A book I recommend

My dad's younger brother (not to be confused with his youngest brother) lived in Denver for a number of years. I suppose people thought he would retire there. He certainly had developed quite a circle of friends and lived in a nice house in a nice part of the city (Well, I liked it when I visited). Then one day, he started to make plans to build a house in the middle of nowhere. To be honest, I think a lot of people thought he had lost his mind (I confess that I was one of them). People simply couldn't understand why a person would leave comfort for discomfort. Apparently, he wasn't the first person to do such a thing. But unlike others who have tried the same and failed, he has been very successful. Not only has he built his own home (I only hope that his parents can see what he is doing now) and built a new circle of friends, but he has also become a professional writer. That makes me proud which is why I introduced his book to my students before E-Cafe (It's not so much a cafe as it is a big room with a mixed-coffee dispenser and a place for students to sit and practice their English with a "native speaker") one day. I hope you'll consider buying this book to see just a little bit more why someone would want to leave the city (I'll confess, that as much as I like cities I have a hard time comprehending why people want to live in the country but perhaps my day will come too) to be in a place where they can have as much solitude as they want. You can buy the book in an electronic or in a hard-copy version at www.blurb.com.

Reading Report #5

I came across, "The Shack" when I visited America alone because Sinae had to stay in Korea that summer to focus on her thesis. Her advisor told her, "If you want to graduate, then you better stay in Korea". She wanted to graduate so she stayed in Korea. I went to target and I bought several books, this being one of them and another being "The Help". I'm currently reading another book I bought that day. By the way, when I returned to Korea, I had to reorganize my books in my carry-on luggage in order to not have to pay the surcharge of $150 or whatever in order to compensate for an overweight bag. I don't have a lot to say about this book because I think it speaks for itself. I started this book at the airport in Denver the night before Sinae and I returned to Korea this last summer (I'll hopefully be posting some pictures about that soon). I enjoyed reading this book for the simple reason that it is a conversation with God. I suppose one could argue that some of the language is oversimplified. I presumed this book was not written for philosophers and theologians in the academic sense but for "lay theologians" or those struggling in their faith. I was one of those. I appreciated the relational aspect of the book throughout and the writer's attempt to deal with tough questions like, "Where is God when there is suffering" and the relationship between God and time. Even though I think the write took a more traditional approach, I think he pushed that envelope enough to make readers think without pushing them over the edge. This is a good book especially for those who have had a tragedy that they couldn't understand or for those who earnestly pray (or want to pray) but can't seem to hear God's voice.

Reading Report #4

I was looking at books in Kyobo, the equivalent of Barnes and Noble in Korea, and I stumbled across this book. I had been looking for a book on the history of Korean churches for some time. It became clear in conversations with Sinae that my assumptions about Korean churches were not accurate. Of course, at that time my experience of churches in Korea were limited to the Church of the Nazarene which is supposedly the smallest denomination of the Wesleyan-holiness tradition in Korea. Of course I didn't buy the book right away. I wouldn't want to be hasty about buying a book now, would I? But I did toil to find the book at Yes24.com, the equivalent of Amazon.com, and I told Sinae I'd like to receive this book as a gift for my birthday. I'm embarrassed to say it took me what seemed like a year and maybe longer to finish this book. In fact I didn't finish it until Sinae and I took a trip to America last summer so it may have taken me longer than a year. This book is also as thick as the bible. I think I'm attracted to thick books, as you will see from future reading reports. I was a little disappointed to find that this book doesn't deal with contemporary issues because it was translated from a Korean work that was apparently published sometime in the 1970s. However, that being said, I still found the book to be helpful in understanding Korea's history. The downside of this book is that the translation is not always accurate so I found myself proofreading in my head in order to understand what the author intended to say. Some things to note: 1. The Catholic Church was the first tradition to come to Korea. This reality makes it all the more puzzling that there is such a strong line between Catholics and Protestants. In Korea, Catholics don't even call their place of worship a "church" but a "cathedral". 2. Presbyterians and Methodists were the next group to come. I want to say Presbyterians came first but I don't want to get too bold here. This explains why Presbyterians and Methodists (stating this order based on my historical understanding not on my denominational preference)are the largest bodies and why my own tradition, the Church of the Nazarene, is so small. 3. A desire to not be distinct. This subject has been the source of many heated conversations between Sinae and I. It seems that Koreans don't seek to have the same distinctive doctrines that American churches have which could be a good thing I suppose. In my experience, only ministers know the differences between denominations. Even Wesleyan-holiness pastors don't necessarily preach a strong message on entire sanctification because they don't want to overwhelm the person listening (I don't intend to stereotype. My understanding of Korean is minimal and I can only make this claim based on a conversation with one pastor). There seems to be a long history of American missionaries wanting to underscore the distinctiveness and Koreans wanting to work together. However, there were still problems even in single denominations over a liberal/conservative divide. Of course that divide was premature to the homosexual debate so the definition of "liberal" would be along different lines anyway.

