Today has been a long day. I started with a class at 9:10 and I stayed busy for the most part from then until 8:30pm. I got home around 8:45. Because of the holidays and campus events, I had to make up one class tonight (a Friday) and I have to make up more classes next week. I will be glad when this semester is over.
Sometimes I am glad to be doing what I am doing and sometimes I am not. I’m motivated to stay here because of the financial package and the interesting conversations I have with students. But sometimes, many times, I wonder if I should stay here. Even though the financial side is beneficial, I don’t see a lot of fruit coming from what I am doing. The students this semester have been very difficult to work with. I think this is a combination of poor teaching methods, language and cultural barriers and a lack of motivation on the students‘ part. It makes me wonder whether I am making much of a difference.
The difficult thing about teaching is that there is no litmus test for the progress that students could make. I think that students are better at listening and perhaps speaking, too, but that doesn’t mean that they can have a conversation in English very easily. I learned tonight that one student doesn’t know the English equivalent to the Korean words for who, what, when, where, why and how. He knew a few of them but not too many. I shocked me to realize I didn’t know this even though the semester is almost over. When he took the oral mid-term test, he seemed to do okay at speaking in English but when it comes to a regular conversation, he can’t seem to manage that. I’m inclined to give an oral exam where all students can do is study the subject but they don’t know exactly what kind of conversation will take place.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Finding Fulfillment when I Don't Fill It
I had a difficult time at church today. This should not be surprising since we are trying to figure out what to do about the English service. It seems that we are not on the same page as far as the leadership of the service is concerned. One person things we should let lying dogs lie and one person thinks we should keep going regardless of who shows up. Both of these are valuable perspectives, I think. Though I am verbally closer to the person who says to let the thing die, I can also respect the person who finds fulfillment in the service. This experience makes me wonder about fulfillment, something I may not think accurately about in my mind.
To me, if something is worth doing, there is some evidence of fruit. It doesn’t mean that there has to be lots of proof that something is worthwhile but some type of evidence would be nice. As one leader and I were discussing the service, it seemed that we weren’t getting anywhere. We were both probably being too abstract in our thinking. A third person seemed to bring us down to earth. He pointed out that the main reason why people are coming to the service is to learn English. He further suggested that we do something less formal.
The stress on learning English makes me want to shy away from this responsibility. That’s why I wanted to go the other direction after my lunch appointment yesterday. There is a part of me that doesn’t understand why people are so concerned about learning English. Yet there is another part of me that can see why people are so interested in learning English. This does seem curious to me, especially in light of the fact that people come to our English service to learn English. I would think they would go to hagwons or something like that but they seem to be coming to church for that.
I’m not sure what to do with this especially in terms of fulfillment. I have never had someone come up to me telling me how much they appreciate what I do, unless the person was directly involved in the service. I’m reminded of one analogy someone gave me a long time ago, that this dilemma is much the same as the person who runs sound. Nobody goes to the soundperson when everyting is going well to express gratitude to that person. They only go to that person when there is something wrong. I wonder if there is something to this analogy that is applicable to my own life, that sometimes there isn’t the life-fulfillment that I have changed somebody’s life but that I am doing something well. What motivates one to do things that are worthwhile when one does not fulfilled in them? Right now the most fulfilling thing to me is going to sleep. I have gotten a lot of work done today and I am officially out of steam.
To me, if something is worth doing, there is some evidence of fruit. It doesn’t mean that there has to be lots of proof that something is worthwhile but some type of evidence would be nice. As one leader and I were discussing the service, it seemed that we weren’t getting anywhere. We were both probably being too abstract in our thinking. A third person seemed to bring us down to earth. He pointed out that the main reason why people are coming to the service is to learn English. He further suggested that we do something less formal.
The stress on learning English makes me want to shy away from this responsibility. That’s why I wanted to go the other direction after my lunch appointment yesterday. There is a part of me that doesn’t understand why people are so concerned about learning English. Yet there is another part of me that can see why people are so interested in learning English. This does seem curious to me, especially in light of the fact that people come to our English service to learn English. I would think they would go to hagwons or something like that but they seem to be coming to church for that.
I’m not sure what to do with this especially in terms of fulfillment. I have never had someone come up to me telling me how much they appreciate what I do, unless the person was directly involved in the service. I’m reminded of one analogy someone gave me a long time ago, that this dilemma is much the same as the person who runs sound. Nobody goes to the soundperson when everyting is going well to express gratitude to that person. They only go to that person when there is something wrong. I wonder if there is something to this analogy that is applicable to my own life, that sometimes there isn’t the life-fulfillment that I have changed somebody’s life but that I am doing something well. What motivates one to do things that are worthwhile when one does not fulfilled in them? Right now the most fulfilling thing to me is going to sleep. I have gotten a lot of work done today and I am officially out of steam.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
English: Children, Dinner and the Future
Today has been an interesting day. I started by working at home, trying to grade all the papers for mid-terms. I only got through one group’s presentation and I am nearly at the end of my rope, or the end of my day rather. Today has been a day of going back and forth between meetings and work. I thought I could get some work done tonight after all the events were over with but I ended up chatting online instead. Finally, I decided to go running after I had another frustrating conversation about the English service.
The first event of my day was meeting the guy for lunch that I met at the PC room last weekend. It turns out that he is a university student at another university in the same city where I work. I asked him why he wants to be friends with a foreigner and he gave the anwer I expected: I want to improve my English. I responded by saying, “So you want to use me for my English”. He didn’t like the way that sounded and I tried to get him to agree to it several times. I would say we had a half-way decent conversation. It was tiring though because of the language barrier. He insisted on walking with me to my home but I said there was no sense in going any further than the university where I work. As it were, he had to backtrack to the hair salon. He wanted to make sure I didn’t think he was trying to use me for my English. I said, “If that’s the case, let’s only speak in Korean from now on.” He agreed.
After that I went home for an hour to grade tests. I finished one group test but that was it. I arrived at the university about the time that my co-teacher suggested we meet. There was a staff person in the office where I met the Korean teachers (aka TAs) who does not speak much English. I had what seemed like a five-minute conversation with her, mostly in Korean, but it was probably only one minute. This made me feel good about my Korean ability which seems to be improving slowly but surely. But then there were other times today when people couldn’t understand my text messages which I typed in Korean.
My task at the university was to work with one of the Korean teachers, a university student, to teach English to a group of children. I can’t quite say that I taught them because the Korean teacher led them through the CCM songs that they will be presenting to their parents in a few weeks. I mostly engaged with the children during this time. A few of them tried to speak to me in Korean and I understood a little bit of what they were saying. Sometimes I was modeling the pronounciation for them and eventually we played the game, “Do you love your neighbor” and we finished with an airplane roleplay.
This was a lot of fun for me. It seemed that the students had a lot of fun and that they were very comfortable in the classroom. The other teacher and I seemed to work well together, too. The adventure continued as I went to dinner with the other Korean teacher (going together with both teachers would have been nice but one of them had to go to church). The meal cost less than 5 USD. We left earlier than we anticipated because it seemed that the people wanted to close the restaurant. I experienced this same phenomenon yesterday with a foreign professor. It was interesting how nobody came up to us to tell us they were closing but they sent us hints in other ways like closing the doors and turning off the air-conditioning (air-con in Konglish).
By the time I got home at 8pm I had a lot of excitement running through me. I thought this called for a celebration with some watermelon. I thought that after eating some watermelon I would have lots of motivation to work but this was not the case at all. I stared at my computer screen for several hours. I was thinking about going running but I didn’t want to leave my apartment so I was thinking of going to sleep. Then when someone called me to talk about the English service I got upset and then I knew I had to go running. So I went running and walking for what seemed to be an hour. Because of being angry, I probably ran harder at times than I have recently. After running I felt less stress, though I am still frustrated about what I should do.
The first event of my day was meeting the guy for lunch that I met at the PC room last weekend. It turns out that he is a university student at another university in the same city where I work. I asked him why he wants to be friends with a foreigner and he gave the anwer I expected: I want to improve my English. I responded by saying, “So you want to use me for my English”. He didn’t like the way that sounded and I tried to get him to agree to it several times. I would say we had a half-way decent conversation. It was tiring though because of the language barrier. He insisted on walking with me to my home but I said there was no sense in going any further than the university where I work. As it were, he had to backtrack to the hair salon. He wanted to make sure I didn’t think he was trying to use me for my English. I said, “If that’s the case, let’s only speak in Korean from now on.” He agreed.
After that I went home for an hour to grade tests. I finished one group test but that was it. I arrived at the university about the time that my co-teacher suggested we meet. There was a staff person in the office where I met the Korean teachers (aka TAs) who does not speak much English. I had what seemed like a five-minute conversation with her, mostly in Korean, but it was probably only one minute. This made me feel good about my Korean ability which seems to be improving slowly but surely. But then there were other times today when people couldn’t understand my text messages which I typed in Korean.
