Yesterday evening, they finally transferred Mom to the Transitional Care Unit (TCU). I first learned about this unit through a patient I met on the elevator who is probably around my age, who was wheeling himself around in a wheelchair. He broke my stereotypes of someone with blue hair and a patch over his eye. It turns out he is a very positive person and extremely easy to talk to. In fact, sometimes I end up talking with him as long as I talk to my mom. I'm glad for him that he gets to go home today. I'm sure he could use your prayers. I don't know much about his background, and am not sure it would be appropriate to share his name due to confidentiality laws. I just saw him get on the elevator to go home.
One of the hospitalists (A physician working in the hospital) came to visit Mom this morning. She is the doctor who examined Mom before the surgeon came in and shortly after that decided it was time to operate on Mom. At that time, Mom could hardly get out of bed. She thought Mom had made quite a bit of progress and didn't seem to think Mom would next an extreme amount of rehab. Someone told her that she'd probably be here 10 to 14 days, but one nurse told me some people are here for less time than that while others are here longer than that. The physician is concerned about the swelling in Mom's feet and legs so hopefully they will put Mom on some kind of water pill to take care of that. It is also disconcerting that they have to keep a close eye on Mom's blood sugar but the doctor (By the way, this doctor happens to be a woman. Something I think is worth mentioning, don't you?:) said that if she didn't have diabetes before her body should be able to regulate sugar later. The thing we don't know for certain is how long that will be. So we will continue to wait and take things a day at a time.
Have I mentioned that I am reading "Letters to God" to Mom at night. This is fun for me because it gives me a chance to continue practicing my acting skills. For those of you who don't know this, my students and Sinae think I'm quite an actor. Now, don't take this too seriously but it is a fun way to show the differences in intonation. On a more serious note, I find this book to be a means for me to think through the process I've seen with Mom. So far in the book, the father/husband was killed when he had a head-on collision with a drunk driver. In the book, his wife has a lot of questions about why this happened. I suppose that somewhere deep down inside, behind all the busyness of visiting Mom and helping out around home, there is this part of me who wonders this same thing.
Last night, I received grace by talking with Sinae. I find myself in constant bewilderment about how this relationship continues to take place. I am so grateful for the relationship I have with her. I don't think this is simply a case of me being grateful for a relationship with just any woman, but with one woman in particular. I like her approach to dealing with problems and her openness to having a relationship with me. If you know me at all, you know I'm not the easiest person to be around, what with all my seriousness and the many questions I have. Sometimes these questions scare her, but after thinking through things some, she comes around. She has been quite a blessing to me over the 8 or 9 months.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The last day on the surgical unit and then on to the rehab unit
Today was a much better day for Mom, which I think she deserves after a worrisome night wondering why she was bleeding so much. After pooping out some blood clots her bleeding stopped and the doctors think they just had her blood too thin.
Why might they be moving her, you ask? She went for a walk in the hall for the first time today and a CNA and I went with her on her second walk. She walked on her own with the walker while the CNA pushed her IV pole which is only holding the wound vac.
There is some question about which rehab unit Mom will go to. Whichever unit she is transferred to, we hope they will work with her several hours each day and that that will be her last stop before she goes home. But nonetheless, we are hopeful that the hospital staff is wise in their decisions and that Mom's progress will be slowly but surely.
I thought I would get Mom's pantry all organized this afternoon but for some reason I was lacking in energy this afternoon. I tried eating some "mini chimis" (Miniature chimichangas) which were apparently lacking in protein to my surprise. After taking a long nap (about an hour or so) I emptied out her pantry and am hoping to put everything away before I go to bed tonight. There are more things to do but I am getting things done one day at a time. Getting work done around the house (mobile home if you are talking to Dad) also gives me confidence and a nice break from sitting around most of the day.
Thanks for your comments, thoughts and prayers.
Why might they be moving her, you ask? She went for a walk in the hall for the first time today and a CNA and I went with her on her second walk. She walked on her own with the walker while the CNA pushed her IV pole which is only holding the wound vac.
There is some question about which rehab unit Mom will go to. Whichever unit she is transferred to, we hope they will work with her several hours each day and that that will be her last stop before she goes home. But nonetheless, we are hopeful that the hospital staff is wise in their decisions and that Mom's progress will be slowly but surely.
I thought I would get Mom's pantry all organized this afternoon but for some reason I was lacking in energy this afternoon. I tried eating some "mini chimis" (Miniature chimichangas) which were apparently lacking in protein to my surprise. After taking a long nap (about an hour or so) I emptied out her pantry and am hoping to put everything away before I go to bed tonight. There are more things to do but I am getting things done one day at a time. Getting work done around the house (mobile home if you are talking to Dad) also gives me confidence and a nice break from sitting around most of the day.
Thanks for your comments, thoughts and prayers.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
When things get bumpy...
Things were looking really good with Mom this morning. After getting 2 pints of blood last night she was stronger and she even walked to the bathroom mostly on her own. She felt a lot better after that. One of the CNAs said that she turned a major corner.
Then I went to get some TV dinners for the family business and that's when my wheels started squeaking somewhere. I stopped at Brakes Plus, which was on the way to Wal-Mart (Just so you know, I was spending someone else's money and they wanted me to go to Wal-Mart). They didn't have time to look at my car then so they recommended I make an appointment. I asked for a card and said I'd call later if I want to make an appointment. I proceeded on to Wal-Mart to buy 26 TV dinners. Mom tried calling me once but she couldn't hear me because of the bad reception (I still don't understand this concept after living in Korea). I proceeded to select TV dinners and as I was waiting to pay for the tv dinners Mom called me again and told me she was bleeding. I finished buying the food, called JoAnn to see what she thought I should do, and then I executively decided to put the food in the freezer and then come to the hospital.
When I got here, a doctor was examining Mom so the nurse asked me (More like, told me) to stay outside the room. He then contacted the surgeon (who by the way has a very good reputation among the nurses and the doctor who examined her today). We are waiting for the blood test and the surgeon to finish surgery (That is, we are waiting for the blood test results and we are waiting for the surgeon to finish doing surgery on a patient, just in case there are any wisenheimers out there).
Mom is feeling a little more relaxed after the nurse told her that when she used the restroom she only lost an amount of blood equivalent to a woman's period. This helped Mom relax some, though she is feeling pain like she felt before she had surgery.
Thanks for your prayers.
Then I went to get some TV dinners for the family business and that's when my wheels started squeaking somewhere. I stopped at Brakes Plus, which was on the way to Wal-Mart (Just so you know, I was spending someone else's money and they wanted me to go to Wal-Mart). They didn't have time to look at my car then so they recommended I make an appointment. I asked for a card and said I'd call later if I want to make an appointment. I proceeded on to Wal-Mart to buy 26 TV dinners. Mom tried calling me once but she couldn't hear me because of the bad reception (I still don't understand this concept after living in Korea). I proceeded to select TV dinners and as I was waiting to pay for the tv dinners Mom called me again and told me she was bleeding. I finished buying the food, called JoAnn to see what she thought I should do, and then I executively decided to put the food in the freezer and then come to the hospital.
When I got here, a doctor was examining Mom so the nurse asked me (More like, told me) to stay outside the room. He then contacted the surgeon (who by the way has a very good reputation among the nurses and the doctor who examined her today). We are waiting for the blood test and the surgeon to finish surgery (That is, we are waiting for the blood test results and we are waiting for the surgeon to finish doing surgery on a patient, just in case there are any wisenheimers out there).
