A More Reflective Life?

I've been on a roller coaster for the last three days or perhaps longer than that. Teaching seems to be a roller coaster of emotions, where I tend to base my worth on how students respond to me. I think I have struggled with the concept of teaching English for as long as I have been teaching, which has been for about four years and five months now. I keep thinking that I need to find THAT job which brings me ultimate fulfillment. But my last visit to America earlier this summer left me thinking I am barking up the wrong tree and that I need to make some resolve to somehow not equate my self-worth with the work I am doing. When I think about how best to process all of that, what with all the negative thoughts I have and all, the prospect of writing sounds more and more appealing. I have worked with different people at the Camp I'm required to work every year and regardless of the personality I seem to have trouble with the person I'm working with. When I say "trouble" I mean that I find myself feeling less adequate than the other person. Once that happens I negate the value of any worth I might have. So, I hope this is the beginning of a beautiful journey of writing books in two areas, one related to my satisfaction with myself in reference to the job I work at and hopefully another area will be with family relationships and theology or better yet might be philosophy of religion or just philosophy. In order to do this, I'm going to need your help. Can you keep me accountable to write and not simply do journaling that sounds like a diary, though I still seem to need that, too?