My task at the university was to work with one of the Korean teachers, a university student, to teach English to a group of children. I can’t quite say that I taught them because the Korean teacher led them through the CCM songs that they will be presenting to their parents in a few weeks. I mostly engaged with the children during this time. A few of them tried to speak to me in Korean and I understood a little bit of what they were saying. Sometimes I was modeling the pronounciation for them and eventually we played the game, “Do you love your neighbor” and we finished with an airplane roleplay.
This was a lot of fun for me. It seemed that the students had a lot of fun and that they were very comfortable in the classroom. The other teacher and I seemed to work well together, too. The adventure continued as I went to dinner with the other Korean teacher (going together with both teachers would have been nice but one of them had to go to church). The meal cost less than 5 USD. We left earlier than we anticipated because it seemed that the people wanted to close the restaurant. I experienced this same phenomenon yesterday with a foreign professor. It was interesting how nobody came up to us to tell us they were closing but they sent us hints in other ways like closing the doors and turning off the air-conditioning (air-con in Konglish).
By the time I got home at 8pm I had a lot of excitement running through me. I thought this called for a celebration with some watermelon. I thought that after eating some watermelon I would have lots of motivation to work but this was not the case at all. I stared at my computer screen for several hours. I was thinking about going running but I didn’t want to leave my apartment so I was thinking of going to sleep. Then when someone called me to talk about the English service I got upset and then I knew I had to go running. So I went running and walking for what seemed to be an hour. Because of being angry, I probably ran harder at times than I have recently. After running I felt less stress, though I am still frustrated about what I should do.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Is Something Wrong?
I haven’t journaled for the last two nights. I made up for one of these times the next morning but I didn’t make it up in time to do that this morning. Interestingly, it was the nights that I didn’t exercised that I missed journaling. It is ironic that excercising actually gives me energy.
I was expecting to meet a student later tonight to give him some paperwork that he needs to apply to a university in Seoul. Unfortunately, he got caught in traffic so we are going to meet on Monday. This is unfortunate since that is my research day but perhaps that will be good because I can do some reading in the library or I can just take a break at that time and come back home for a few hours.
Today was a much better day than the last few Fridays have been. I still found my conversation class to be a struggle. Personally I want to step away from the book but I think there is some value to it in helping students learn English grammar. Unfortunately, most of the students today didn’t do their homework so they had to spend a good amount of classtime doing homework. Perhaps I should’ve just moved on to the next task. I was hoping to have people compare answers. I find myself trying to pattern the way I teach after the Greek classes that I took in college and seminary. Unfortunately this is an entirely different setting since I am not speaking to students in their native language. Sometimes they end up teaching me as much about Korean as I teach them about English. The more I study Korean the more interested I become.
When I went to chapel today, I tried writing down words that the speaker used but I didn’t find this as meaningful today as I did on Sunday when I did the same thing. I’m not sure if it was the fact that the sermon was shorter, that I didn’t understand as many words or if my mood was just different. Sometimes I think it is more relaxing knowing that I can’t understand what the speaker is saying and therefore I am more relaxed because I can’t complain about something I don’t understand. At the same time, I think it would be nice to at least understand what the other person is saying.
Lunch with one of my colleagues was interesting as usual. We talked about a plethora of subjects ranging from university politics to media literacy to writing in my journal. Of course this included other subjects like church and Korean culture. He is always telling me to write, write, write.
Eventually I returned to my office to work on the recommendation forms for the student I already mentioned. I was happy to get this done in a relatively short amount of time. After that was all said and done, I tried to contact the department chair of one of the departments I belong to. Since I was told the professor’s English-speaking abilities are limited, I attempted to write the e-mail in Korean and English. One of my Korean collegues whose English far outweighs my Korean (I can’t really have a conversation in Korean) told me my Korean is great. I thought she was being sarcastic but she didn’t seem to back down when I kept telling her I am not good at Korean. I guess she is saying that I am making progress which is an important thing in learning another language. I try to send text messages in Korean as much as possible. Sometimes I text in Korean and other people text me in English. I guess this gives all of us practice, though sometimes we can have misunderstandings if I don’t understand the Korean or vice versa.
During the afternoon time, I also had another Korean colleague visit my office. He expressed interest in visiting around the same time every Friday. He showed me the memory verses he has learned in English from the Bible. I was impressed at his intonation as he quoted the verses to me.
I didn’t meet with the Korean professor that I usually have dinner with on Friday nights. This was a nice break. I am usually worn out by Friday nights and we often have difficult conversations (because of language and cultural barriers). This enabled me to come home and make some dinner. For some reason, by the time I got home I was feeling really good. I suppose it may have had something to do with getting more sleep last night. It may also be because I am doing something with children tomorrow. It seems that I thrive on doing many things. Apparently it gives me something to look forward to. I would imagine that tomorrow night I will feel the letdown that I usually feel on Friday nights.
I’m wondering whether I should continue blogging as I have been or if I should change it slightly. I would imagine it is getting boring to read about the same types of events everyday. For me, being able to put this on a blog helps me to keep on track with doing this. At the same time, I am reticent to say everything because of a fear of offending someone. I worried about that with my last post since I addressed an issue that could be quite controversial.
I was expecting to meet a student later tonight to give him some paperwork that he needs to apply to a university in Seoul. Unfortunately, he got caught in traffic so we are going to meet on Monday. This is unfortunate since that is my research day but perhaps that will be good because I can do some reading in the library or I can just take a break at that time and come back home for a few hours.
Today was a much better day than the last few Fridays have been. I still found my conversation class to be a struggle. Personally I want to step away from the book but I think there is some value to it in helping students learn English grammar. Unfortunately, most of the students today didn’t do their homework so they had to spend a good amount of classtime doing homework. Perhaps I should’ve just moved on to the next task. I was hoping to have people compare answers. I find myself trying to pattern the way I teach after the Greek classes that I took in college and seminary. Unfortunately this is an entirely different setting since I am not speaking to students in their native language. Sometimes they end up teaching me as much about Korean as I teach them about English. The more I study Korean the more interested I become.
When I went to chapel today, I tried writing down words that the speaker used but I didn’t find this as meaningful today as I did on Sunday when I did the same thing. I’m not sure if it was the fact that the sermon was shorter, that I didn’t understand as many words or if my mood was just different. Sometimes I think it is more relaxing knowing that I can’t understand what the speaker is saying and therefore I am more relaxed because I can’t complain about something I don’t understand. At the same time, I think it would be nice to at least understand what the other person is saying.
Lunch with one of my colleagues was interesting as usual. We talked about a plethora of subjects ranging from university politics to media literacy to writing in my journal. Of course this included other subjects like church and Korean culture. He is always telling me to write, write, write.
Eventually I returned to my office to work on the recommendation forms for the student I already mentioned. I was happy to get this done in a relatively short amount of time. After that was all said and done, I tried to contact the department chair of one of the departments I belong to. Since I was told the professor’s English-speaking abilities are limited, I attempted to write the e-mail in Korean and English. One of my Korean collegues whose English far outweighs my Korean (I can’t really have a conversation in Korean) told me my Korean is great. I thought she was being sarcastic but she didn’t seem to back down when I kept telling her I am not good at Korean. I guess she is saying that I am making progress which is an important thing in learning another language. I try to send text messages in Korean as much as possible. Sometimes I text in Korean and other people text me in English. I guess this gives all of us practice, though sometimes we can have misunderstandings if I don’t understand the Korean or vice versa.
During the afternoon time, I also had another Korean colleague visit my office. He expressed interest in visiting around the same time every Friday. He showed me the memory verses he has learned in English from the Bible. I was impressed at his intonation as he quoted the verses to me.
I didn’t meet with the Korean professor that I usually have dinner with on Friday nights. This was a nice break. I am usually worn out by Friday nights and we often have difficult conversations (because of language and cultural barriers). This enabled me to come home and make some dinner. For some reason, by the time I got home I was feeling really good. I suppose it may have had something to do with getting more sleep last night. It may also be because I am doing something with children tomorrow. It seems that I thrive on doing many things. Apparently it gives me something to look forward to. I would imagine that tomorrow night I will feel the letdown that I usually feel on Friday nights.
I’m wondering whether I should continue blogging as I have been or if I should change it slightly. I would imagine it is getting boring to read about the same types of events everyday. For me, being able to put this on a blog helps me to keep on track with doing this. At the same time, I am reticent to say everything because of a fear of offending someone. I worried about that with my last post since I addressed an issue that could be quite controversial.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
A Typical Day With Some Questions
I am writing this on Thursday morning instead of Wednesday night because when I went home last night I was exhausted. I intended to stay up late to do some work for classes but I kept hearing voices telling me that I should get some sleep. I’ve been through enough sleep deprivation to know my own sleep cycle. I got four-and-a-half hours of sleep the night before last so I figured I better get some sleep last night and hopefully I can get by on less sleep tonight.
Nothing out of the ordinary happened yesterday. Well, I did have an interesting conversation with one student who missed the mid-term last week. One of my colleagues told me she wouldn’t let the student retake the mid-term if she missed it. But since the student was sick and since I myself have fallen upon the grace of professors, I decided to give her a break. Of course she will still have to prepare for the test and I am not the funnest person to take a test with (I like to ask difficult questions in case you forgot).