Reading Report #3

I heard a lot about Carl Gustav Jung from Sinae while she was doing her graduate studies in Art Psycho-therapy. Just to show you how desperately I needed to start reading books in my own language, I sometimes got into arguments with Sinae about whether Jung was right. Granted, the conversations were about difficult content in my second language (Unless you count Hebrew, Greek and Spanish, in which case Korean would be my sixth language but I think I know more about Korean than I do any other language besides English of course), but I still think I am guilty as charged. Ironically, as Sinae and I were at Harvard Square in Boston, we stumbled upon a used bookstore. I believe it was called, Raven's Used Bookstore. There were several good books there. I will tell you all about them later. But for now, one of those books was this book apparently translated. I found myself enjoying Jung (By the way, I take it that the 'u' is a long 'u'. Korean is very useful at this point) much more than I thought. Again, I don't don't want to regurgitate Jung but there are some points worth commenting on. 1. I like Jung's style of keeping psychology and faith in tension. I had a conversation with someone on YouTube in the comment bar who was getting other Christians excited by saying they were believing in a myth. This person claimed that science disproves God's existence but Jung offers a scientific yet counter-argument to that. 2. One of the more difficult aspects to follow was Jung's discussion of dreams. This is so long that I think I stretched it out over such a long time that I couldn't follow the main point. 3. One part that seemed the most relevant to me and what I do was where Jung compared easterners with westerners. Now before you read further, keep in mind that Sinae and I had a disagreement about this part. Jung said that easterners are more introverted than westerners are. Now this might be a generalization but I think it is true. From what I see, people are more reserved in Korea than they are in America. But of course there are some people in Korea who are more talkative than people in America and vice versa. You get the sense that I need to do more reading here? 4. An interesting read for me was Jung's work on Job. One thing I find comical about this part was that Jung seemed to spend more time talking about the entire bible than he did about the book of Job itself. Although Jung comes across as a skeptic in the beginning, I think his perspective is needed given the way that he seeks to interpret the book of Job and then he comes full circle to a rational faith position.