Mom is feeling a little more relaxed after the nurse told her that when she used the restroom she only lost an amount of blood equivalent to a woman's period. This helped Mom relax some, though she is feeling pain like she felt before she had surgery.
Thanks for your prayers.
Monday, July 26, 2010
No move to therapy today, but maybe tomorrow.
We thought they might be moving Mom to the TCU (Transitional Care Unit) but they decided not to since Mom is still on a catheter and she is still using pain medicine through the IV. She needs to be more able to get up and walk to the bathroom in order to lose her catheter so hopefully they will get her to that point today. Otherwise Mom is doing well as far as her recovery is concerned.
Mom is a little discouraged because she is still not able to walk further than it takes to get to the chair. I, too, am a little frustrated with this unit because the surgeon put her here in order for them to get her up and going but they have been pretty easy on her. Last Thursday, nobody came from PT (Physical Therapy) and on Friday a woman who was 8 months pregnant came but she couldn't work with Mom other than telling Mom to do exercises with her legs because she is so far along in her pregnancy and she didn't come with another person who could help her with therapy. I told a nurse about that today and she was going to check into that. I'll be more than happy to help Mom along as far as walking is concerned. She stood for a long time yesterday with the help of a walker so I'm not seeing why they are taking things so easy with her. She has been sitting up in a chair quite a bit so I think she is getting stronger. She just needs more personal attention in my opinion. She didn't feel like getting up the first time in ICU but she had to because they made her.
I guess my job isn't to tell people what their job is. I'm just comparing with my own experience (granted I was about 40 years younger) and what I have heard from others. I saw an elderly woman walking with a therapist today in the therapy unit and I think Mom is in much better condition than her.
Sorry...there I go complaining again. I better follow my Uncle Leland's advice and focus on faith today. Faith in Mom's ability to recover, faith in the process (Sinae's favorite word), faith in those who are responsible for seeing Mom to good health, and of course, faith in God. It's just hard to see Mom as discouraged as she is. Nonetheless, she is doing a whole lot better than she was a week ago. We are just waiting in anticipation for the next step.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to get things rolling with getting things organized for when she does get home. Of course, I'd like to do basic cleaning like making sure all the newspapers have been recycles and that the bathroom and kitchen are clean. But I also want to organize her pantry, defrost her freezer in the kitchen, organize a drawer in the dining room and organize the cabinets in the bathroom. If we do all of these things, Mom will not be overwhelmed with the condition of her home and she will be able to focus on getting well. I'm also hoping Dad can get rid of a card table that he uses for doing some of his paperwork which will make it much easier for Mom to get around.
I think there are a lot of people who are ready, willing and able to help and I hope we can put all of them to good use. I just need to make a list of how we can best use you so that all of us feel satisfied and not frustrated. If you are able to tell me what you would like to do and when, I will try to work out a schedule so that your service to Mom is fulfilling and not too exhausting.
I am thankful for all of you (most of which are probably not reading this blog) for the ways you are expressing your concern to Mom. I think she is probably amazed at all the people who care for her. She couldn't believe that both of her brothers and their spouse and children (Jeff's children I mean) came 150 miles from their home to be with her and her family in the middle of harvest. I think she needs to be reminded of how important she is to all of us, including God himself.
Hmm...I feel much better now after focusing on the positive. While I am hanging around with Mom at the hospital I am thinking about lots of things. I'm thinking about my relationship with Sinae, how I can teach English better in South Korea, my life in South Korea, what it's like to be in America for longer than I have been for a while, and the mystery of me being so comfortable in the hospital. As you know, I have this crazy vision for helping those who can't help themselves and I see the hospital as one place that is doing that in the most amazing way. Interestingly enough, the hospital is an institution that probably has more politics than I could handle myself. So I am thinking about how this might be a place where I could help people. I could get involved in a hospital as a Chaplain, which wouldn't require more degrees or I could get involved in some other aspect of the hospital which may require another degree and might open more possibilities outside of the United States.
Right now, the most important thing to me is being with my mom and family now, but continuing my relationship with Sinae for a long time (my vote is forever) and to continue doing things outside of the United States while also visiting the US once or twice a year.
Sorry for the overload. I keep meaning to post more of my reflections about living in America. I'll try to do that soon.
Thanks for everything.
Mom is a little discouraged because she is still not able to walk further than it takes to get to the chair. I, too, am a little frustrated with this unit because the surgeon put her here in order for them to get her up and going but they have been pretty easy on her. Last Thursday, nobody came from PT (Physical Therapy) and on Friday a woman who was 8 months pregnant came but she couldn't work with Mom other than telling Mom to do exercises with her legs because she is so far along in her pregnancy and she didn't come with another person who could help her with therapy. I told a nurse about that today and she was going to check into that. I'll be more than happy to help Mom along as far as walking is concerned. She stood for a long time yesterday with the help of a walker so I'm not seeing why they are taking things so easy with her. She has been sitting up in a chair quite a bit so I think she is getting stronger. She just needs more personal attention in my opinion. She didn't feel like getting up the first time in ICU but she had to because they made her.
I guess my job isn't to tell people what their job is. I'm just comparing with my own experience (granted I was about 40 years younger) and what I have heard from others. I saw an elderly woman walking with a therapist today in the therapy unit and I think Mom is in much better condition than her.
Sorry...there I go complaining again. I better follow my Uncle Leland's advice and focus on faith today. Faith in Mom's ability to recover, faith in the process (Sinae's favorite word), faith in those who are responsible for seeing Mom to good health, and of course, faith in God. It's just hard to see Mom as discouraged as she is. Nonetheless, she is doing a whole lot better than she was a week ago. We are just waiting in anticipation for the next step.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to get things rolling with getting things organized for when she does get home. Of course, I'd like to do basic cleaning like making sure all the newspapers have been recycles and that the bathroom and kitchen are clean. But I also want to organize her pantry, defrost her freezer in the kitchen, organize a drawer in the dining room and organize the cabinets in the bathroom. If we do all of these things, Mom will not be overwhelmed with the condition of her home and she will be able to focus on getting well. I'm also hoping Dad can get rid of a card table that he uses for doing some of his paperwork which will make it much easier for Mom to get around.
I think there are a lot of people who are ready, willing and able to help and I hope we can put all of them to good use. I just need to make a list of how we can best use you so that all of us feel satisfied and not frustrated. If you are able to tell me what you would like to do and when, I will try to work out a schedule so that your service to Mom is fulfilling and not too exhausting.
I am thankful for all of you (most of which are probably not reading this blog) for the ways you are expressing your concern to Mom. I think she is probably amazed at all the people who care for her. She couldn't believe that both of her brothers and their spouse and children (Jeff's children I mean) came 150 miles from their home to be with her and her family in the middle of harvest. I think she needs to be reminded of how important she is to all of us, including God himself.