Yesterday was my free-talking only day. Of course it isn’t just free-talking because it also involves teaching the class at City Hall. This is always interesting, perhaps because of the maturity of the staff taking that class. Last night, the topic was about adoption. This is something I’ve been thinking about more since re-connecting with one of my cousins. I was surprised to hear people talk about the importance of bloodline in Korea. I thought that if Koreans adopted Koreans they wouldn’t be disrupting the bloodline but apparently that is not the case. One person wondered how difficult it would be to discipline children who are not one’s own children. It seemed to me she was referring to adopting children when they are ten years or older when they are adopted.
This conversation reminded me of three people: the first two are my cousins who were born in Korea, one of which I’ve been corresponding with lately (I love the look in peoples’ eyes when I tell them I have a Korean cousin). This has been interesting to talk to her about her home country. It seems ironic that I am in her home country and I am looking forward to telling her many more things when I go home in a month-and-a-half as well as hearing her own story. The third person is Janelle Matthews, a girl who disappeared about 33 years ago. I never knew her personally but I did know her family. I remember seeing the “Missing” posters when I first started going to Sunny View Church of the Nazarene in Greeley, Colorado. Eventually the family had a farewell service. They never found Janelle and it seemed possible that she might not be alive. Whether or not this was true, it was a way for the family to bring closure to this experience.
I think of adoption as a just cause and I still think it is. But I have more questions about the whole process. It seems like a good thing. As one of the staffpersons last night said, everybody should have a family. With globalization being what it is today, it makes one wonder if other countries will or have had people who adopt people from richer countries. What would it be like for a Korean family to adopt an American, where the American goes to live with the Korean family in Korea. How would that affect the person’s psyche? What might the differences be between adopting a toddler and a teenager?
Nothing out of the ordinary happened yesterday. Well, I did have an interesting conversation with one student who missed the mid-term last week. One of my colleagues told me she wouldn’t let the student retake the mid-term if she missed it. But since the student was sick and since I myself have fallen upon the grace of professors, I decided to give her a break. Of course she will still have to prepare for the test and I am not the funnest person to take a test with (I like to ask difficult questions in case you forgot).
Yesterday was my free-talking only day. Of course it isn’t just free-talking because it also involves teaching the class at City Hall. This is always interesting, perhaps because of the maturity of the staff taking that class. Last night, the topic was about adoption. This is something I’ve been thinking about more since re-connecting with one of my cousins. I was surprised to hear people talk about the importance of bloodline in Korea. I thought that if Koreans adopted Koreans they wouldn’t be disrupting the bloodline but apparently that is not the case. One person wondered how difficult it would be to discipline children who are not one’s own children. It seemed to me she was referring to adopting children when they are ten years or older when they are adopted.
This conversation reminded me of three people: the first two are my cousins who were born in Korea, one of which I’ve been corresponding with lately (I love the look in peoples’ eyes when I tell them I have a Korean cousin). This has been interesting to talk to her about her home country. It seems ironic that I am in her home country and I am looking forward to telling her many more things when I go home in a month-and-a-half as well as hearing her own story. The third person is Janelle Matthews, a girl who disappeared about 33 years ago. I never knew her personally but I did know her family. I remember seeing the “Missing” posters when I first started going to Sunny View Church of the Nazarene in Greeley, Colorado. Eventually the family had a farewell service. They never found Janelle and it seemed possible that she might not be alive. Whether or not this was true, it was a way for the family to bring closure to this experience.
I think of adoption as a just cause and I still think it is. But I have more questions about the whole process. It seems like a good thing. As one of the staffpersons last night said, everybody should have a family. With globalization being what it is today, it makes one wonder if other countries will or have had people who adopt people from richer countries. What would it be like for a Korean family to adopt an American, where the American goes to live with the Korean family in Korea. How would that affect the person’s psyche? What might the differences be between adopting a toddler and a teenager?
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
I bought a dress
Today ended up completely different than I anticipated last night. I decided to go to Seoul to shop for a hanbok (a Korean traditional dress) for my cousin. Since she was born in Korea this is something I really wanted to do for her. She said that I didn’t have to but when I insisted on it, she consented. I didn’t really insist, it’s just that she is a genuine Korean which means she was being modest (in my opinion). So I met my Korean teacher, who is also a friend, in Seoul. Unfortunately, I wasn’t as thoughtful as I could’ve been so I went with a low cell phone battery and I was an hour late. She was mad when I first told her where I was and she knew how long it would take me but by the time I got there she was cool. I bought her dinner which was intended to be part of my penance and I told her I’d buy her dinner at the Outback sometime.
I’m grateful that she was able to help me. We went to several different shops. The first was luxurious, the second was about the price I expected and the third had some really good deals. We decided to buy the third option. I was nervous about this because I didn’t want to buy her the “cheap” item but I also didn’t want to spend more of her money than necessary.
This was my first time shopping for a dress so I was quite uneasy about it. I was glad to do it for my cousin and I’d do anything for her or her brother who were born here, but buying something for someone else without having her right there or knowing exactly what her intentions are for using the dress were difficult. I almost went back and bought the more expensive one but I decided to hold on to this one because of the advice of my friend.
After we bought it, we had cold noodles (냉면). This was my friends request and I had no complaints because I also like this type of food. It is good especially when it is hot outside. When we walked in, we almost sat in chairs where it was really crowded. Usually Koreans like to eat on the floor (and this is more true the older people get, though there are exceptions) so I told her I was okay to sit on the floor. And that is what we did.
After that we went to the subway. We tried to catch a rapid transit train but our timing was off so we got back on a subway train and had some interesting conversation for the next hour or two. Then I decided to go grocery shopping after that (shop ‘til you drop, right?) so we got off at the same station.
When I got back I felt bad about not getting the dresses for my nieces that my sister-in-law requested. But I feel better now that I know it would’ve been way out of her price range (double what she wanted to spend). I still feel bad for not getting them since this might be something really special for them. It would give them an opportunity at a young age to be exposed to a different culture. I was thinking too much in terms of the price limit my sister-in-law gave me and not enough in terms of the gift. Since I had a broader range with my cousin it was easier to focus on getting the job done.
All in all, I’d say this has been a good Children’s Day. I think it was probably more eventful than the Children’s Day I had last year at this time. The mission for my nieces is not over. I just have to keep thinking.
I decided to take heed to my teacher/friend’s advice to keep writing Korean sentences. So I’m going to focus on this more than writing every Korean word down on a list. When I get on the plane to America I will have lots of time to study. Maybe I can also work in a Korean movie or ten. You gotta love those Korean movies. They are great stress relievers.
I’m grateful that she was able to help me. We went to several different shops. The first was luxurious, the second was about the price I expected and the third had some really good deals. We decided to buy the third option. I was nervous about this because I didn’t want to buy her the “cheap” item but I also didn’t want to spend more of her money than necessary.
This was my first time shopping for a dress so I was quite uneasy about it. I was glad to do it for my cousin and I’d do anything for her or her brother who were born here, but buying something for someone else without having her right there or knowing exactly what her intentions are for using the dress were difficult. I almost went back and bought the more expensive one but I decided to hold on to this one because of the advice of my friend.
After we bought it, we had cold noodles (냉면). This was my friends request and I had no complaints because I also like this type of food. It is good especially when it is hot outside. When we walked in, we almost sat in chairs where it was really crowded. Usually Koreans like to eat on the floor (and this is more true the older people get, though there are exceptions) so I told her I was okay to sit on the floor. And that is what we did.
After that we went to the subway. We tried to catch a rapid transit train but our timing was off so we got back on a subway train and had some interesting conversation for the next hour or two. Then I decided to go grocery shopping after that (shop ‘til you drop, right?) so we got off at the same station.
When I got back I felt bad about not getting the dresses for my nieces that my sister-in-law requested. But I feel better now that I know it would’ve been way out of her price range (double what she wanted to spend). I still feel bad for not getting them since this might be something really special for them. It would give them an opportunity at a young age to be exposed to a different culture. I was thinking too much in terms of the price limit my sister-in-law gave me and not enough in terms of the gift. Since I had a broader range with my cousin it was easier to focus on getting the job done.
All in all, I’d say this has been a good Children’s Day. I think it was probably more eventful than the Children’s Day I had last year at this time. The mission for my nieces is not over. I just have to keep thinking.
I decided to take heed to my teacher/friend’s advice to keep writing Korean sentences. So I’m going to focus on this more than writing every Korean word down on a list. When I get on the plane to America I will have lots of time to study. Maybe I can also work in a Korean movie or ten. You gotta love those Korean movies. They are great stress relievers.
Monday, May 4, 2009
No More Long Days
It’s been a long day. I probably start off with that quite often. I guess I’ll have to change that for next time since it seems like I have a lot of long days. Today was more relaxing than some research days because I had fewer things nagging for my attention. It helps that tomorrow is a holiday: Children’s Day. I was planning on going to Seoul to meet an acquaintance I met sometime in the past but she didn’t respond to a text message I sent last night so I thought maybe she had other plans. When I called her and thought about the possibility of going to Seoul my heartrate seemed to increase. I told her I was relieved to think that I might not have to go to Seoul. She seemed to understand in spite of making these plans when she was still in Japan. I also thought that maybe I misunderstood something since we were texting in Korean at that time.
