Revival

I wanted to post a picture but I couldn't think of a good way to portray "revival" in a picture without snatching something off the web and that doesn't have someone else's name on it.

This has to be the biggest turning point kind of weekend that Sinae and I have seen since our relationship began. After a series of difficult conversations (I might have called these fights in the past) we decided to draw a conservative (Now for those of you who know me, you know how serious I am to use this word) boundary in terms of our physical relationship. We did this before and saw great growth during that time. Since we both seem to have some trust issues, we both agreed that we should focus on developing the emotional side of our relationship to give that aspect time to catch up with the physical side.

I felt bad about this, wondering if we were starting off where we left off when we stopped our previous boundary, hoping that our relationship has been progressing. I started to cry a little bit as I had a loss for words, something that is quite common when we don't have an issue to work through. Since we drew a new boundary, I couldn't opt for the physical side so I had to suffer through it and I cried a little bit. Then Sinae cried a little bit, and a little bit more, and a little bit more. I think we are both happy that this relationship is surviving all of these twists and turns, mountaintops and valleys. And I think that for me, my love for her has been renewed.

I want to talk about something that is a serious struggle, and something that future generations may struggle with, especially people in Korea who were influenced by conservative missionaries of yesterday. When I was a teenager, a lot of people talked about boundaries, as in what NOT to do, but I don't remember much about what we should do. I remember one lesson where the youth pastor talked about boundaries and we even went around the room and drew a boundary. Most of us drew the line at french-kissing. But I'm not sure if that is the best method for drawing a line. I think you have to consider backgrounds (in our case, differing language and cultural backgrounds) that may affect this issue as well as where the most vulnerable points are.

I think that a lot of organizations have done well in presenting the abstinence form of unwanted pregnancies and hopefully this has prospered health on a deeper level than not getting pregnant before a couple is ready. But I think it would have been helpful to address these issues on a more specific basis, and perhaps talking more about how these choices affect one's emotional well-being and how about talking about it in the positive as far as where, when and how it might be appropriate to have some physical contact.

Maybe I'll add that to my book-writing dream AFTER I get married.

Anyway, I think I have peace tonight. I'm not thrilled about the physical boundary, but I am fulfilled to have experienced a very special conversation with Sinae that may have come as a direct result of this boundary. And I hope and pray that we will be stronger about our boundary. I think the ironic thing is that fulfillment comes in waiting. This seems to be an ideal taught in Scripture that must have been as counter-cultural in the various societies represented in culture as it is in this country and others around the world. That is where I think campaigns like "True Love Waits" did well.