My trip to Vietnam

MY TRIP TO VIETNAM

What follows is the edited version of my recollection of traveling to Viet Nam for the first time ever. I wrote these things mostly while I was on the trip with a reflection once I got home which was intended to be an exercise in dealing with the sadness of being away from Viet Nam after spending only a week there. I have removed things that are personal or that may hinder others who are serving in Viet Nam. I hope this is as meaningful in recollecting and as you read it as it was for me as I experienced these things firsthand. I am including the dates that I wrote these things for historical reference and to demonstrate the truth of my claim that I wrote while I was on the trip to, in and from Viet Nam.
2/17/09: This is my first day of waking up in Viet Nam. I was a little nervous about catching a bus to the airport in Korea but everything worked out. Yesterday the biggest event was a wedding festivity. I guess this was the third day of celebrating. I sat with Ron, which made it more interesting than sitting only with people who may or may not speak English. We were also joined by Loan, one of Phuong’s relatives, who is about 21 years old. Of course Phuong is a student at Korea Nazarene University (KNU) who invited us to come to her country.
In hearing a story about someone who was not able to attend a university because of low test scores, I was reminded that it is not the right of every human being to receive a formal education. It reminded me of what one of my former professors told me about being richer than many Americans just because of the education I’ve received. As I heard this story I began to wonder whether I am really any better off than she is. She seems very happy and relies heavily upon God whom she believes provided her a job without a university education and who also provided reconciliation on the job when she thought she might have to quit because of unfair working conditions.
Yesterday I had an interesting conversation about compassionate ministry. I heard how much money that people donate goes to the hands of those who are not in need. This seems to make it difficult to help people.
I’m not sure how well I am connecting with the people here but there is a sense in which I feel at home here. There doesn’t seem to be a hurry, hurry culture here like there is in Korea. And I think life here is a lot different than life in Korea or America. I’m sure there is a point when one wants to go back to a place like Korea but for now this is nice.
One of the more remarkable things about this culture is the plethora (and i do mean plethora) of motorcycles. It’s also cool that people ride their bicycles along with the people riding motorcycles. It seems that they are able to keep up with the people on motorcycles pretty well.
With all of the traffic, it is interesting crossing the street. If you run across the street, you’re more likely to get hit. The key is to slowly pace your way across. Then people weave their way around people crossing the street. When we flag down the taxi, which is often in the middle of the road, the driver will point to us, telling us to meet him at the corner. I think this is because he (I only saw men as taxi drivers) has to merge over to the right and there are people who are next to the taxi on bicycles and motorcycles so he has to do so slowly.
Today, Ron and I had lunch with Phuong and her parents and brother-in-law. This was interesting. At first I felt like I was i Ron’s shadow. He and his wife Bonnie have done a lot for her so it is understandable why they want to speak especially to him. But eventually I became more comfortable participating in the conversation.
So far I am enjoying my time here. There are two things I want to do while i am here: (1) spend time with people I met whom I believe have a lot to teach me about ministry and (2) I also want to see the tunnels and the war museum, even though this is not where the main battles of the Viet Nam War took place. I think it will take a day at the tunnels and a day to learn about ministry. But at the same time I want to spend time with Phuong and her family. I think that as long as Ron is here, it will be okay if I do something on my own.
2/19/08
Yesterday Phuong took us fishing. The place we went is popular for having wedding pictures taken. We went to many different spots on that location taking pictures of each other. I got several of Vy and Phuong, as well as Ron. Since it seemed that Ron and Phuong connected and Vy and I did, I tried to take pictures of Vy. But of course I didn’t miss the opportunity with Phuong and Ron either.
Fishing was the most leisurely thing we did. We used bamboo poles that had a line and a hook. We used some type of mud bait. We didn’t catch anything but I saw a few big fish. Ron, Phuong and Vy eventually laid down while i continued to fish. Vy tried at one point. None of us caught any fish and we didn’t see anyone else catching fish either. Ron and I thought we had some nibblers but that was it.
Singing in the Karaoke room was fun but not quite as lively as when I have been with Koreans in the singing room. Contrary to a Korean singing room, there were no tambourines. And people sang from their seats even though I was asked to stand up. I was surprised how early we stopped but I guess people were tired and they had things to do the next day.