Hmm...I feel much better now after focusing on the positive. While I am hanging around with Mom at the hospital I am thinking about lots of things. I'm thinking about my relationship with Sinae, how I can teach English better in South Korea, my life in South Korea, what it's like to be in America for longer than I have been for a while, and the mystery of me being so comfortable in the hospital. As you know, I have this crazy vision for helping those who can't help themselves and I see the hospital as one place that is doing that in the most amazing way. Interestingly enough, the hospital is an institution that probably has more politics than I could handle myself. So I am thinking about how this might be a place where I could help people. I could get involved in a hospital as a Chaplain, which wouldn't require more degrees or I could get involved in some other aspect of the hospital which may require another degree and might open more possibilities outside of the United States.
Right now, the most important thing to me is being with my mom and family now, but continuing my relationship with Sinae for a long time (my vote is forever) and to continue doing things outside of the United States while also visiting the US once or twice a year.
Sorry for the overload. I keep meaning to post more of my reflections about living in America. I'll try to do that soon.
Thanks for everything.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Surgical Unit: Day 3
I'm sitting with Mom in her room on this Sunday morning. We are trying to find a good church service on TV but that's a little difficult. I may try to find something online.
Mom is continuing to make progress. She has been taken off of Heparin (blood thinner by IV) and is on Coumadin (the pill form of one type of blood thinner). She is eating regular meals provided by the hospital. She's still not able to walk on her own but she did use a walker yesterday with the assistance of nurses and I got to help another nurse get Mom out of bed yesterday. The most challenging part was dealing with all the lines for her medicine and wound vac.
I wasn't sure whether I should go to church this morning or not. Since I don't live here I feel like I can do Mom more good by being with her than by going to a church by myself or with a family where I don't know the people. Part of this is because I remember how hard it was to be alone during the time my family was at church when I was in the hospital with a ruptured appendicitis.
So far I have three followers leaving comments. I hope to add to that but am grateful for those of you following this blog.
God's Shalom!
Mom is continuing to make progress. She has been taken off of Heparin (blood thinner by IV) and is on Coumadin (the pill form of one type of blood thinner). She is eating regular meals provided by the hospital. She's still not able to walk on her own but she did use a walker yesterday with the assistance of nurses and I got to help another nurse get Mom out of bed yesterday. The most challenging part was dealing with all the lines for her medicine and wound vac.
I wasn't sure whether I should go to church this morning or not. Since I don't live here I feel like I can do Mom more good by being with her than by going to a church by myself or with a family where I don't know the people. Part of this is because I remember how hard it was to be alone during the time my family was at church when I was in the hospital with a ruptured appendicitis.
So far I have three followers leaving comments. I hope to add to that but am grateful for those of you following this blog.
God's Shalom!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Surgical Unit: Day 2
I've become a little disorganized about my blogging but hopefully it is still making sense. The surgeon who first met with Mom is covering for the surgeon who operated on Mom and saved Mom's life came to see Mom today. He remembered seeing Mom before they discovered the blood clot in her artery and the hole in her colon. I probably overstated how grateful we are to Dr. Burton without expressing gratitude to him for what Dr. Burton did. I hope I didn't sound like a cranky customer. I guess there is just a part of me that wonders how the hole in Mom's colon was missed when Dr. Burton (the surgeon who operated on Mom) found it. But I guess it is harder to read a CT scan than it seems to those of us who don't know the first thing about reading a CT scan.
The surgeon talked about putting Mom on a regular diet so hopefully they'll be experimenting with her diet today to see how she does. She hasn't been eating a lot so hopefully with some more appetizing food, she will start eating more. Her blood sugar has been going up and down but things are going well.
Mom's greatest desire is to start walking and hopefully that will happen as the fluid they pumped in through her veins comes out slowly but surely. Right now I'm going to visit another lady in the ICU with my grandpa. He's very good at making friends with a lot of different people.
Thanks for following Mom's journey and participating with us.
God's Shalom!
The surgeon talked about putting Mom on a regular diet so hopefully they'll be experimenting with her diet today to see how she does. She hasn't been eating a lot so hopefully with some more appetizing food, she will start eating more. Her blood sugar has been going up and down but things are going well.
Mom's greatest desire is to start walking and hopefully that will happen as the fluid they pumped in through her veins comes out slowly but surely. Right now I'm going to visit another lady in the ICU with my grandpa. He's very good at making friends with a lot of different people.
Thanks for following Mom's journey and participating with us.
God's Shalom!
Blood IS thicker than water.
It seems that I am learning a lot more about family after being in America for a bit longer than I anticipated. I have had problems with my only grandpa still living, whom I have always enjoyed being around, and the problem seems to be about money. I usually let him buy my meals since he is usually the one to invite me to meals and since I figure he has more money than I do. I also assume that since he is older than me and that since I have limited funds until I return to South Korea, he will be more than happy to buy the meals. The second issue is about the garage that I have used since I was old enough to drive a car. Regarding the first issue, it is not easy to convince Grandpa that I should buy the meal. He seems like he wants to but he often complains about how much more expensive the restaurants in my hometown are than they are in the city where he lives. This suggests to me that he doesn’t really want to do this so I think he should just do what he wants to do. The garage issue is a baffling one, one that comes up time and time again. Though it seemed he brought it up in a very passive-aggressive way, I decided I was tired of hearing him complain about it so I said I’d start paying the $9/month for electricity. Eventually he told me he didn’t like my attitude but we both agreed that I should go ahead and starting paying this part of the electricity. After all, I’m not paying any rent for use of the garage. Though yesterday was rough, today seems to have gone better.
I should’ve known this wouldn’t be the end of the family squabbles. I guess it started when I decided that after all the company Mom had today, she deserved to have a little rest and relaxation with her husband. So I opted to take my nieces into the nearby waiting room. I figured there might not be any people there, there would be plenty of space, it would be easier to keep them under control since they don’t listen to me all that well and I sure didn’t want to my mom to have more stress and have to get after them herself. I thought this was a good idea. Then when their mom came back, we went back with her into Mom’s room.
Now what happened after that I’m not quite sure about. I didn’t receive any information that might correct my negative thinking. All I have to go off of is vibes and the one thing I have learned from Sinae is that it is sometimes better to let someone be mad at me and wait for her/him to talk to me than to make the issue worse by bringing it up. So this is only my perception. Remember, I am an INTJ, NOT an INFJ, so I probably can’t feel very well.
That being said, it seems to me that my sister-in-law was bothered by the fact that I took her daughters away from their grandma whom they haven’t been able to see very much over the past week. She left me in charge of them while she went to change vehicles in case you were wondering why she left. I think she changed vehicles because her husband needed the car she was driving for a business appointment he had tonight.
My hint to this possible confrontation was when my sister-in-law asked my mom if she was burdened by her daughters being in the room with her. Then something seemed different about the way she communicated with me. I did get a response when I told one of her daughters she has a big belly. Apparently, this was one of those moments when I didn’t say everything I was thinking. What I was thinking is how concerned I am about her bloated belly and the fact that her stomach always seems to be bothering her. She seems to be a prime candidate for IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). When my sister-in-law said, “That’s not a very nice thing to say to girls”, I justified my action by saying, “It’s okay this time.” I didn’t really think about what I was saying when I said that. I think that’s probably something my brother and/or father might say. I wasn’t too happy about that thought. Then my other niece asked her mom as if I wasn’t in the room, “Why did he say that, Mommy?” Then I said I was concerned about her sister always having a bloated tummy but I suppose I didn’t communicate that very well.
