Everybody needs their independence, but when?

I learned today that different cultures view independence in different ways. Not only is the definition of independence different, but so is the timing of it.

For most of my life, I seem to recall always dreaming of when I might be set free from the limitations of living with my parents. I presume this to be part of the American dream. Before today, I thought this was the normal thought of people around the world, and perhaps even on other planets.

But I learned that is not the case, especially for Korean women. Instead, it is apparently traditional for Korean women to live with their parents until they get married. The exception to this may be when one goes to college (aka university) or when one is offered a job in another city or when one's own family can't support him or herself, or perhaps when one should support his or her family.

This means that when someone gets married they may have had little or no independent, single experience which makes the transition from the single to the married life much more stressful. Not only do you go from being dependent on others making choices for you or at least helping you make choices to having to make your own choices but your choices also have consequences not only for you but for the person you are in a covenant relationship.

This was very hard for me to swallow. I think it is mostly because of my own experiences. I cannot imagine having to live with my parents for the last 32 years with the exception of going to college. Even though that is a dependence of sorts it is not the same as having to pay rent every month and deal with maintenance issues that you can't simply report to the Resident Assistant (RA) or his/her superior.

This conversation opened up a whole new can of worms as far as my thinking is concerned.