Today isn't such a good day for Mom, at least not this morning. After they came in to change Mom's sponge, she threw up. Mom thinks they may have put too much pressure on her stomach, which they may not have been able to help. One person also asked another if she cut a stitch. Mom didn't think that sounded like a good thing.
Apparently, we are still waiting for them to figure things out with the wound vac. They have also indicated the possibility that Mom might have stress-induced diabetes type 2. As of yet, they don't have any reliable tests because Mom has been on insulin most of the time she has been here. We are hoping her body begins to regulate her sugar properly as she continues to heal and has less and less stress. I guess that means we have to make sure not to give her stress at home.
I'm a little worried about what's going to happen when Mom goes home and when I go to South Korea. Dad isn't the best at cooking or cleaning. He is usually in the paperwork zone, almost oblivious to the condition of the house. I've taken four cold showers this week because Bruce hasn't been able to (or hasn't received the orders) fix the water heater. Dad told JoAnn we don't need any help cleaning at home but I could use the help. Nevertheless I figured it would be a good lesson for Dad to get what he wants. It's his house so he should be able to have the right to manage it the way he wants.
JoAnn thinks I've taken over Mom's roles, as far as housekeeper and office-watcher. That made me wonder if I'm enabling Dad and should tell him what I think or if it would be better to do what I can do without trying to change Dad's thinking. When this whole ordeal started, I thought it would be a good time for us to all change our routines so that when Mom comes home we would have to mess with delegating responsibility and more importantly, Mom wouldn't be burdened to clean or do the other things. Unfortunately, Dad didn't bite onto that bait so I decided to just do what I can do. Otherwise, we all end up frustrated.
On a side note, Emma had to go to the doctor to have a berry removed from her nose. She and Tammy got this grand idea that it would be fun to push berries up their noses while JoAnn and I were talking. Tammy's came out but Emma's didn't. So they went up Emma's nose with long tweezers and pulled the berry out of her nose. I think this is another opportunity for us to all learn from these circumstances. I think the lesson for me is to watch my nieces closer. And perhaps the lesson for Emma is to realize that she can't do anything she wants to do. But I think I will leave that lesson between her, her sister, her parents and God.
I'm getting a little impatient waiting for them to discharge Mom from the hospital. A week from tomorrow I'm going to be heading back to Korea. I hope Mom will be home for a week before I leave but that may not be happening. Once Mom is home, it will be easier to take care of things at home. My goal for today is to mow the lawn and to start clearing things out of the living room. Then I hope to get everything cleaned before Mom gets home. Now how can I read 300 pages before I go home to South Korea next Thursday?
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3 comments:
Chop wood, carry water. That's an old Chinese, Buddhist saying. To me, it means take care of the things that are necessary, and that are in your control... you have no control over your Dad, you have only control over you. You can model the behavior you wish he'd have, but you can't 'make' him behave that way. Your mom will convey her needs to him, or to JoAnn, or whoever she needs to. You know she's a strong woman, and determined to survive and thrive. And I bet both your mom and your dad come out of this having learned something. Stay focused on doing what you can, and don't waste the energy on trying to change what you can't.
And pray for wisdom so that you might be able to recognize the difference
Now that sounds syncretistic, like you are meshing a Chinese, Buddhist (I wonder about the significant of describing a proverb as Chinese and Buddhist) proverb with a Christian prayer. I think this does make sense, though.
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