Today was a little bit different because Phuong went home to see her parents. That meant Ron and I were on our own. Ron stayed near the guest house and I went to a war museum. This was my first experience on a motorbike. One of the owners of the guesthouse took me for free on one of their motorbikes.
I tried to move along rather quickly since I made lunch plans. I took a motorbike taxi back to the guest house and paid 30,000 Viet Nam Dang, about the equivalent of $1.50, which I was told was more than if I would’ve taken a taxi with air conditioning. I had many experiences of riding motorbikes today which I think probably cost me more than a taxi would have. I learned some things about the Viet Nam War and some things aobut the Vietnamese perspective that it was about American Imperialism. I’m sure there were some things that may not be “true” but I mostly focused on the war without pre-judging the story. This is easier for me since I don’t know much about it.
Lunch today left me wondering if there is a place for me inside of the church. This seems strange in light of my passion for preaching and my apparent gift for it. Btu I find it to be more comfortable to have conversations with people outside of the church setting. Yet I find that the people I talk to are professing Christians.
Today ended by having dinner with Vy, Lam, Hong and Ron. We ate at a restaurant outside and then we had coffee. This was fun but I felt bad for Hong that she couldn’t speak English very well. Also, we sometimes left Vy in the dust because we spoke too fast. She said she had fun and she even sent me a text message wishing me a good night. It makes me think that she likes me as a foreign friend. Ron and I are the first foreigners she and Hong have ever talked to.
2/20/08
Today has been different than I expected. I saw the Cuchi tunnels but further away from Ho Chi Minh City than I expected. We (Vy, Lam and I) rode a bus for 2 1/2 hours to the Cuchi tunnels in the country. We got to go through a few of them but not as much as I expected.
There have been high points and low points from today. The high points were when we got along and understood each other. The low points were when we had difficulty communicating. This happened when we took a really long bus ride. I was worried we were going to a totally different place. Sometimes I felt like Lam was saying yes when he didn’t really know the answer to my question about where we were going. But we eventually got there and this was an important part of my trip. I got to spend time with Vy and Lam and I also got to re-experience some of the things that happened in the Viet Nam War.
I think often of what one of my professors said in class about the traveling Vietnam War Memorial Wall. He said that those who weren’t alive couldn’t understand what was happening then. But I still think it is important to come as close to understanding it as possible.
When I go to Museums and Memorials, I hear a lot of hatred towards America. I heard in a video that one person was given an award for “killing Americans”. I suppose this could be comparable to the American rhetoric of defending one’s country. But it seems curious that the words are spoken against America and not the other countries who were America’s allies like Australia, New Zealand, South Korea and others. I asked a tour guide about it and he wasn’t able to give an answer perhaps because his English skills were not strong enough to deal with that subject.
Even though there seems to be some animosity towards America in these formal settings, I don’t sense the same hostility from people I meet on the streets. Sure, people stare at me sometimes. And maybe some of that is due to world history. But I suspect some of it is due to the fact that I have blond hair, blue eyes and white skin. I get similar looks from people in Korea.
When I go through museums and memorials, I try not to respond offensively to the comments about the terrible actions of the USA. I imagine that some of these things are more plausible than others. But I think my job as a guest in this country is to listen. I have to admit that sometimes these actions make me feel uneasy. I guess as much as I try to be an un-American American, there is a connection there that is part of who I am.
I am embarrassed that I don’t know more of the story of the Viet Nam War. I would imagine it had something to do with property rights or fighting communism or something like that. But at the end of the day, I don’t know if the reasoning of going to war is justified. Obviously there is much that I don’t know about.
For me, the most difficult is the thought of war. Whatever the real numbers of casualties are, there really were casualties. And I think the Vietnamese deserve some credit for not holding the consequences of the Viet Nam War against the succeeding generations.
I may have said before that I am not looking forward to returning to Korea. I think I am more okay with it today as I have seen that the grass is not greener on the other side but I also feel freer here. I don’t have to worry about conflicts of interests by being friends with people who are younger than me because they are my students. The differences in culture are tremendous and I feel like I should choose the socio-economically poorer culture. But somehow I still have to pay my bills.