I felt a lot better today than I felt a week ago. I’m not sure what made the difference except perhaps making some slight changes in my routine. I’m not chatting online as much these days. I don’t think this is intentional but it seems to work out that way and I find that I am more focused on getting things done and am not allowing myself to get as distracted. I figure if people want to know what is going on with me they can read my blog. I think I am being slightly more intentional about getting work done, though I still have the times where I have to convince myself that I can do whatever task is before me.
After talking to my parents and another friend I try to talk to every Monday, I started reading about Shamanism. This is helpful in learning about Korean culture and it is also relevant at times to the subject I am researching. I didn’t work on this project the whole time, however. Part of that time I worked out some kinks on airline tickets, frequent flyer miles, accounts and I even copied some corrected Korean sentences into my Korean journal. I am almost up to 300 sentences and I can still hardly have a conversation in Korean. I corresponded a few times today with a speech therapist I met at church who is interested in improving her English skills. I can justify this because it seems that I will have to speak in Korean if I want to communicate with her.
At 4pm, I had to attend a staff meeting. Today was different than usual because we had a special guest who talked to us about needs assessment. This was good in that it reminded us to be student-centered and not lesson-centered. Though we had questions at time, I think we conceded that this is a good thing overall. Since the speaker seemed to “badmouth” Korean culture a few times, I wondered what the one Korean sitting in the room was thinking.
After that I went to meet with the family I have dinner with every week. Tonight I just went with their daughters to the restaurant one floor below their apartment. Usually, Korean restaurants have a hurry, hurry (빨리 빨리) mentality but there are a few restaurants that serve spaghetti, pork and other types of dishes that are not really busy and they don’t seem to rush customers in and out of the restaurant. It is a nice environment for people like me who like to take a little bit more time eating their food. The conversation with these girls is getting easier and easier since they understand so much English. The bad part is that I don’t speak in Korean as much as I could.
After that I went to teach the class at city hall. This never seems to be the same. We usually talk about interesting subjects. Tonight I talked to them about why the taxi driver has given me a discount on a few occasions and whether I am obligated to do something for them in return. Since tipping is not allowed here there is nothing I can do. This discussion led to a conversation about how taxi drivers get paid. After that was resolved, which took a while to understand, I tried to give the people in the class more opportunity to speak. This showed me that I am speaking too much and not giving other people enough opportunity to speak. Many of the questions I ask are difficult which is good for them to think critically about in English and also for them to practice speaking in English. By the time we went around in a circle, we had gotten into a discussion about whether parents should have the right to tell their children what to do with their lives after they graduate from the university.
When I got home, I checked my e-mail, took care of a situation so that I can pay my travel agent for the flight tickets (at a relatively low cost for flying from Asia to North America), calling someone else and then I decided to go running. I knew I had many things to do but I decided to make this part of my “Brent Time”. It seems to be helpful for me to have this space to think about nothing but running and whatever happens to come to mind. I had one person say hello to me in Korean or so I thought and I responded. But then they just kind of looked at me so I wondered if I was just hallucinating.
For the past few hours I’ve been adding Korean words to my vocabulary list while also chatting a little bit with people. I eventually signed out and am about ready to crash for the night. I’m not sure this method is the perfect way to learn Korean but I haven’t figured out a better way and I think this is good for reviewing the things I am learning. I have a lot of things to do tomorrow and I am hoping to focus on grading mid-terms, studying Korean (maybe finishing the vocabulary list from the textbook and adding some more from the sentences I have recorded. My goal is to have an exhaustive vocabulary list which I can review on the plane for so many hours. I hope to finish the mid-terms tomorrow morning and then work on the Korean project in the afternoon. I’m also planning to meet my Korean teacher in front of her office so we can shop for a Korean traditional dress for my Korean cousin (one of them). That should be an interesting experience.
I felt a lot better today than I felt a week ago. I’m not sure what made the difference except perhaps making some slight changes in my routine. I’m not chatting online as much these days. I don’t think this is intentional but it seems to work out that way and I find that I am more focused on getting things done and am not allowing myself to get as distracted. I figure if people want to know what is going on with me they can read my blog. I think I am being slightly more intentional about getting work done, though I still have the times where I have to convince myself that I can do whatever task is before me.
After talking to my parents and another friend I try to talk to every Monday, I started reading about Shamanism. This is helpful in learning about Korean culture and it is also relevant at times to the subject I am researching. I didn’t work on this project the whole time, however. Part of that time I worked out some kinks on airline tickets, frequent flyer miles, accounts and I even copied some corrected Korean sentences into my Korean journal. I am almost up to 300 sentences and I can still hardly have a conversation in Korean. I corresponded a few times today with a speech therapist I met at church who is interested in improving her English skills. I can justify this because it seems that I will have to speak in Korean if I want to communicate with her.
At 4pm, I had to attend a staff meeting. Today was different than usual because we had a special guest who talked to us about needs assessment. This was good in that it reminded us to be student-centered and not lesson-centered. Though we had questions at time, I think we conceded that this is a good thing overall. Since the speaker seemed to “badmouth” Korean culture a few times, I wondered what the one Korean sitting in the room was thinking.
After that I went to meet with the family I have dinner with every week. Tonight I just went with their daughters to the restaurant one floor below their apartment. Usually, Korean restaurants have a hurry, hurry (빨리 빨리) mentality but there are a few restaurants that serve spaghetti, pork and other types of dishes that are not really busy and they don’t seem to rush customers in and out of the restaurant. It is a nice environment for people like me who like to take a little bit more time eating their food. The conversation with these girls is getting easier and easier since they understand so much English. The bad part is that I don’t speak in Korean as much as I could.
After that I went to teach the class at city hall. This never seems to be the same. We usually talk about interesting subjects. Tonight I talked to them about why the taxi driver has given me a discount on a few occasions and whether I am obligated to do something for them in return. Since tipping is not allowed here there is nothing I can do. This discussion led to a conversation about how taxi drivers get paid. After that was resolved, which took a while to understand, I tried to give the people in the class more opportunity to speak. This showed me that I am speaking too much and not giving other people enough opportunity to speak. Many of the questions I ask are difficult which is good for them to think critically about in English and also for them to practice speaking in English. By the time we went around in a circle, we had gotten into a discussion about whether parents should have the right to tell their children what to do with their lives after they graduate from the university.
When I got home, I checked my e-mail, took care of a situation so that I can pay my travel agent for the flight tickets (at a relatively low cost for flying from Asia to North America), calling someone else and then I decided to go running. I knew I had many things to do but I decided to make this part of my “Brent Time”. It seems to be helpful for me to have this space to think about nothing but running and whatever happens to come to mind. I had one person say hello to me in Korean or so I thought and I responded. But then they just kind of looked at me so I wondered if I was just hallucinating.
For the past few hours I’ve been adding Korean words to my vocabulary list while also chatting a little bit with people. I eventually signed out and am about ready to crash for the night. I’m not sure this method is the perfect way to learn Korean but I haven’t figured out a better way and I think this is good for reviewing the things I am learning. I have a lot of things to do tomorrow and I am hoping to focus on grading mid-terms, studying Korean (maybe finishing the vocabulary list from the textbook and adding some more from the sentences I have recorded. My goal is to have an exhaustive vocabulary list which I can review on the plane for so many hours. I hope to finish the mid-terms tomorrow morning and then work on the Korean project in the afternoon. I’m also planning to meet my Korean teacher in front of her office so we can shop for a Korean traditional dress for my Korean cousin (one of them). That should be an interesting experience.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Easter and the Church
Easter and The Church
Acts 4:23-37
When I was in my 20s, there was a popular book. It was called, “Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire.” It was a book about prayer. Like “The Purpose-Driven Life,” this book was very popular. The pastor himself didn’t have a degree in Bible or theology. He claimed to base his ministry on prayer. He said that God built this church. The church was located in New York City. And he claimed that this ministry grew and grew because the people of the church prayed.
As many people ran to the bookstore to buy this book, I stayed home. When something is popular I usually go in a different way than everyone else. But I knew people who had read this book. One of these people was my pastor. She said that this book made her think about her own prayer time. She described this as a difficult experience. I thought to myself, “why would someone read a book that makes one’s life more difficult?” She thought this was a good thing. I’m sure this made her look at her prayer time differently. But I wasn’t convinced.
Around that time, I went to a youth conference. One of the workshops I went to was about this book. The person who led the workshop was also a believer in the book. He talked some about this book. Then he gave us an opportunity to experience prayertime during that workshop. After the prayertime was over with, he asked us to talk about our experience. I remember there was one girl who was deaf. She could not hear anything but during that prayertime she heard some kind of noise. She took this to be a message from God. She thought God was saying, “If you meet me like this more often, I will do great things.”
Even after this experience, I still wasn’t convinced. If God wanted to do something really great, why didn’t God just restore her hearing? It is a common thing for us to try to go back to the good ol’ days. Maybe for some of us, the good ol’ days were when we were in high school. If we are married now, maybe the good ol’ days are when we were single. If we are single, maybe we’re still looking for the good ol’ days.