Reading Report #2

I bought "His Needs, Her Needs" in my hometown in 2011. I think it was after my wife and I had our wedding ceremony (not a full-fledged wedding, which would be done in South Korea) and we decided to go shopping. That was the beginning of a toiling confrontation with my animosity towards shopping. I had developed the habit of walking in and out of stores in as little time as possible. I still think I could do all my grocery shopping in fifteen minutes (That's in Korea. I bet I could shave five minutes off in America), although I haven't done that since I got married. Anyway, my wife, Sinae, wanted to look around a little bit and I could tell I was starting to boil just because I didn't want to shop for nick-nacks. As we were shopping, we passed by the books at a local Target and I saw this book. I had apparently heard a lot about it even though I didn't get married until I was in my mid-thirties so I figured our struggle with shopping had something to do with the fact that our needs were different. I'm not going to go into great detail because I don't want to spoil the book. I think this is fundamental for any married couple. Some of the stuff seemed to be culturally-specific so Sinae and I couldn't apply everything (like where the writer talks about even talking about relationships from the past, which I've been told is a no-no in Korea) there were some key points. 1. The differences between women and men and the way the writer focuses on women for one chapter and then men the next and does the same throughout the book was a good way for me to really comprehend the material. There were definitely things that seemed to apply to my situation. 2. The financial discussion was impeccable. I wish I had read this chapter before I got married. The part about if a woman works it is for living more luxuriously and not for the bare minimum was eye-opening to me. By the way, I don't think that the writer is being unreasonable when he states that a family can live off of one income. 3. The chapter on designating house chores is brilliant. Sinae says that's "American style" and that you can't designate chores but the way I see it, we have done that more or less. I cook very simple things (Trying to find a way to overcome this but for now I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that my wife is more skilled in that area than I am) and my wife tends to do most of the cooking. I typically do the dishes, although Sinae is often gracious and does the dishes. Sinae does the surface cleaning and if I get enthused I do the deep cleaning. Because the washing machine where we live is in the basement, which is the equivalent of a dungeon to Sinae, I was automatically elected to that duty. 4. I was also reading this book when I heard of married folk cheating on their spouses and I really appreciated the authors emphasis on the hope of restoring the relationship. In a world (not just one society) that seems to make it easier and easier to get a divorce the first time something bad happens, I really appreciated not only the author's encouragement but practical steps for restoring the relationship.

Reading Report #1

Since I returned from the US I have become more aware of the urgent need of me reading more. I've lived in Korea for the last five years and I think I've focused on learning Korean (at least in thought) more than I thought about the need to feed my soul (metaphorically speaking, not to be confused with the Platonic soul). I have to be honest and thank my wife for pointing out my naivete on several points. I've also noticed that reading on the way to and from work is beneficial. I've practically read entire magazines and lectures just on my way to work and back which is about 20 minutes round trip if I'm walking quickly. I've noticed it takes me about five minutes longer one way unless I'm really pressed for time when I read while I'm walking to my office. This has proven to be seriously therapeutic. I've read two issues of "Grace and Peace" a magazine for licensed and ordained ministers in the Church of the Nazarene, and I've also read two lectures by Ron Benefiel, the current department chair of the School of Theology and Christian Ministries at Point Loma Nazarene University. So from now on, I'm hoping to report on what I've read. For starters, and forgive me if I've posted this book before, I'm posting, "The Feeling Good Handbook," a book that has been extremely beneficial to me in my struggle to overcome shame, something I've only become aware of in the last three years or so. I always knew I struggled with self-esteem issues but narrowing that down to a struggle with shame and some practical tools on how to overcome that shame has made a huge difference in my personal life. Those tools have come directly from David D. Burns, first in his book "Feeling Good" and subsequently in his sequel, "The Feeling Good Handbook". The latter seems to have worked out some of the bugs of the former, though I still think "Feeling Good" is a better place to start. The latter is an extremely thick book, perhaps comparable in size to a modern translation of the bible in small print. Although numerous methods are described, I find the daily log the most helpful probably because that is the place to start. I have struggled with finding time for this but when alarms go off inside of me that something is wrong and that it won't go away by wrestling with the thoughts in my head, I take a minute to turn on my computer and talk about the feeling, pinpoint the cognitive distortion and revise my negative thought to make it more reasonable. I am constantly amazed how that seemingly menial exercise is enough to change my whole day. As a side note, although I read this book a long time ago and there may be many things I have forgotten, I found what Dr. Burns says about expressing one's feelings to one's spouse before they become threatening to be a good approach although I'm still learning how to do this in a way that is meaningful to my wife and not just a means of dumping my frustrations on my wife.