So, now I guess I’ll wait to see what happens next in this family episode. My sister-in-law hasn’t been sleeping well these days for some reason. I suppose that could be taxing and could set her on edge to some extent. But I would imagine there is something that set her off when I took her girls into the waiting room around the corner from my mom’s room. And perhaps there was something else that caused this upset.
Whatever the answer to this perplexing situation, I suppose I should take a step back and try to look at things from a mother’s perspective and then I would like to return to my overwhelming question, “If family is important, so what?”
The thing I don’t know that might be telling as to why my nieces’ mother was upset, if she was in fact upset with me due to how I took care of her daughters while she was gone, taking the girls out of their grandma’s room while their parents were gone, is the feelings of the girls I was taking care of. My oldest niece didn’t seem to be bothered by my telling her that we were going to go to another room so that grandma can have some peace and quiet but my youngest niece didn’t seem to want to go. Nonetheless, neither of them cried and we had a fun time in the waiting room where we went. And I do believe I asked my mom if she’d like us to leave the room for a while so she and my dad could talk for a while. I do believe I had my mom’s best interests in mind, not the girls. Whoops. I’m supposed to see things from my sister-in-law’s side. The only thing I can come up with as to why she would be upset is if she felt like I was taking her daughters away from one of their grandma’s or if I was just power hungry and didn’t think about their grandma, them or my sister-in-law. I wonder what the big deal is. If someone puts someone else in charge, is it reasonable for the person who left to question the other person’s judgment, especially without saying a word about it to the person who was left in charge?
I do think my comment to my niece does deserve some negative criticism. If it were possible to say what I was thinking, I suppose I could’ve (I’m trying to get away from “should”) said, “It seems like your tummy is bloated (What is the equivalent of this that a 4 year-old would understand?). Does it seem like your tummy feels big when your tummy hurts the most (Again, I question how much of this is intelligible to a 4 year-old).” Then again, perhaps I should’ve just kept my thoughts to myself and talked to her parents about it later. I find this kind of situation hopeless no matter how one looks at it.
This is probably analogous of something I’ve been struggling with since Mom got sick. That is, “How can I help my family improve things for Mom?” I find myself sometimes trying to fix things that I can’t really fix. It seems that regarding one of my nieces, it is really none of my business how my brother and his wife deal with her, even though I think that one of their daughters has the same problem I have.
Now for the question about what to do about those members of society who are most important to us, our family. It seems to me that family is important to us. But what does that mean? Does that mean that we drop everything for them? Does that mean that we do things for them that we wouldn’t do for anyone else?
For me, the thing that makes friends, significant others or spouses so valuable is that we get to choose them. And if we don’t get along with those people we call our friends or whatever, we don’t have to continue relationships with them anymore. Sadly, at least in my family, this happens sometimes, too. I wonder if my family and I were only friends if we would still be friends. There is a part of me that is glad that family members are more sticktoitive than that. But then there is another part of me that is perplexed at these kinds of situations where it seems like we do things much more cautiously for the sake of having peace, rather than being more open as it seems I am with some of my closest friends who surely couldn’t be as close as family. But in my case, especially during my college and seminary years, my friends provided me with at least what appeared to be closer relationships. And yet, it is my family that I meet most often when I come home from another country.
Lest this blog suggest that this question is closed by ending in a statement, this subject is not closed. And perhaps it would do me well to think seriously about the difference between friends and family. Do friends fill the void that family members sometimes leave or are they merely the most plausible substitute for a void that only family can fill?
I should’ve known this wouldn’t be the end of the family squabbles. I guess it started when I decided that after all the company Mom had today, she deserved to have a little rest and relaxation with her husband. So I opted to take my nieces into the nearby waiting room. I figured there might not be any people there, there would be plenty of space, it would be easier to keep them under control since they don’t listen to me all that well and I sure didn’t want to my mom to have more stress and have to get after them herself. I thought this was a good idea. Then when their mom came back, we went back with her into Mom’s room.
Now what happened after that I’m not quite sure about. I didn’t receive any information that might correct my negative thinking. All I have to go off of is vibes and the one thing I have learned from Sinae is that it is sometimes better to let someone be mad at me and wait for her/him to talk to me than to make the issue worse by bringing it up. So this is only my perception. Remember, I am an INTJ, NOT an INFJ, so I probably can’t feel very well.
That being said, it seems to me that my sister-in-law was bothered by the fact that I took her daughters away from their grandma whom they haven’t been able to see very much over the past week. She left me in charge of them while she went to change vehicles in case you were wondering why she left. I think she changed vehicles because her husband needed the car she was driving for a business appointment he had tonight.
My hint to this possible confrontation was when my sister-in-law asked my mom if she was burdened by her daughters being in the room with her. Then something seemed different about the way she communicated with me. I did get a response when I told one of her daughters she has a big belly. Apparently, this was one of those moments when I didn’t say everything I was thinking. What I was thinking is how concerned I am about her bloated belly and the fact that her stomach always seems to be bothering her. She seems to be a prime candidate for IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). When my sister-in-law said, “That’s not a very nice thing to say to girls”, I justified my action by saying, “It’s okay this time.” I didn’t really think about what I was saying when I said that. I think that’s probably something my brother and/or father might say. I wasn’t too happy about that thought. Then my other niece asked her mom as if I wasn’t in the room, “Why did he say that, Mommy?” Then I said I was concerned about her sister always having a bloated tummy but I suppose I didn’t communicate that very well.
So, now I guess I’ll wait to see what happens next in this family episode. My sister-in-law hasn’t been sleeping well these days for some reason. I suppose that could be taxing and could set her on edge to some extent. But I would imagine there is something that set her off when I took her girls into the waiting room around the corner from my mom’s room. And perhaps there was something else that caused this upset.
Whatever the answer to this perplexing situation, I suppose I should take a step back and try to look at things from a mother’s perspective and then I would like to return to my overwhelming question, “If family is important, so what?”
The thing I don’t know that might be telling as to why my nieces’ mother was upset, if she was in fact upset with me due to how I took care of her daughters while she was gone, taking the girls out of their grandma’s room while their parents were gone, is the feelings of the girls I was taking care of. My oldest niece didn’t seem to be bothered by my telling her that we were going to go to another room so that grandma can have some peace and quiet but my youngest niece didn’t seem to want to go. Nonetheless, neither of them cried and we had a fun time in the waiting room where we went. And I do believe I asked my mom if she’d like us to leave the room for a while so she and my dad could talk for a while. I do believe I had my mom’s best interests in mind, not the girls. Whoops. I’m supposed to see things from my sister-in-law’s side. The only thing I can come up with as to why she would be upset is if she felt like I was taking her daughters away from one of their grandma’s or if I was just power hungry and didn’t think about their grandma, them or my sister-in-law. I wonder what the big deal is. If someone puts someone else in charge, is it reasonable for the person who left to question the other person’s judgment, especially without saying a word about it to the person who was left in charge?
I do think my comment to my niece does deserve some negative criticism. If it were possible to say what I was thinking, I suppose I could’ve (I’m trying to get away from “should”) said, “It seems like your tummy is bloated (What is the equivalent of this that a 4 year-old would understand?). Does it seem like your tummy feels big when your tummy hurts the most (Again, I question how much of this is intelligible to a 4 year-old).” Then again, perhaps I should’ve just kept my thoughts to myself and talked to her parents about it later. I find this kind of situation hopeless no matter how one looks at it.
