ICU: Day 1

I came to visit Mom this morning with my maternal grandpa. We stayed here until lunchtime and then joined JoAnn, Bruce, Emma and Tammy (my brother and his family) for lunch. Dad came along to drink a glass of Pepsi and finish off the hamburger that Emma didn't want to finish. After that we came to the hospital and I was surprised to see my mom's cousin Yolanda and her husband Clayton come along to visit. Then Sharon and LeRoy (Mom's younger but not youngest brother and his wife) came along. Katie (my cousin, their daughter) joined them during her lunch break. She might come back tonight with her husband, Ivan.

The report on Mom is that her vitals are good and she is doing better than the surgeon expected her to do. She is still on the breathing machine which they will continue until her breathing is better. She is breathing fast right now, perhaps because of the blood clot. But all in all, the report on her is good. The nurse thinks she is strong and that Mom will make a full recovery.

I would imagine that the most difficult part for Mom is not being able to communicate with us (i.e. talk) though she can understand what we are saying and nod up and down. I would imagine the second hardest thing for her is not being able to serve herself. And perhaps the third hardest thing is asking for more pain medicine when she is hurting. After that, it is difficult for her not to bite down on the breathing tube. I think they are beginning to suspect that they need to give her more medicine when this happens. She had some problems earlier but now she is doing well.

I was blessed to have my Aunt Sharon ask me how I am doing. For me, I am thankful that Mom is still alive. Even though she has tubes going every which way, I am hopeful that she will come through. I did cry for about an hour last night as I remembered all the trauma I've seen Mom go through. I trust these are tears of joy in gratitude for the fact that Mom survived two significant ordeals that seemed to be life-threatening to some extent.

I hesitate to talk about how we are dealing with this as a family but I think it might be helpful to write this down and come to a better understanding of my own thinking and perhaps you can tell me where I am wrong in my thinking. It seems that some of my family is less optimistic. Mom's cousin Ardis suggested this is because they didn't see Mom when her blood clot apparently moved (aka the afternoon episode that seemed like ER central where Mom's heart rate and temperature shot through the roof as she shivered so bad that the bed was shaking). Or perhaps it is just difficult to see Mom in this condition.

For some reason, I am drawn to spending a lot of time with Mom in the hospital. I can't imagine any place I'd rather be and I think it does Mom good to show that she is important enough to spend time with her above all else. Not only that, but I remember when I was sick in the hospital and how difficult it was when my family wasn't around and I got edgy as I wondered when they were going to come. Meanwhile, other family members spend some time with her and go about their other duties. I'm probably not being fair in my expectation that they should be here more since I have little to no responsibility. I am just so thankful to have Mom around and I think we can (I said should but I'm trying to change my thinking with this word) show her our appreciation and love by spending a lot of time here. Now surely I am in the wrong in my thinking, aren't I?

I guess everything is what it is. Surely Mom has a sweet deal with some family members who want to spend a little time with her and one who can't do anything else. I heard a lot about "ministry of presence" in seminary and I find that we can do what we need to do here while keeping Mom company while she gets better.