Reading Report #1

Since I returned from the US I have become more aware of the urgent need of me reading more. I've lived in Korea for the last five years and I think I've focused on learning Korean (at least in thought) more than I thought about the need to feed my soul (metaphorically speaking, not to be confused with the Platonic soul). I have to be honest and thank my wife for pointing out my naivete on several points. I've also noticed that reading on the way to and from work is beneficial. I've practically read entire magazines and lectures just on my way to work and back which is about 20 minutes round trip if I'm walking quickly. I've noticed it takes me about five minutes longer one way unless I'm really pressed for time when I read while I'm walking to my office. This has proven to be seriously therapeutic. I've read two issues of "Grace and Peace" a magazine for licensed and ordained ministers in the Church of the Nazarene, and I've also read two lectures by Ron Benefiel, the current department chair of the School of Theology and Christian Ministries at Point Loma Nazarene University. So from now on, I'm hoping to report on what I've read. For starters, and forgive me if I've posted this book before, I'm posting, "The Feeling Good Handbook," a book that has been extremely beneficial to me in my struggle to overcome shame, something I've only become aware of in the last three years or so. I always knew I struggled with self-esteem issues but narrowing that down to a struggle with shame and some practical tools on how to overcome that shame has made a huge difference in my personal life. Those tools have come directly from David D. Burns, first in his book "Feeling Good" and subsequently in his sequel, "The Feeling Good Handbook". The latter seems to have worked out some of the bugs of the former, though I still think "Feeling Good" is a better place to start. The latter is an extremely thick book, perhaps comparable in size to a modern translation of the bible in small print. Although numerous methods are described, I find the daily log the most helpful probably because that is the place to start. I have struggled with finding time for this but when alarms go off inside of me that something is wrong and that it won't go away by wrestling with the thoughts in my head, I take a minute to turn on my computer and talk about the feeling, pinpoint the cognitive distortion and revise my negative thought to make it more reasonable. I am constantly amazed how that seemingly menial exercise is enough to change my whole day. As a side note, although I read this book a long time ago and there may be many things I have forgotten, I found what Dr. Burns says about expressing one's feelings to one's spouse before they become threatening to be a good approach although I'm still learning how to do this in a way that is meaningful to my wife and not just a means of dumping my frustrations on my wife.