Many people have read Acts with a desire to get back to the good ol’ days. They think that the church used to be perfect. If we could only be like the early church was, that would really be something. Then we could really do church. That is what this book was about. As with many popular Christian books that time came and went. The writer said that if people started praying there could be a revival. If there was one, I don’t think it happened in my church.
For some reason, I have always struggled with prayer times like these. It was like a speech class. I felt like my prayer had to go a certain way. Since I was preparing to be a minister, I thought that I had to say everything just right. I hear that same concern when I hear people ask how to pray in English. I wonder if we miss the point with prayer. Or if at least the writer of the book missed something.
This is not the first chapter in Acts. This is the fourth chapter. Much has happened here. Jesus has spent time with the disciples in his resurrected body. Jesus has told the disciples to tell the good news of Jesus dying, being buried and being raised from the dead. The disciples did what Jesus said and they got arrested.
Now I don’t know about you but I think I’d have a word or two for Jesus. “Now just a minute. I’m okay with telling people about you. But what is the point of getting arrested for obeying you.” I guess the apostles came to expect this after following a guy who got in trouble a lot. After they had been set free, they went to the church.
There is something interesting about this church that the apostles were leading. Acts 4 tells us that they went to their friends. It doesn’t tell us they went to their business partners. It doesn’t tell us that they went to the board meeting. It tells us they went to their friends. The people of this group within the Jewish faith were so close that they were friends.
For me, this word is sacred. I don’t call just anyone my friend. I have different levels of relationships. First, there are acquaintances. This is someone that I meet. I might even have lunch with them at work. But these are not quite my friends. Then there are casual friends. These are people I might have dinner with but there are some things I still don’t talk to them about. Then there are friends. These are people I’m comfortable with whom I don’t have to hang out with. I choose to hang out with them. Then there are close friends. These are the people that I tell everything to. These are the people that I call when I am depressed, when I want to talk to someone without worrying what they might think. When I read Acts, I hear the writer saying that the people of this Church that started at Pentecost were close friends. And that’s probably why the Apostles went to them first.
Now why would someone want to arrest Jesus’ apostles? Surely these were good people. Surely they didn’t make people too excited. All they were doing was being witnesses. They were telling people what they saw. But of course part of what they saw was Jewish religious leaders pushing for Jesus to be killed. And if somebody was wrong, it was probably those religious leaders. Or maybe it was the Jewish people of Israel who agreed to have Jesus crucified. I think I would arrest somebody if it looked like I had killed the Son of God.
After these apostles were set free from jail, they went back to their friends. And THEN they prayed to God in one accord. I can’t help but think that all the craze about praying is sometimes misinformed. In this story, prayer is a response to what God is doing and a request for God to continue acting. It is not enough to pray in and of itself. These followers of Jesus were praising God. They called God sovereign. This means they recognized that God is the one who creates. They didn’t give God this title often. It was a special occasion. And while they were at it, they asked God to continue to use the apostles. They wanted the disciples to speak with boldness. This means they wanted people to believe the apostles’ story. They needed to believe themselves that the story they were telling was indeed true.
And now comes the moment we’ve all been waiting, the shaking of that place. All we are left to here is imagination. We don’t know what the people said. We don’t know whether they prayed for this sort of thing to happen. It would seem unlikely that they asked God to make that place shake. And yet that is sometimes how we rate the effectiveness of a prayer meeting. We sometimes try to repeat this kind of a scenario because then we know that God is involved. And yet, we are told time and time again that if we want to experience salvation with God, we must trust God. That means there is an element of uncertainty.
I should probably apologize to you for choosing such a long passage to read from this morning. I’m sorry. I could have chosen Acts 4:23-31. Or I could have chosen Acts 4:32-37. If I chose Acts 4:23-31, I worried that we might think praying is enough. And if I chose Acts 4:31-37 we might think that serving is enough. Acts 4:31-37 is about service. It would be easy for me to go this direction. Where is God involved in the world? I think it must be with poor people. It must be in helping those who can’t help themselves. But if God is relational, surely prayer is important too. This is where I struggle. It’s difficult for me to pray to a God that I can’t see or hear or understand. So I thought this sermon would speak to me if I included both parts. And maybe by including both parts it will speak to you, too.
The text tells us that there was great grace upon the apostles. We often think of grace as this forgiveness that God gives us. We talk about God’s gracing overlooking our sins. But grace is much more than this. It also refers to God giving us power. And that is what God did for the apostles.
The disciples were testifying to the resurrection of Jesus Christ. We are still celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ. This is the fourth week after Easter. It was a new day after Jesus was raised from the dead. It was originally the apostles’ duty to talk about Jesus being raised from the dead. And now it is our turn. How do we talk about Jesus being raised from the dead?
On Easter Sunday I went to the Seoul Anglican Cathedral, 서울대성당. The priest gave a decent sermon. First he preached in English and then he preaced in Korean. I was impressed since he is a native English speaker. I was convinced that he researched the passage well. But I was also disappointed that he didn’t talk about what difference the resurrection makes today.
The resurrection was central to the message of the apostles. Yes, they talked about Jesus’ life. Yes, they talked about Jesus dying on the cross. Yes, they talked about Jesus being buried. But the good news is that Jesus was raised from the dead. And the good news that carries from the good news is that life can be different. Life can be better.
So what difference does the resurrection of Jesus make to 나사렛대학교회? Why are we here? What difference does the resurrection make to this English service? Why do we come here every week at 9am? We could go to the 11:00 service and even get to sleep in. Is there a reason? Is it so we can improve our English? Is it to extend an invitation to people who don’t go to any church? Is it to connect with the students of this university? Is it to minister to people in the community where this church is located? Are we doing that?
There is an important detail that I failed to mention. It was the result of the prayer meeting in the room that shook. The people asked God to give the apostles authority. How did God do this? God filled them with the Holy Spirit. This wasn’t the first time the apostles experienced the Holy Spirit. To say this was the first time they received the Holy Spirit would be misleading. This was a fresh infilling of God’s Spirit. Now why would God do this if God only wanted those Christians to pray? Lots of people pray. They don’t need the Holy Spirit to do that. But in order to fulfill God’s call for us, we need to experience God’s power that comes through the Holy Spirit.
When a church does what the apostles and the early Christians did, we say, “the Church is being The Church”. Unfortunately, many times this is not the case. Many times people don’t extend love to other people. I wish I could simply ask whether that is the case at this church. But I’m afraid it is the case. There is a lack of community here. People come here because they have to or because their spouse has to. Perhaps there are people who come here for other reasons. But having talked to university students who haven’t experienced that grace at this church, what can we do to change it?
There are lots of ministries where the Church is being The Church. These come in a lot of different forms. One of these is the XXXChurch. This is a ministry that was started to help people who are addicted to pornography. Pastors from this church go to events where there are strippers dancing on stage. Their motto is, “Jesus loves porn stars.” Their goal is not to shut down the companies that produce these materials. Rather, they want to help people addicted to these types of materials to be free.
Yesterday I talked to a friend of mine about what it would be like for the Church to be The Church. He imagined that the Church could be so much more if people were honest. The word used to describe the relationship of the people at church in Acts is “friends”. This takes grace. It’s easier to come, do our thing of going to church and then going home or to the Yawoori or whatever. But to develop relationships with people takes work. Let it start with us, in the English congregation at 나사렛대학교회. Look around for the students. Don’t assume they have enough friends. Look around for the people you don’t know. Think about walking around the neighborhood and helping those who can’t help themselves. I think my friend is right about the Church. If we realize the resurrection of Jesus in our own lives, we could make our lives better and everyone else's.
Acts 4:23-37
When I was in my 20s, there was a popular book. It was called, “Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire.” It was a book about prayer. Like “The Purpose-Driven Life,” this book was very popular. The pastor himself didn’t have a degree in Bible or theology. He claimed to base his ministry on prayer. He said that God built this church. The church was located in New York City. And he claimed that this ministry grew and grew because the people of the church prayed.
As many people ran to the bookstore to buy this book, I stayed home. When something is popular I usually go in a different way than everyone else. But I knew people who had read this book. One of these people was my pastor. She said that this book made her think about her own prayer time. She described this as a difficult experience. I thought to myself, “why would someone read a book that makes one’s life more difficult?” She thought this was a good thing. I’m sure this made her look at her prayer time differently. But I wasn’t convinced.
Around that time, I went to a youth conference. One of the workshops I went to was about this book. The person who led the workshop was also a believer in the book. He talked some about this book. Then he gave us an opportunity to experience prayertime during that workshop. After the prayertime was over with, he asked us to talk about our experience. I remember there was one girl who was deaf. She could not hear anything but during that prayertime she heard some kind of noise. She took this to be a message from God. She thought God was saying, “If you meet me like this more often, I will do great things.”
Even after this experience, I still wasn’t convinced. If God wanted to do something really great, why didn’t God just restore her hearing? It is a common thing for us to try to go back to the good ol’ days. Maybe for some of us, the good ol’ days were when we were in high school. If we are married now, maybe the good ol’ days are when we were single. If we are single, maybe we’re still looking for the good ol’ days.
