Living with Flaws

Why is it that when I tell my wife on a daily basis that I'm not perfect she seems to be okay with that but then when it comes to an issue that is more sensitive that issue seems to be enough to damn our relationship? The key word is "seems". We've been going on for several hours without saying more than necessary. I suppose it will end tomorrow but this being the big deal it seems to be, it may take longer. Meanwhile, I'm trying to get as much work done as possible so that I have room to negotiate tomorrow. Lest the reader think I'm arrogant, I know I have flaws. That's why I've become interested in Calvinism in recent weeks. This gives me a sense of freedom and acceptance. But in moments of not feeling accepted it makes me wonder if Calvinism can be true. And yet in those moments, such as these, where I don't understand why things are such a big deal, I find great peace in the idea that God might accept me in spite of my many flaws. However, that doesn't mean that God is really okay with my flaws. Could God be seen through the perspective of my wife, who although I think she will leave me if she has any sense, she probably won't and instead she will sweat drops of blood in order to make sure I'm a million times better. It's just that the idea of a loving God whom I can't see are get into an argument with seems much more romantic, no pun intended.