2/22/09
I thought the Cuchi tunnels would be the last thing to explore in terms of the Vietnam War. I ended up going camping with Vy and Lam after all. Phuong said she’d be busy most of the weekend and since Loan was also busy I decided to go with them. This has proved to be an interesting experience.
I have had many people approach me in conversation. One person sat next to me on the bus and when he got up someone else came to sit next to me. When I got here, I continued to have many more conversations with people. Some of these happened when I was in the water. This is something I didn’t do previously because I was afraid of the water and also because I can’t swim.
I heard people talk about liking America in spite of the history of the Vietnam War. This seems to be quite a different perspective from what I hear in the museums and war memorials.
The most interesting conversation I had was with Mai, a 22 year-old university student. She has friends who are foreigners so she is able to have deeper conversations than many people I have met in Viet Nam.
She was helpful in giving me a Vietnamese perspective though she struggled to do this at all points because of the language barrier. She was very direct in telling me that she thinks I put myself on a pedastal. In other words, she says that I think I am better than Vietnamese people. When I asked her to point to something she saw in my actions she couldn’t say anything in particular. I think this is more of a generalization that all Westerners think they are better than Vietnamese people.
I tried to be honest with her and say that I want to see everyone as being the same while at the same time I know this is a constant struggle. I don’t think this matters because she has seen this attitude in so many foreigners. It is more of a matter of foreigners proving her wrong. Unfortunately, I fear that her assumption is right more often than it is wrong.
It is interesting that she seems very interested in marrying a foreigner in spite of this apparent prejudice, if that is what it is. I told her to be careful that a guy was not objectifying her. We talked about many things and I hope I have found a new friend with her.
2/23/09
Well, today is the last day I will be in Vietnam. Tonight I board the plane with Phuong that is destined for Korea. I suspect that both of us will be very sad.
I could’ve seen Vy and Lam one more time if I would’ve gotten out of bed earlier. I was supposed to catch a taxi but I didn’t wake up until almost midnight. I woke up one time around 6 or 7:30 and the next time I woke up it was almost midnight. I feel better today but I still wish I would’ve gone to see Vy and Lam one more time.
Today, I had the privilege of going to the Reunification Palace. This seemed to be one of the important places to visit in terms of the Vietnam War. The lady who was MY tour guide (I was the only tourist on the English-speaking tour) was very enjoyable. She told many funny jokes, like when she asked if the elephant feet belong to a male or female elephant. I said they belonged to a female just so I wouldn’t offend her and she said it was a male because the toenails weren’t painted. We also talked about Arnold Swarzenegger going from a movie star to a governor. I said it is a bad thing and she said it is a good thing. I also learned that Ho Chi Minh was the president of the Liberation Army. I’m still confused on this matter. I wanted to ask her about Viet Nam being a Democratic Socialist Republic but I didn’t get around to that. When we got to the end of the tour I gave her my card and she had to leave.
I gave Von, the girl who has cleaned this room for the last week, a thank-you note, my business card and a tip (I was so happy to leave a tip since I can’t do this in Korea). She asked me later if it is for her and she thanked me when I told her it was for her.
I went to a different kind of restaurant for lunch. It looked like some sort of a cafe lounge. The food was good but I’m not sure it was as healthy as the other food I’ve eaten. I had beef, salad, french fries and a good size of what I know as french bread. After that I went to Buck’s Ice Cream, where Ron suggested I go before I leave. Then I walked back to this room, which was when Von said thanks.
And now I am waiting for Mai to call or text me. The anticipation is killing me. And I’m trying to wait until I get on the plane, or at least to the airport before I fall apart. I guess I could go walk around or something, but I don’t want to have to mess with being too far away from here in case Mai can’t go to dinner or she wants to meet earlier.
It helped me to talk to some foreigners about my experience. They reminded me that it isn’t so easy once the honeymoon is over. I’ve been through it some in Korea so I understand some of what they are talking about. I think it must be so difficult with Vietnam being less developed.
Now I am sitting on the plane next to Phuong. Most of our customs paperwork is finished. She is trying to sleep as I write in here. I didn’t cry like i thought I would. I can’t help but wonder if Mai helped me with this. When I said goodbye to her she didn’t seem to be so sad but she seemed to view it as the beginning of a new friendship. Crying won’t change anything so I guess I will remember these people who have changed my life in just a few days. I hope things will be different now. I will miss hanging out with people that have no connection to the university where I teach. I think I will explore opportunities in Vietnam.