Many people have read Acts with a desire to get back to the good ol’ days. They think that the church used to be perfect. If we could only be like the early church was, that would really be something. Then we could really do church. That is what this book was about. As with many popular Christian books that time came and went. The writer said that if people started praying there could be a revival. If there was one, I don’t think it happened in my church.
For some reason, I have always struggled with prayer times like these. It was like a speech class. I felt like my prayer had to go a certain way. Since I was preparing to be a minister, I thought that I had to say everything just right. I hear that same concern when I hear people ask how to pray in English. I wonder if we miss the point with prayer. Or if at least the writer of the book missed something.
This is not the first chapter in Acts. This is the fourth chapter. Much has happened here. Jesus has spent time with the disciples in his resurrected body. Jesus has told the disciples to tell the good news of Jesus dying, being buried and being raised from the dead. The disciples did what Jesus said and they got arrested.
Now I don’t know about you but I think I’d have a word or two for Jesus. “Now just a minute. I’m okay with telling people about you. But what is the point of getting arrested for obeying you.” I guess the apostles came to expect this after following a guy who got in trouble a lot. After they had been set free, they went to the church.
There is something interesting about this church that the apostles were leading. Acts 4 tells us that they went to their friends. It doesn’t tell us they went to their business partners. It doesn’t tell us that they went to the board meeting. It tells us they went to their friends. The people of this group within the Jewish faith were so close that they were friends.
For me, this word is sacred. I don’t call just anyone my friend. I have different levels of relationships. First, there are acquaintances. This is someone that I meet. I might even have lunch with them at work. But these are not quite my friends. Then there are casual friends. These are people I might have dinner with but there are some things I still don’t talk to them about. Then there are friends. These are people I’m comfortable with whom I don’t have to hang out with. I choose to hang out with them. Then there are close friends. These are the people that I tell everything to. These are the people that I call when I am depressed, when I want to talk to someone without worrying what they might think. When I read Acts, I hear the writer saying that the people of this Church that started at Pentecost were close friends. And that’s probably why the Apostles went to them first.
Now why would someone want to arrest Jesus’ apostles? Surely these were good people. Surely they didn’t make people too excited. All they were doing was being witnesses. They were telling people what they saw. But of course part of what they saw was Jewish religious leaders pushing for Jesus to be killed. And if somebody was wrong, it was probably those religious leaders. Or maybe it was the Jewish people of Israel who agreed to have Jesus crucified. I think I would arrest somebody if it looked like I had killed the Son of God.
After these apostles were set free from jail, they went back to their friends. And THEN they prayed to God in one accord. I can’t help but think that all the craze about praying is sometimes misinformed. In this story, prayer is a response to what God is doing and a request for God to continue acting. It is not enough to pray in and of itself. These followers of Jesus were praising God. They called God sovereign. This means they recognized that God is the one who creates. They didn’t give God this title often. It was a special occasion. And while they were at it, they asked God to continue to use the apostles. They wanted the disciples to speak with boldness. This means they wanted people to believe the apostles’ story. They needed to believe themselves that the story they were telling was indeed true.
And now comes the moment we’ve all been waiting, the shaking of that place. All we are left to here is imagination. We don’t know what the people said. We don’t know whether they prayed for this sort of thing to happen. It would seem unlikely that they asked God to make that place shake. And yet that is sometimes how we rate the effectiveness of a prayer meeting. We sometimes try to repeat this kind of a scenario because then we know that God is involved. And yet, we are told time and time again that if we want to experience salvation with God, we must trust God. That means there is an element of uncertainty.
I should probably apologize to you for choosing such a long passage to read from this morning. I’m sorry. I could have chosen Acts 4:23-31. Or I could have chosen Acts 4:32-37. If I chose Acts 4:23-31, I worried that we might think praying is enough. And if I chose Acts 4:31-37 we might think that serving is enough. Acts 4:31-37 is about service. It would be easy for me to go this direction. Where is God involved in the world? I think it must be with poor people. It must be in helping those who can’t help themselves. But if God is relational, surely prayer is important too. This is where I struggle. It’s difficult for me to pray to a God that I can’t see or hear or understand. So I thought this sermon would speak to me if I included both parts. And maybe by including both parts it will speak to you, too.
The text tells us that there was great grace upon the apostles. We often think of grace as this forgiveness that God gives us. We talk about God’s gracing overlooking our sins. But grace is much more than this. It also refers to God giving us power. And that is what God did for the apostles.
The disciples were testifying to the resurrection of Jesus Christ. We are still celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ. This is the fourth week after Easter. It was a new day after Jesus was raised from the dead. It was originally the apostles’ duty to talk about Jesus being raised from the dead. And now it is our turn. How do we talk about Jesus being raised from the dead?
On Easter Sunday I went to the Seoul Anglican Cathedral, 서울대성당. The priest gave a decent sermon. First he preached in English and then he preaced in Korean. I was impressed since he is a native English speaker. I was convinced that he researched the passage well. But I was also disappointed that he didn’t talk about what difference the resurrection makes today.
The resurrection was central to the message of the apostles. Yes, they talked about Jesus’ life. Yes, they talked about Jesus dying on the cross. Yes, they talked about Jesus being buried. But the good news is that Jesus was raised from the dead. And the good news that carries from the good news is that life can be different. Life can be better.
So what difference does the resurrection of Jesus make to 나사렛대학교회? Why are we here? What difference does the resurrection make to this English service? Why do we come here every week at 9am? We could go to the 11:00 service and even get to sleep in. Is there a reason? Is it so we can improve our English? Is it to extend an invitation to people who don’t go to any church? Is it to connect with the students of this university? Is it to minister to people in the community where this church is located? Are we doing that?
There is an important detail that I failed to mention. It was the result of the prayer meeting in the room that shook. The people asked God to give the apostles authority. How did God do this? God filled them with the Holy Spirit. This wasn’t the first time the apostles experienced the Holy Spirit. To say this was the first time they received the Holy Spirit would be misleading. This was a fresh infilling of God’s Spirit. Now why would God do this if God only wanted those Christians to pray? Lots of people pray. They don’t need the Holy Spirit to do that. But in order to fulfill God’s call for us, we need to experience God’s power that comes through the Holy Spirit.
When a church does what the apostles and the early Christians did, we say, “the Church is being The Church”. Unfortunately, many times this is not the case. Many times people don’t extend love to other people. I wish I could simply ask whether that is the case at this church. But I’m afraid it is the case. There is a lack of community here. People come here because they have to or because their spouse has to. Perhaps there are people who come here for other reasons. But having talked to university students who haven’t experienced that grace at this church, what can we do to change it?
There are lots of ministries where the Church is being The Church. These come in a lot of different forms. One of these is the XXXChurch. This is a ministry that was started to help people who are addicted to pornography. Pastors from this church go to events where there are strippers dancing on stage. Their motto is, “Jesus loves porn stars.” Their goal is not to shut down the companies that produce these materials. Rather, they want to help people addicted to these types of materials to be free.
Yesterday I talked to a friend of mine about what it would be like for the Church to be The Church. He imagined that the Church could be so much more if people were honest. The word used to describe the relationship of the people at church in Acts is “friends”. This takes grace. It’s easier to come, do our thing of going to church and then going home or to the Yawoori or whatever. But to develop relationships with people takes work. Let it start with us, in the English congregation at 나사렛대학교회. Look around for the students. Don’t assume they have enough friends. Look around for the people you don’t know. Think about walking around the neighborhood and helping those who can’t help themselves. I think my friend is right about the Church. If we realize the resurrection of Jesus in our own lives, we could make our lives better and everyone else's.
Another Good Day
Today has been a long, but enjoyable and even a productive day. It started with an English service, a Korean service, lunch, translating the first sentence of the Lord’s prayer from Korean into English (still trying to figure out what to do with the difference in Korean grammar, like where it says that God’s hallowed name is received), hiking, dinner at home, watching a Korean movie, cleaning my apartment, and filling out my district license renewal application.
The first thing on my list of things to do was to participate in the English service at one of the churches I am involved in. I had more responsibility today because I preached and I did the things I usually do (confession, reading the scripture, leading the congregation in confessing the Apostles’ Creed and giving the benediction. One person told me she feels inspired when she listens to my sermons. Another person told me I spoke slower today than usual which is a good thing I think. After this I waited for two students who have been missing the class the last few weeks because of schedule conflicts or tests.
At 11:00 I went to the Korean service at the same church. I was going to do something to keep myself occupied and then I decided to write down as many words as I could make out during the sermon. I came up with 150 or more and was told they were mostly right (nobody told me exactly how many were wrong). I found this to be much less frustrating than simply listening to a sermon where it seems that most of what is being said doesn’t make sense to me.
Then I ate lunch with two guys I know and get along with rather well. We didn’t talk real long because the people responsible for cleaning the room where we ate asked us to leave so that they could clean the tables. This doesn’t quite seem hospitable to me but it is common at this church for people to do that sort of thing.