This is probably analogous of something I’ve been struggling with since Mom got sick. That is, “How can I help my family improve things for Mom?” I find myself sometimes trying to fix things that I can’t really fix. It seems that regarding one of my nieces, it is really none of my business how my brother and his wife deal with her, even though I think that one of their daughters has the same problem I have.
Now for the question about what to do about those members of society who are most important to us, our family. It seems to me that family is important to us. But what does that mean? Does that mean that we drop everything for them? Does that mean that we do things for them that we wouldn’t do for anyone else?
For me, the thing that makes friends, significant others or spouses so valuable is that we get to choose them. And if we don’t get along with those people we call our friends or whatever, we don’t have to continue relationships with them anymore. Sadly, at least in my family, this happens sometimes, too. I wonder if my family and I were only friends if we would still be friends. There is a part of me that is glad that family members are more sticktoitive than that. But then there is another part of me that is perplexed at these kinds of situations where it seems like we do things much more cautiously for the sake of having peace, rather than being more open as it seems I am with some of my closest friends who surely couldn’t be as close as family. But in my case, especially during my college and seminary years, my friends provided me with at least what appeared to be closer relationships. And yet, it is my family that I meet most often when I come home from another country.
Lest this blog suggest that this question is closed by ending in a statement, this subject is not closed. And perhaps it would do me well to think seriously about the difference between friends and family. Do friends fill the void that family members sometimes leave or are they merely the most plausible substitute for a void that only family can fill?
Friday, July 23, 2010
ICU No More
I'm sorry for the late update. I worked on a long letter to Sinae yesterday which occupied most of my time. We received good news from the surgeon yesterday that Mom would be transferred out of ICU and that she could try liquids. Mom just ordered lunch and they said she could have soup. The Physical Therapist recommended that Mom go to the physical therapy unit before going home. It sounds like they may transfer her there by the weekend or early next week and then after she is there for a week she may be able to go home.
Mom is coming right along, recovering from all the drugs in her system, a lot less blunt, and is freely using the telephone. All of the things unique to Mom's personality are coming alive. She even played Old Maid with JoAnn (My sister-in-law), Emma and Tammy (Mom's granddaughters) and she seemed to do fairly well. She was happy that yesterday went faster than the day before and she slept well until 3 am.
Mom's legs still feel a little bit rubbery so that part of her is still uncomfortable. I guess that is to be expected after lying in bed for nearly a week without any movement outside of the bed. I suspect they will try to get her walking at least to a chair in her room by the end of the day. They had her sitting at the side of her bed two times and a nurse stood with her the third time while they did some maintenance on her catheter.
Right now she and Grandpa seem to be having a normal conversation in her room. The surgeon told me that she thinks Mom is doing very well so this is good news to me. Mom had to have the gauze on her wound vac replaced for the second time and she said it went better than the first time. Mom had a temperature last night but they seemed to nip that in the bud with a little more antibiotic.
Mom is at the stage where she seems able to have conversation very comfortably so if you are in the area and have the time, feel free to drop by.
Thanks for all your prayers, support and the time you give to think about Mom.
Mom is coming right along, recovering from all the drugs in her system, a lot less blunt, and is freely using the telephone. All of the things unique to Mom's personality are coming alive. She even played Old Maid with JoAnn (My sister-in-law), Emma and Tammy (Mom's granddaughters) and she seemed to do fairly well. She was happy that yesterday went faster than the day before and she slept well until 3 am.
Mom's legs still feel a little bit rubbery so that part of her is still uncomfortable. I guess that is to be expected after lying in bed for nearly a week without any movement outside of the bed. I suspect they will try to get her walking at least to a chair in her room by the end of the day. They had her sitting at the side of her bed two times and a nurse stood with her the third time while they did some maintenance on her catheter.
Right now she and Grandpa seem to be having a normal conversation in her room. The surgeon told me that she thinks Mom is doing very well so this is good news to me. Mom had to have the gauze on her wound vac replaced for the second time and she said it went better than the first time. Mom had a temperature last night but they seemed to nip that in the bud with a little more antibiotic.
Mom is at the stage where she seems able to have conversation very comfortably so if you are in the area and have the time, feel free to drop by.
Thanks for all your prayers, support and the time you give to think about Mom.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
ICU: Day 4
Mom continues to show signs of improvement. They took the tube out of her that keeps her from vomiting after they clamped it and found it wasn't gathering much liquid. The doctors and nurses continue to give good reports in spite of the pain that she is feeling. Right now she is moaning because of all the pain she is feeling. Although they've given her a button to push for when she needs more pain medicine, I'm hoping they'll be giving her more pain medicine in a minute (aka booster).
The physical therapist started working with Mom today but decided not to take Mom out of bed because she is so weak. So she had Mom doing hand and foot exercises and brought her up to 60 degrees. That hurt to do that and then of course when they replaced the wound vac gauze, which they have to do three times a week as opposed to two times a day with gauze pad when I had a ruptured appendicitis, they laid her flat. That caused a lot of pain because of all those muscles that were cut through for the surgery.
She's been moaning because of all the pain she's been in but they just repositioned her and she said that's better. Now she doesn't seem to be moaning quite as much but she is still moaning some. I guess it might just take some time.
When they removed the gauze one of the technicians thought she might be in a different unit by Friday. That sounds good though I'm not taking that too seriously. The day nurse, Linda, said that she's not ready to be dismissed from ICU just yet. She still seems to be struggling with her breathing. Still, people are saying she's getting better every day, in spite of the way Mom feels.
Thanks for your continuous thoughts and prayers. See you next time. Don't forget to leave us a comment or question.
The physical therapist started working with Mom today but decided not to take Mom out of bed because she is so weak. So she had Mom doing hand and foot exercises and brought her up to 60 degrees. That hurt to do that and then of course when they replaced the wound vac gauze, which they have to do three times a week as opposed to two times a day with gauze pad when I had a ruptured appendicitis, they laid her flat. That caused a lot of pain because of all those muscles that were cut through for the surgery.
She's been moaning because of all the pain she's been in but they just repositioned her and she said that's better. Now she doesn't seem to be moaning quite as much but she is still moaning some. I guess it might just take some time.
When they removed the gauze one of the technicians thought she might be in a different unit by Friday. That sounds good though I'm not taking that too seriously. The day nurse, Linda, said that she's not ready to be dismissed from ICU just yet. She still seems to be struggling with her breathing. Still, people are saying she's getting better every day, in spite of the way Mom feels.
Thanks for your continuous thoughts and prayers. See you next time. Don't forget to leave us a comment or question.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Breathing Machine Has Been Removed
Today started off with a bang, as you may have sensed from my previous blog. As they suggested might happen, after weaning Mom off the machine and doing some breathing tests, they decided it was time to take the breathing machine off of Mom. After this, her voice was hoarse and she wasn't able to say much. But she did eventually say, "I'm alive" five times to Grandpa and I. She and Dad were able to have their first long conversation since Mom went into the OR.
Mom is having a little trouble breathing since they took her off the breathing machine. I'm learning that "is this normal?" is the wrong question to ask in situations like these. I guess it is possible that Mom is having to rebuild her strength to breathe on her own though nobody knows this for sure. The nurse gave Mom some breathing medicine that is supposed to remove the fluid from Mom's lungs and I suspect that the blood clot near her lungs is also making it a little difficult to breathe.