When I look back on the people I met and the things I did, there was very little connection to church. As far as I know, Vy, Loan and Lam believe in God. Perhaps they are Christians. But I didn’t find my experience with them to be a lot different from my experience with people like Mai who says she doesn’t believe in God. I’m sure much of this is because of the cultural difference and the language barrier. Either way, it seems like I have a good foundation for doing something. But maybe this is a pipe dream. When I told Mai that I have a vision to change the world, she said everybody does.
So I guess that about wraps the trip up. I’m surprised we are on this airplane since Phuong didn’t arrive a moment too soon and the woman who checked us in told me the flight was overbooked. After we got our tickets, Phuong wanted to see her family again for ten minutes. I couldn’t believe she was even asking about this. I agreed with much reticence. It took her five minutes to find someone and she only found Josep. I guess he was the one she really missed. When I saw how difficult it was for both of them, I could see why she wanted to see him.
And now for the final reflection. I hope I have stated many times how much better this experience was than I planned. I told one person my favorite part was making new friends. I told Phuong the best best best was my conversation with Mai on Saturday night. But there were many other experiences that I will never forget, like the bond with Vy, seeing Hong slowly warm up, the frustrations of language barriers, the kindness of Loan when we were eating and I didn’t know the right forms for how to put the food together, the conversations at the guest house, the effort Von made to talk to me epecially after I gave her a gift, the kindess of the group I went camping with, including the girl who told me where I could find a warmer place to sleep. I also remember the museums and the sadness I felt about the war, not knowing what really are the true “facts” of the war. I didn’t get to see how to really help the poor but I had a sense of the poor being all around me. I saw people trying to make money in all kind of ways, whether begging, selling in the streets, people sitting on motorbikes offering to give me a ride or the more traditional methods I am familiar with for making money.
I still wonder how a people can be so hospitable, forgive their enemies from the past and manage to be so kind. But Mai reminded me there are good and bad people in every country.
I told Mai I’m going to tell my parents what amazing people the Vietnamese really are and I mean it. I expect this experience to affect me as much as when I went to Ukraine. It’s funny how people with different backgrounds can become friends. Several people told me to visit again. I want to go to the Philippines and visit another poorer Asian country. But I hope I can return to Vietnam. I guess that is in God’s hands. I’ve got a red-eye flight so I guess I better get some sleep. I hope I never forget Vietnam. I promised Mai and Vy I wouldn’t forget them. I don’t think it will be a problem to keep that promise. I hope those friendships are lifelong.
2/26/09
Phuong and I finally arrived at KNU around 10:45am on Tuesday. It was difficult for both of us to leave but I’m sure it was more difficult for Phuong. I did not cry like I thought I would.
The last few days have been difficult. Tuesday was probably the worst day. I was tired from the long flight home and I missed Viet Nam. It helped that I was able to chat with Loan and Mai online. Loan told me she wants to tell me a lot about her life but that she doesn’t think she can speak well in English. Mai and I talked about a lot of subjects which seems to be normal.
I e-mailed Tinh and Lam and they both responded. I still owe them a response. People ask me why I miss Vietnam. I tell them I miss my friends. It was so nice being friends with people I didn’t know through my job. I didn’t have to worry about a conflict of interest. Mai and I have both expressed interest in talking though she can’t explain why in the logical order I prefer. I was surprised to hear her say that she thought she’d believe in God eventually.
Today was easier because I was busy most of the day. I felt very fulfilled after I spoke at the orientation with another foreign professor. The saddest part is tonight when I came home after dinner. I don’t like coming home to an empty apartment. The loneliness reminds me of when I spent time with my friends in Vietanam or when I went to restaurants by myself. I can still do that here but it isn’t very cost-effective. I did that last night at the Vietnamese restaurant near KNU. It was kind of sad eating alone and the food was a little different but it still reminded me of Viet Nam and especially of the people i spent time with when I was there. I think I’m getting more and more settled back into Korean life, but I don’t see how it can ever be the same again.