After that, I went to the other church where I am involved. The Korean name means “Grace” when translated into English. I think this is much more of a “grace place” than the church I went to this morning. I don’t know how intelligible my thoughts were about the first sentence of the Lord’s prayer were. This was complicated by a word or series of words in Korean that mean to receive. It seems questionable whether the person praying or God is receiving.
After this class, I played around with some children at church, one of which goes to the class I taught. When we left, his mom asked if I am busy (in Korean). I wasn’t quite sure what she said and I ended up being invited to hike with them at a mountain nearby. The truth was that I needed to grade some mid-terms but I wasn’t sure I would get anything done at home. I most certainly didn’t want to spend hours at home getting nothing done so I decided to say yes.
This was an interesting time since only two people could speak a little English and the other two could only speak Korean. I made the youngest person laugh when I called the children “grandma” or “grandpa” in Korean. After we came down from the mountain, the mother who invited me bought ice creamish snacks for all of us. When we got to my apartment (officestel) building I said goodbye and made some dinner.
I watched a Korean movie while I ate rice, tofu and kimchi. This was another interesting movie that started with a proverb about making branches move with one’s spirit and mind. I tried to listen to what people were saying in Korean but since the subtitles were in English I paid more attention to the story line than learning the Korean words that were being used.
After the movie was over I decided it was time to clean my apartment. I tend to let it get a little dirty before I clean it. Then when I realize that the clutter is distracting me from doing my work, I do a thorough cleaning. I’m guessing this happens once a month. I think the last time I did this was when my ex-girlfriend came over here and I basically ruined the relationship. Several hours later, I was done with the apartment and now I have the satisfaction of setting my mind to do something and actually doing it without spending several hours convincing myself that I can really do it. I was interrupted by this exciting activity by the same woman who bought ice cream for all of us after hiking when she brought me kimchi. This was another kind gesture on her part.
When I came back, I sent a text message to one of the people leading the English service asking her if she was okay. She called me and we talked about the service. I was aggravated by the fact that the senior pastor wants to continue the English service without helping us find people to lead it in a way that is better. One person suggested that we include the sermon in Korean in the bulletin. I think that if we do that we might as well have the service be in Korean. It is frustrating to me that people seem to think we should be to blame when they can’t understand it. I don’t notice anybody trying to make a Korean service simpler just because I am there. But I guess that is to be expected since I am the guest.
An hour after that I finished cleaning my apartment and then I decided to check my e-mail and found information about applying for the renewal of my district license. Even though it was quite late by then, I decided to finish the application tonight so that I can focus on reading tomorrow. I have a ton of work to do to catch up on the research I’m behind on. So now it is 1:35am and I think I am ready to get some shuteye.
The highlight of today was definitely going hiking with the people from “Grace Church” and then reading the text message from one person who asked me if I needed kimchi (in Korean of course) and later brought it to me. This is in spite of the fact that she can’t speak much English. It seems like the mothers of these children are really trying to look out for me. This makes it very difficult for me to complain about Christians being hypocrites. These people seem to be interested in practicing what they preach. If I could do anything I think I would back off of the church where we are trying to have an English service and just go to Grace Church. But it is difficult because I wouldn’t be able to do anything in a church service if I didn’t participate in this service, at least not in a Korean church. But I think we need to do some major planning if we decide to continue, and it seems that none of us have time to really plan for it.
The first thing on my list of things to do was to participate in the English service at one of the churches I am involved in. I had more responsibility today because I preached and I did the things I usually do (confession, reading the scripture, leading the congregation in confessing the Apostles’ Creed and giving the benediction. One person told me she feels inspired when she listens to my sermons. Another person told me I spoke slower today than usual which is a good thing I think. After this I waited for two students who have been missing the class the last few weeks because of schedule conflicts or tests.
At 11:00 I went to the Korean service at the same church. I was going to do something to keep myself occupied and then I decided to write down as many words as I could make out during the sermon. I came up with 150 or more and was told they were mostly right (nobody told me exactly how many were wrong). I found this to be much less frustrating than simply listening to a sermon where it seems that most of what is being said doesn’t make sense to me.
Then I ate lunch with two guys I know and get along with rather well. We didn’t talk real long because the people responsible for cleaning the room where we ate asked us to leave so that they could clean the tables. This doesn’t quite seem hospitable to me but it is common at this church for people to do that sort of thing.
After that, I went to the other church where I am involved. The Korean name means “Grace” when translated into English. I think this is much more of a “grace place” than the church I went to this morning. I don’t know how intelligible my thoughts were about the first sentence of the Lord’s prayer were. This was complicated by a word or series of words in Korean that mean to receive. It seems questionable whether the person praying or God is receiving.
After this class, I played around with some children at church, one of which goes to the class I taught. When we left, his mom asked if I am busy (in Korean). I wasn’t quite sure what she said and I ended up being invited to hike with them at a mountain nearby. The truth was that I needed to grade some mid-terms but I wasn’t sure I would get anything done at home. I most certainly didn’t want to spend hours at home getting nothing done so I decided to say yes.
This was an interesting time since only two people could speak a little English and the other two could only speak Korean. I made the youngest person laugh when I called the children “grandma” or “grandpa” in Korean. After we came down from the mountain, the mother who invited me bought ice creamish snacks for all of us. When we got to my apartment (officestel) building I said goodbye and made some dinner.
I watched a Korean movie while I ate rice, tofu and kimchi. This was another interesting movie that started with a proverb about making branches move with one’s spirit and mind. I tried to listen to what people were saying in Korean but since the subtitles were in English I paid more attention to the story line than learning the Korean words that were being used.
After the movie was over I decided it was time to clean my apartment. I tend to let it get a little dirty before I clean it. Then when I realize that the clutter is distracting me from doing my work, I do a thorough cleaning. I’m guessing this happens once a month. I think the last time I did this was when my ex-girlfriend came over here and I basically ruined the relationship. Several hours later, I was done with the apartment and now I have the satisfaction of setting my mind to do something and actually doing it without spending several hours convincing myself that I can really do it. I was interrupted by this exciting activity by the same woman who bought ice cream for all of us after hiking when she brought me kimchi. This was another kind gesture on her part.
When I came back, I sent a text message to one of the people leading the English service asking her if she was okay. She called me and we talked about the service. I was aggravated by the fact that the senior pastor wants to continue the English service without helping us find people to lead it in a way that is better. One person suggested that we include the sermon in Korean in the bulletin. I think that if we do that we might as well have the service be in Korean. It is frustrating to me that people seem to think we should be to blame when they can’t understand it. I don’t notice anybody trying to make a Korean service simpler just because I am there. But I guess that is to be expected since I am the guest.
An hour after that I finished cleaning my apartment and then I decided to check my e-mail and found information about applying for the renewal of my district license. Even though it was quite late by then, I decided to finish the application tonight so that I can focus on reading tomorrow. I have a ton of work to do to catch up on the research I’m behind on. So now it is 1:35am and I think I am ready to get some shuteye.
The highlight of today was definitely going hiking with the people from “Grace Church” and then reading the text message from one person who asked me if I needed kimchi (in Korean of course) and later brought it to me. This is in spite of the fact that she can’t speak much English. It seems like the mothers of these children are really trying to look out for me. This makes it very difficult for me to complain about Christians being hypocrites. These people seem to be interested in practicing what they preach. If I could do anything I think I would back off of the church where we are trying to have an English service and just go to Grace Church. But it is difficult because I wouldn’t be able to do anything in a church service if I didn’t participate in this service, at least not in a Korean church. But I think we need to do some major planning if we decide to continue, and it seems that none of us have time to really plan for it.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
A Bizarre Day
Today was a bizarre kind of day. It started out good. I woke up about eight or nine hours after I went to sleep. Unfortunately I didn’t sleep very well. I felt like I was on top of the mountain when I woke up. Then I got distracted by calling a friend in America. The conversation was very worthwhile but I got my mind off of what I was doing. After I finished talking with him I chatted for several hours with another friend. Again, this conversation was worthwhile but it didn’t help me in getting my work done.
I was dreading writing a sermon because of my chronic perfectionistic tendencies. This was heightened by the difficulty of writing a sermon that is usually difficult for people to understand. So I read through some commentaries and then decided to take a nap. I had to drag myself out of bed at 6 to write the sermon. I wondered if I was writing it in vain since the copy center closed. At 7:30 or so I headed to the university campus to see if they were still open and sure enough they were closed.
On my way to the university I ran into one of my colleagues and his wife. He suggested to me that I print off my sermon at a PC bang (aka a computer/internet cafe). He also invited me to stop by their apartment to get some books I asked about before. Since the copy center was closed I went to Kimbap Nara for some dinner. I’m trying to branch out to other restaurants when I am alone but I chose this restaurant since I’m familiar with it and I was relatively close to it. When I ordered the waitress asked me something I didn’t understand. I understood 괜찮아요? (okay) so I said “yes”. It all seemed to work out okay since the meal was good.