In spite of this, I think we can still give thanks for the progress Mom is making while also recognizing that she has a long road ahead of her. The nurses also keep reminding us to take a day at a time. They talked about having Mom walk sometime today but perhaps they will wait until Mom gets her breathing under control. I DO think that would be a good idea, though I also know getting Mom out of bed is important to prevent her from getting adhesions and it's just better for her overall once she is able to manage that.
One of Mom's friends came to be a blessing to Mom and apparently struck some nerves (I mean this in a positive) as she talked about the importance of facing the why questions that we all have while also recognizing we may not always find answers to these questions. I noticed that Mom cried some during this time and I was very grateful to Mom's friend (Let's call her Carol because...that's her name).
Hopefully many more (Perhaps those of you reading this blog) will also be able to come and visit her soon. I'll let you know when this happens. Meanwhile, please pray for Mom as she continues to heal that Providence will continue to guide Mom's healing process, not just her physical well-being but also her spiritual and emotional well-being, too.
God's Shalom!
Mom is having a little trouble breathing since they took her off the breathing machine. I'm learning that "is this normal?" is the wrong question to ask in situations like these. I guess it is possible that Mom is having to rebuild her strength to breathe on her own though nobody knows this for sure. The nurse gave Mom some breathing medicine that is supposed to remove the fluid from Mom's lungs and I suspect that the blood clot near her lungs is also making it a little difficult to breathe.
In spite of this, I think we can still give thanks for the progress Mom is making while also recognizing that she has a long road ahead of her. The nurses also keep reminding us to take a day at a time. They talked about having Mom walk sometime today but perhaps they will wait until Mom gets her breathing under control. I DO think that would be a good idea, though I also know getting Mom out of bed is important to prevent her from getting adhesions and it's just better for her overall once she is able to manage that.
One of Mom's friends came to be a blessing to Mom and apparently struck some nerves (I mean this in a positive) as she talked about the importance of facing the why questions that we all have while also recognizing we may not always find answers to these questions. I noticed that Mom cried some during this time and I was very grateful to Mom's friend (Let's call her Carol because...that's her name).
Hopefully many more (Perhaps those of you reading this blog) will also be able to come and visit her soon. I'll let you know when this happens. Meanwhile, please pray for Mom as she continues to heal that Providence will continue to guide Mom's healing process, not just her physical well-being but also her spiritual and emotional well-being, too.
God's Shalom!
ICU: Day 3...Help is on the way
My spirits are much higher today than they were yesterday at this time. When I came in to visit Mom with my grandpa the nurse told us Mom's blood pressure is up which is a very good thing because only with medicine were they able to keep her blood pressure up to normal. I can't help but think it had something to do with Dad coming into the room to visit and speaking to Mom. He even gave her a kiss which I think she deserved after all she's done for us, not to mention all the things she's been through.
They have started to wean her off of the breathing machine and she seems to be doing quite well. When they moved her she was breathing heavier but the nurse said that was to be expected in light of the fact that they were moving her and we all breathe harder when we are exercising.
I don't know what else to say. When I first came in yesterday morning I was a bit discouraged until the anesthesiologist came in and assured us she would be fine but that this would be a tough week. Grandpa and Dad thought they saw change yesterday and it seems like there is more positive change today.
I just want to say thank you again for all the prayers, phone calls, thoughts, concerns and support we have received from our family and friends. Mom is making progress but she still has a long road ahead of her.
It pleases me that Mom is smiling more today, particularly with her eyes. As her cousin Ardis has said, that's the real Marilyn.
My spirits are high. Please leave a comment to let me know your thoughts on all of this and continue to pass this on to the whole world. I am so thankful every day that I get to spend time with Mom and I hope we don't take her for granted every again.
They have started to wean her off of the breathing machine and she seems to be doing quite well. When they moved her she was breathing heavier but the nurse said that was to be expected in light of the fact that they were moving her and we all breathe harder when we are exercising.
I don't know what else to say. When I first came in yesterday morning I was a bit discouraged until the anesthesiologist came in and assured us she would be fine but that this would be a tough week. Grandpa and Dad thought they saw change yesterday and it seems like there is more positive change today.
I just want to say thank you again for all the prayers, phone calls, thoughts, concerns and support we have received from our family and friends. Mom is making progress but she still has a long road ahead of her.
It pleases me that Mom is smiling more today, particularly with her eyes. As her cousin Ardis has said, that's the real Marilyn.
My spirits are high. Please leave a comment to let me know your thoughts on all of this and continue to pass this on to the whole world. I am so thankful every day that I get to spend time with Mom and I hope we don't take her for granted every again.
Monday, July 19, 2010
ICU: Day 2
Mom is still in ICU for the second full day (presuming she stays there until tonight) and they are not going to take her off of the breathing machine because her blood pressure is still too low without medicine. I had to come into the waiting room while they put a wound vac on her to suck out all of the stool and other bad stuff from her belly cavity. They can do this because they didn't close her incision when they operated.
I was a little disheartened when the nurse who is working with Mom for the first time (for her) said that Mom is no worse. I heard that before she went into surgery. Then I was encouraged when the anesthesiologist came into the room. I remembered him from when he came into the room before surgery and told us that the surgery was very risky and that we could lose her in the OR. Now I know that he is very direct. He said that Mom was stable during the surgery (I'm proud of my mom who was very strong even during this difficult time with her health) and that she will make it through this though this week will be very tough for her. That took away the tears from my eyes for the time being. Nonetheless, I'm choosing to believe that things are going to work out. I seem to hear a constant reminder from God to trust God in spite of these difficulties and not to forget the vow I made to live my life differently as a result of all of this.
My mind is very much at ease now that I have decided to stick around here at least until August. I hate being so far away from Sinae but I can't hardly pull myself away from my mom. I was blessed by Sinae's brother, Siwon who wrote me an e-mail practically ordering me to stay with my mom and family during this time of need and NOT to return to Korea until Mom is better.
It's time for lunch. I'll be posting more by tomorrow. Feel free to pass this blog onto people as you wish. We need all the prayer and support we can get. We are grateful to God and the grace God is giving us in many different forms.
I was a little disheartened when the nurse who is working with Mom for the first time (for her) said that Mom is no worse. I heard that before she went into surgery. Then I was encouraged when the anesthesiologist came into the room. I remembered him from when he came into the room before surgery and told us that the surgery was very risky and that we could lose her in the OR. Now I know that he is very direct. He said that Mom was stable during the surgery (I'm proud of my mom who was very strong even during this difficult time with her health) and that she will make it through this though this week will be very tough for her. That took away the tears from my eyes for the time being. Nonetheless, I'm choosing to believe that things are going to work out. I seem to hear a constant reminder from God to trust God in spite of these difficulties and not to forget the vow I made to live my life differently as a result of all of this.
My mind is very much at ease now that I have decided to stick around here at least until August. I hate being so far away from Sinae but I can't hardly pull myself away from my mom. I was blessed by Sinae's brother, Siwon who wrote me an e-mail practically ordering me to stay with my mom and family during this time of need and NOT to return to Korea until Mom is better.
