Reading Report: "The Happiness Project"

I just finished reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. I purchased this book a year-and-a-half when I visited the US for three weeks while Sinae stayed in Korea to focus on writing her master's thesis. She told me to freely buy books that I can bring back to Korea. I took her advice and as a result I wound up having to cram more books in my carry-on bag in order to avoid paying the surcharge for having an overweight bag. This book was certainly not the most earth-shattering read of all the books I've read, but it was indeed well worth the time I invested. The writer claims to be agnostic but displays herself as being very open to spiritual viewpoints and even speaks directly to churches interested in using her book as a sort of advertisement at the end of the book. As I read this book, and especially as I have finished this book, I think that this could easily be classified in spiritual formation circles as a rule of life because that seems to be exactly what the writer formulates. The basic premise of this book is that the writer dedicated a year to living a happy, more meaningful life and she did so by changing her outlook on life. Some things were very simple, like getting rid of clothing she hadn't worn in quite a while. But other things are more challenging like trying to respond to children without getting angry with them or simply managing one's mood more efficiently. To tell you the truth, the thing this book has enlightened me on the most is the necessity to be happy and that one isn't simply born happy without any struggle. I think it is safe to say that I have spent most of my life being unhappy. Before reading this book, the need to be happy never really dawned on me. I think I've lived my life as if I couldn't be happy because of the circumstances (Having to work for a live from the time I was in elementary school, having to support myself in college and seminary, not being supported by my dad when I went to college for the first time, not feeling "smart enough" to finish the assigned reading in my classes in college etc.). But now, looking back, I realize that I wasn't really trying all that hard. I tend to think that one of the influences that somehow unintentionally swayed me from seeking happiness was my class on the book of Philippians in bible school. The teacher emphasized that happiness is based on what happens and that joy is this Providential emotion Christians can experience. That somehow made me think seeking happiness was bad. So I didn't even seek after it. I still think I would complement what Rubin says about happiness with a more fundamental spiritual aspect (I would be Agnostic if I could but I became convinced that it is incongruous with reality given that we have to make choices every moment regarding things we can see, let alone things we can't see) but that doesn't take away from the strengths of her "argument" if we can call it that. I definitely resonate with what Rubin has written. The first semester I taught at the university where I'm currently employed, I often went into class feeling depressed because students didn't respond to what I said. As a result, I received low evaluations. As an attempt to improve those evaluations, I started every class with a big smile as much as possible. I tell you the truth, I don't think I've ever tried so hard to be more happy. And it apparently worked. Rubin calls this principle, "Act the way you want to feel". Without regurgitating the entire book, other relevant points include being oneself (not expecting "fun" things other people enjoy to necessarily have the same effect on me and also to not let that bother me), taking time to write down things one is thankful for, developing some sort of accountability group (My words not hers) and trying things that one might not normally engage in. There are many more things which I may try to develop more of but as I try to tell my friends when recommending good advice I read in a book which doesn't seem to have the same effect when I try to explain it to them in my less than eloquent manner, read the book and see what you think yourself.