After that, I went to the PC bang to print off my sermon. I had some difficulties printing it off at the computer so the guy at the desk let me print it off from his computer. As I was paying for it, he asked me where I live. I told him and he said that he would like to become friends with a foreigner. Alarms went off inside of me while at the same time I was excited about the fact that someone might want to be friends with me. So I said I am looking for a Korean friend and that I am not interested in teaching English. He seemed to be okay with that. We will see. One of my uncles, the paternal uncle who still talks to me, told me once that if I am out and about I might find a friend where I least expected to find one.
After that I went to my colleague’s apartment and his wife offered me ice cream. I think I got there around 8:30 and I left at 10:30. This was an interesting conversation in many ways.
I spent most of the day in my apartment and I didn’t get very much done. I was hoping to grade mid-terms and add more words to my Korean vocabulary list but I didn’t get either of those things done. The highlight of the day was definitely hanging out tonight with a colleague and his wife. It’s amazing how being with people changes my attitude towards myself.
I was dreading writing a sermon because of my chronic perfectionistic tendencies. This was heightened by the difficulty of writing a sermon that is usually difficult for people to understand. So I read through some commentaries and then decided to take a nap. I had to drag myself out of bed at 6 to write the sermon. I wondered if I was writing it in vain since the copy center closed. At 7:30 or so I headed to the university campus to see if they were still open and sure enough they were closed.
On my way to the university I ran into one of my colleagues and his wife. He suggested to me that I print off my sermon at a PC bang (aka a computer/internet cafe). He also invited me to stop by their apartment to get some books I asked about before. Since the copy center was closed I went to Kimbap Nara for some dinner. I’m trying to branch out to other restaurants when I am alone but I chose this restaurant since I’m familiar with it and I was relatively close to it. When I ordered the waitress asked me something I didn’t understand. I understood 괜찮아요? (okay) so I said “yes”. It all seemed to work out okay since the meal was good.
After that, I went to the PC bang to print off my sermon. I had some difficulties printing it off at the computer so the guy at the desk let me print it off from his computer. As I was paying for it, he asked me where I live. I told him and he said that he would like to become friends with a foreigner. Alarms went off inside of me while at the same time I was excited about the fact that someone might want to be friends with me. So I said I am looking for a Korean friend and that I am not interested in teaching English. He seemed to be okay with that. We will see. One of my uncles, the paternal uncle who still talks to me, told me once that if I am out and about I might find a friend where I least expected to find one.
After that I went to my colleague’s apartment and his wife offered me ice cream. I think I got there around 8:30 and I left at 10:30. This was an interesting conversation in many ways.
I spent most of the day in my apartment and I didn’t get very much done. I was hoping to grade mid-terms and add more words to my Korean vocabulary list but I didn’t get either of those things done. The highlight of the day was definitely hanging out tonight with a colleague and his wife. It’s amazing how being with people changes my attitude towards myself.
Friday, May 1, 2009
An Interesting Day
Happy May Day! I didn’t realize it but today is International Labor Day. I just want to know why I didn’t have today off. Maybe it has something to do with Children’s Day which is coming up on Tuesday.
This was a less eventful day today than yesterday. All I did today was teach a class, eat lunch with two students and a professor, meet with a counselor and then I met with another professor whom I had dinner with. The class didn’t go as well as I had hoped. A few of the students told me they would like to have more opportunity to speak so I tried to give them more opportunity to speak. This meant they just spoke in Korean more. I’m not sure what to do about this situation.
I was going to have lunch with a professor whom I usually meet with on Fridays but I never received a response from him regarding my e-mail. It turned out that his response was in his drafts folder so I never received it and I thought he was busy. I was going to have lunch alone and I ran into a few students I know so we had lunch together. We tried to speak in Korean but we ended up speaking in English after all.
After lunch I went back to my office to work on things for a while before my appointment at 2pm. I wasn’t very productive during that time because I was nervous about meeting a counselor at 2pm. This was supposed to be a diagnosis of my recent emotional state. I was beginning to think I might have clinical depression but she didn’t even see the point of me meeting with a psychiatrist. She did advise me to seek counseling if this were a more ideal setting where she knew someone who wasn’t busy, didn’t charge as much money and who could speak English very well. I thought her English was good but she seemed to think it wouldn’t be good enough. In any event, after talking for an hour-and-a-half, she basically told me that she doesn’t perceive me having any major problems and that I need to develop some friendships or else I will get worse. So I guess this is a refresher course from earlier times in my life when I was “depressed” as a result of being lonely.
Meeting with another professor went well, though I found this to be very exhausting. Even though his English is good we still have difficulties communicating with each other. This makes me think it will be just as frustrating to communicate with people in Korean if I ever get anywhere near close to being able to communicate in Korean. Sometimes it seems that we are just not on the same page.
After I came home, I decided I needed to start running. So before I turned the computer on I changed my clothes and I went running. I must confess that I didn’t run the whole time but I ran part of the time as I explored this part of the city where I live. I tried to find a coffee shop where I might be able to work tomorrow but I forgot that I have some commentaries to read so I guess I will stay here until I get that done. Hopefully I will be able to go to a restaurant around here for lunch. I think at the very least I need to stop staying in my apartment all day. It is sometimes difficult choosing a restaurant to eat at alone because some places only sell food that is too much for one person to eat. Eating in a restaurant makes me feel good because ordering in Korean gives me confidence about communicating with the waiter or waitress. It also makes me feel good just to be around people. Part of me wonders if my difficulties are related to a personality change because it seems that I am becoming more and more energized as I am around people. I think I better be reading somewhere else for my research project on Monday so I can actually get something done.
That was a long tangent. After I got home from running, I tried to start working on my sermon for Sunday. I was not at all enthused about preaching earlier today. I’m still uneasy about it because it seems like most people don’t understand what I am saying. I do a lot of reading for it and I wonder if this is in vain to some degree. What often happens is that I use too many big words and too long of sentences. I am not sure that reading the sermon is helpful either.
I thought that running would give me more energy but instead it seems to have made me more tired. Perhaps this is a good thing because I’ve been having more trouble sleeping. The only thing I haven’t done yet is add more Korean words to my vocabulary list. I might just let myself have one night off so I can get some shuteye.
This was a less eventful day today than yesterday. All I did today was teach a class, eat lunch with two students and a professor, meet with a counselor and then I met with another professor whom I had dinner with. The class didn’t go as well as I had hoped. A few of the students told me they would like to have more opportunity to speak so I tried to give them more opportunity to speak. This meant they just spoke in Korean more. I’m not sure what to do about this situation.
I was going to have lunch with a professor whom I usually meet with on Fridays but I never received a response from him regarding my e-mail. It turned out that his response was in his drafts folder so I never received it and I thought he was busy. I was going to have lunch alone and I ran into a few students I know so we had lunch together. We tried to speak in Korean but we ended up speaking in English after all.
After lunch I went back to my office to work on things for a while before my appointment at 2pm. I wasn’t very productive during that time because I was nervous about meeting a counselor at 2pm. This was supposed to be a diagnosis of my recent emotional state. I was beginning to think I might have clinical depression but she didn’t even see the point of me meeting with a psychiatrist. She did advise me to seek counseling if this were a more ideal setting where she knew someone who wasn’t busy, didn’t charge as much money and who could speak English very well. I thought her English was good but she seemed to think it wouldn’t be good enough. In any event, after talking for an hour-and-a-half, she basically told me that she doesn’t perceive me having any major problems and that I need to develop some friendships or else I will get worse. So I guess this is a refresher course from earlier times in my life when I was “depressed” as a result of being lonely.
Meeting with another professor went well, though I found this to be very exhausting. Even though his English is good we still have difficulties communicating with each other. This makes me think it will be just as frustrating to communicate with people in Korean if I ever get anywhere near close to being able to communicate in Korean. Sometimes it seems that we are just not on the same page.
After I came home, I decided I needed to start running. So before I turned the computer on I changed my clothes and I went running. I must confess that I didn’t run the whole time but I ran part of the time as I explored this part of the city where I live. I tried to find a coffee shop where I might be able to work tomorrow but I forgot that I have some commentaries to read so I guess I will stay here until I get that done. Hopefully I will be able to go to a restaurant around here for lunch. I think at the very least I need to stop staying in my apartment all day. It is sometimes difficult choosing a restaurant to eat at alone because some places only sell food that is too much for one person to eat. Eating in a restaurant makes me feel good because ordering in Korean gives me confidence about communicating with the waiter or waitress. It also makes me feel good just to be around people. Part of me wonders if my difficulties are related to a personality change because it seems that I am becoming more and more energized as I am around people. I think I better be reading somewhere else for my research project on Monday so I can actually get something done.
That was a long tangent. After I got home from running, I tried to start working on my sermon for Sunday. I was not at all enthused about preaching earlier today. I’m still uneasy about it because it seems like most people don’t understand what I am saying. I do a lot of reading for it and I wonder if this is in vain to some degree. What often happens is that I use too many big words and too long of sentences. I am not sure that reading the sermon is helpful either.
I thought that running would give me more energy but instead it seems to have made me more tired. Perhaps this is a good thing because I’ve been having more trouble sleeping. The only thing I haven’t done yet is add more Korean words to my vocabulary list. I might just let myself have one night off so I can get some shuteye.
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