It's time for lunch. I'll be posting more by tomorrow. Feel free to pass this blog onto people as you wish. We need all the prayer and support we can get. We are grateful to God and the grace God is giving us in many different forms.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
ICU: Day 1
I came to visit Mom this morning with my maternal grandpa. We stayed here until lunchtime and then joined JoAnn, Bruce, Emma and Tammy (my brother and his family) for lunch. Dad came along to drink a glass of Pepsi and finish off the hamburger that Emma didn't want to finish. After that we came to the hospital and I was surprised to see my mom's cousin Yolanda and her husband Clayton come along to visit. Then Sharon and LeRoy (Mom's younger but not youngest brother and his wife) came along. Katie (my cousin, their daughter) joined them during her lunch break. She might come back tonight with her husband, Ivan.
The report on Mom is that her vitals are good and she is doing better than the surgeon expected her to do. She is still on the breathing machine which they will continue until her breathing is better. She is breathing fast right now, perhaps because of the blood clot. But all in all, the report on her is good. The nurse thinks she is strong and that Mom will make a full recovery.
I would imagine that the most difficult part for Mom is not being able to communicate with us (i.e. talk) though she can understand what we are saying and nod up and down. I would imagine the second hardest thing for her is not being able to serve herself. And perhaps the third hardest thing is asking for more pain medicine when she is hurting. After that, it is difficult for her not to bite down on the breathing tube. I think they are beginning to suspect that they need to give her more medicine when this happens. She had some problems earlier but now she is doing well.
I was blessed to have my Aunt Sharon ask me how I am doing. For me, I am thankful that Mom is still alive. Even though she has tubes going every which way, I am hopeful that she will come through. I did cry for about an hour last night as I remembered all the trauma I've seen Mom go through. I trust these are tears of joy in gratitude for the fact that Mom survived two significant ordeals that seemed to be life-threatening to some extent.
I hesitate to talk about how we are dealing with this as a family but I think it might be helpful to write this down and come to a better understanding of my own thinking and perhaps you can tell me where I am wrong in my thinking. It seems that some of my family is less optimistic. Mom's cousin Ardis suggested this is because they didn't see Mom when her blood clot apparently moved (aka the afternoon episode that seemed like ER central where Mom's heart rate and temperature shot through the roof as she shivered so bad that the bed was shaking). Or perhaps it is just difficult to see Mom in this condition.
For some reason, I am drawn to spending a lot of time with Mom in the hospital. I can't imagine any place I'd rather be and I think it does Mom good to show that she is important enough to spend time with her above all else. Not only that, but I remember when I was sick in the hospital and how difficult it was when my family wasn't around and I got edgy as I wondered when they were going to come. Meanwhile, other family members spend some time with her and go about their other duties. I'm probably not being fair in my expectation that they should be here more since I have little to no responsibility. I am just so thankful to have Mom around and I think we can (I said should but I'm trying to change my thinking with this word) show her our appreciation and love by spending a lot of time here. Now surely I am in the wrong in my thinking, aren't I?
I guess everything is what it is. Surely Mom has a sweet deal with some family members who want to spend a little time with her and one who can't do anything else. I heard a lot about "ministry of presence" in seminary and I find that we can do what we need to do here while keeping Mom company while she gets better.
The report on Mom is that her vitals are good and she is doing better than the surgeon expected her to do. She is still on the breathing machine which they will continue until her breathing is better. She is breathing fast right now, perhaps because of the blood clot. But all in all, the report on her is good. The nurse thinks she is strong and that Mom will make a full recovery.
I would imagine that the most difficult part for Mom is not being able to communicate with us (i.e. talk) though she can understand what we are saying and nod up and down. I would imagine the second hardest thing for her is not being able to serve herself. And perhaps the third hardest thing is asking for more pain medicine when she is hurting. After that, it is difficult for her not to bite down on the breathing tube. I think they are beginning to suspect that they need to give her more medicine when this happens. She had some problems earlier but now she is doing well.
I was blessed to have my Aunt Sharon ask me how I am doing. For me, I am thankful that Mom is still alive. Even though she has tubes going every which way, I am hopeful that she will come through. I did cry for about an hour last night as I remembered all the trauma I've seen Mom go through. I trust these are tears of joy in gratitude for the fact that Mom survived two significant ordeals that seemed to be life-threatening to some extent.
I hesitate to talk about how we are dealing with this as a family but I think it might be helpful to write this down and come to a better understanding of my own thinking and perhaps you can tell me where I am wrong in my thinking. It seems that some of my family is less optimistic. Mom's cousin Ardis suggested this is because they didn't see Mom when her blood clot apparently moved (aka the afternoon episode that seemed like ER central where Mom's heart rate and temperature shot through the roof as she shivered so bad that the bed was shaking). Or perhaps it is just difficult to see Mom in this condition.
For some reason, I am drawn to spending a lot of time with Mom in the hospital. I can't imagine any place I'd rather be and I think it does Mom good to show that she is important enough to spend time with her above all else. Not only that, but I remember when I was sick in the hospital and how difficult it was when my family wasn't around and I got edgy as I wondered when they were going to come. Meanwhile, other family members spend some time with her and go about their other duties. I'm probably not being fair in my expectation that they should be here more since I have little to no responsibility. I am just so thankful to have Mom around and I think we can (I said should but I'm trying to change my thinking with this word) show her our appreciation and love by spending a lot of time here. Now surely I am in the wrong in my thinking, aren't I?
I guess everything is what it is. Surely Mom has a sweet deal with some family members who want to spend a little time with her and one who can't do anything else. I heard a lot about "ministry of presence" in seminary and I find that we can do what we need to do here while keeping Mom company while she gets better.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
She's Fine
I am pleased to share the good news that Mom came through the surgery in better condition than the surgeon expected. I would like to make mention of the fact that the surgeon is a woman. What a great thing for a woman to not only be able to have this kind of job but also to be superior at her job. I wish we would've given her applause for the work she did. But I guess we were so numb from everything that we were just glad she came through.
She still has the blood clot and she will be put on blood thinner for the next 6 months and after that they will remove the bag and connect the two pieces of her large intestine. The surgeon removed approximately one foot of Mom's large intestine and said that once Mom recovers she expects Mom to live a normal life, perhaps more normal than she did before.
She is in ICU now and she will hopefully be awake tomorrow morning. Dad and Bruce are in there now. I feel like I should sing the Hallelujah chorus, though the battle is not over. However, this is a HUGE victory. And I am thankful to God for hearing the prayers of many a people, a true testimony of God's love, grace, and forgiveness. I think Mom went into surgery feeling guilty for not taking care of her body and I trust she's going to wake up with gratitude for the grace to experience a second chance at life. She does have a long road and I trust that we will all remember that along the way.
I think that while I sing the Hallelujah chorus I'm going to shed tears of joy and thankfulness for this second chance at life and I intend to live my life differently and love my mother deeper than ever before.
She still has the blood clot and she will be put on blood thinner for the next 6 months and after that they will remove the bag and connect the two pieces of her large intestine. The surgeon removed approximately one foot of Mom's large intestine and said that once Mom recovers she expects Mom to live a normal life, perhaps more normal than she did before.
She is in ICU now and she will hopefully be awake tomorrow morning. Dad and Bruce are in there now. I feel like I should sing the Hallelujah chorus, though the battle is not over. However, this is a HUGE victory. And I am thankful to God for hearing the prayers of many a people, a true testimony of God's love, grace, and forgiveness. I think Mom went into surgery feeling guilty for not taking care of her body and I trust she's going to wake up with gratitude for the grace to experience a second chance at life. She does have a long road and I trust that we will all remember that along the way.
I think that while I sing the Hallelujah chorus I'm going to shed tears of joy and thankfulness for this second chance at life and I intend to live my life differently and love my mother deeper than ever before.
Waiting is SO much fun!
Well, here I am with my family in the waiting room. My mom is being prep'd for an hour surgery with a six-hour waiting time. The anesthesiologist told her that there is a risk in doing surgery with a blood clot so we did some crying hopefully in faith that Mom will make it through. An hour can't be aaaall that bad, can it? I believe, I believe, I believe...
As I am experiencing this moment, my greatest guilt is taking Mom for granted. Mom is not the most dynamic person in the world but she has a heart of gold that leads her into a virtuous life. I remember many times when she helped me with homework until the wee hours of the morning. Of course there were the times when she got mad at me for waiting too long to do my homework.
Then there is the peacemaker side of her. Sometimes she doesn't say much when she disagrees with someone, which makes family members a little confused at times but everybody knows the reason is that she doesn't want to get into an argument with someone. The funny thing is that my girlfriend Sinae thinks this is a good thing. Of course there is a time for disagreeing which Mom does in her own way. Anyway, the point is that Mom is a peacemaker and that IS her greatest virtue.
It saddens me that Mom is kicking herself for not taking care of herself as far as a proper diet is concerned. I think it is very difficult to eat a high-fiber diet in America. And the problem is that it could have just flared up. And if she was at fault, it would seem that the doctors are equally at fault for sending her home two times from the emergency and a physician who turned her away numerous times. Or perhaps there is some truth to the other side of my thinking, that maybe there was nothing they could've done differently. I'm having a hard time believing that right now.
I didn't realize how risky the surgery was until now. There will be a second surgery 6 months after this one, so they can connect her colon again. And there is also the possibility that Mom could be better, the same or worse after surgery. But if she doesn't have the surgery, she will eventually lose to the infection.
It's funny how one's thinking changes in moments like these. I found myself submitting to a smorgasboard of theologies: Free Church, High Church, Protestant, Catholic, Lutheran. Dad liked my prayer except at the end when I went all liturgical and Trinitarian. I guess that was too "Lutheran" for him. That's okay.
I'm feeling better after writing a little bit, except when I think about what is really at stake here. And that scares me to death. Nonetheless, I choose to believe. I was hoping the doctor would come while I was writing this but I guess I don't have that many thoughts. Thanks for suffering through this long blog. I'll post the results as soon as the doctor comes and tells us something. Meanwhile, please eat right and don't let the doctor send you home sick. And above all else, treasure ALL the relationships you have and don't take those closest to you for granted. Thanks for all you are doing for my family and I.
God's Everlasting Shalom!
As I am experiencing this moment, my greatest guilt is taking Mom for granted. Mom is not the most dynamic person in the world but she has a heart of gold that leads her into a virtuous life. I remember many times when she helped me with homework until the wee hours of the morning. Of course there were the times when she got mad at me for waiting too long to do my homework.
Then there is the peacemaker side of her. Sometimes she doesn't say much when she disagrees with someone, which makes family members a little confused at times but everybody knows the reason is that she doesn't want to get into an argument with someone. The funny thing is that my girlfriend Sinae thinks this is a good thing. Of course there is a time for disagreeing which Mom does in her own way. Anyway, the point is that Mom is a peacemaker and that IS her greatest virtue.
It saddens me that Mom is kicking herself for not taking care of herself as far as a proper diet is concerned. I think it is very difficult to eat a high-fiber diet in America. And the problem is that it could have just flared up. And if she was at fault, it would seem that the doctors are equally at fault for sending her home two times from the emergency and a physician who turned her away numerous times. Or perhaps there is some truth to the other side of my thinking, that maybe there was nothing they could've done differently. I'm having a hard time believing that right now.
I didn't realize how risky the surgery was until now. There will be a second surgery 6 months after this one, so they can connect her colon again. And there is also the possibility that Mom could be better, the same or worse after surgery. But if she doesn't have the surgery, she will eventually lose to the infection.
It's funny how one's thinking changes in moments like these. I found myself submitting to a smorgasboard of theologies: Free Church, High Church, Protestant, Catholic, Lutheran. Dad liked my prayer except at the end when I went all liturgical and Trinitarian. I guess that was too "Lutheran" for him. That's okay.
I'm feeling better after writing a little bit, except when I think about what is really at stake here. And that scares me to death. Nonetheless, I choose to believe. I was hoping the doctor would come while I was writing this but I guess I don't have that many thoughts. Thanks for suffering through this long blog. I'll post the results as soon as the doctor comes and tells us something. Meanwhile, please eat right and don't let the doctor send you home sick. And above all else, treasure ALL the relationships you have and don't take those closest to you for granted. Thanks for all you are doing for my family and I.
God's Everlasting Shalom!
Update on Mom
After hearing one doctor tell Mom that she is doing okay the surgeon found something in the CT Angiogram that there is a puncture in Mom's colon so they are going to operate as soon as possible. But first they have to stop the blood thinner they've been using on the blood clot. It seems that Mom will have to use a bag for 6 months while her colon heals.
I'm writing this as we wait with her in her hospital room. Thank you for your prayers and concern.
I'm writing this as we wait with her in her hospital room. Thank you for your prayers and concern.
All night in the hospital
I spent the night in the hospital last night with Mom. They moved her to a unit that specializes in watching peoples' hearts because they found that Mom has a blood clot in the artery that goes to her lungs. This is not the only issue and that in no way takes care of her diverticulitis. But apparently they are giving the blood clot priority at this point.
I slept in Mom's room last night and she did pretty well. Her heart is beating so fast that she can hear it in her ears but the nurse assured her that her vital signs are good. Her blood pressure was also higher than before so I think that is a good sign as well.
This is her third day in the hospital so she is anticipating a depressing day. If you are able to visit or send her a card, flowers or whatever I know she would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support.
I slept in Mom's room last night and she did pretty well. Her heart is beating so fast that she can hear it in her ears but the nurse assured her that her vital signs are good. Her blood pressure was also higher than before so I think that is a good sign as well.
This is her third day in the hospital so she is anticipating a depressing day. If you are able to visit or send her a card, flowers or whatever I know she would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support.
Friday, July 16, 2010
My Mom
I'm writing about my mom because her health has suddenly taken a turn for the worse. Of course we are hopeful that she will come out stronger on the other side but we would covet your prayers during this time. I'll try to post updates as they become available.
The reason Mom is in the hospital is something called, "diverticulitis". As you may know, this is the infected (though her white blood count doesn't seem to be up yet) form of diverticulosis. She had an episode of chills, a high fever and a rapid heartbeat, but thankfully she came through that. She is waiting on tests to see whether or not she needs to go to ICU.
I'll try to post more after we find out more. Thanks for your prayers and feel free to call us about visiting her as you are available.
The reason Mom is in the hospital is something called, "diverticulitis". As you may know, this is the infected (though her white blood count doesn't seem to be up yet) form of diverticulosis. She had an episode of chills, a high fever and a rapid heartbeat, but thankfully she came through that. She is waiting on tests to see whether or not she needs to go to ICU.
I'll try to post more after we find out more. Thanks for your prayers and feel free to call us about visiting her as you are available.
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