Reading Report #1

Since I returned from the US I have become more aware of the urgent need of me reading more. I've lived in Korea for the last five years and I think I've focused on learning Korean (at least in thought) more than I thought about the need to feed my soul (metaphorically speaking, not to be confused with the Platonic soul). I have to be honest and thank my wife for pointing out my naivete on several points. I've also noticed that reading on the way to and from work is beneficial. I've practically read entire magazines and lectures just on my way to work and back which is about 20 minutes round trip if I'm walking quickly. I've noticed it takes me about five minutes longer one way unless I'm really pressed for time when I read while I'm walking to my office. This has proven to be seriously therapeutic. I've read two issues of "Grace and Peace" a magazine for licensed and ordained ministers in the Church of the Nazarene, and I've also read two lectures by Ron Benefiel, the current department chair of the School of Theology and Christian Ministries at Point Loma Nazarene University. So from now on, I'm hoping to report on what I've read. For starters, and forgive me if I've posted this book before, I'm posting, "The Feeling Good Handbook," a book that has been extremely beneficial to me in my struggle to overcome shame, something I've only become aware of in the last three years or so. I always knew I struggled with self-esteem issues but narrowing that down to a struggle with shame and some practical tools on how to overcome that shame has made a huge difference in my personal life. Those tools have come directly from David D. Burns, first in his book "Feeling Good" and subsequently in his sequel, "The Feeling Good Handbook". The latter seems to have worked out some of the bugs of the former, though I still think "Feeling Good" is a better place to start. The latter is an extremely thick book, perhaps comparable in size to a modern translation of the bible in small print. Although numerous methods are described, I find the daily log the most helpful probably because that is the place to start. I have struggled with finding time for this but when alarms go off inside of me that something is wrong and that it won't go away by wrestling with the thoughts in my head, I take a minute to turn on my computer and talk about the feeling, pinpoint the cognitive distortion and revise my negative thought to make it more reasonable. I am constantly amazed how that seemingly menial exercise is enough to change my whole day. As a side note, although I read this book a long time ago and there may be many things I have forgotten, I found what Dr. Burns says about expressing one's feelings to one's spouse before they become threatening to be a good approach although I'm still learning how to do this in a way that is meaningful to my wife and not just a means of dumping my frustrations on my wife.

2 Timothy 2:1-13 and the salvific imagery of Cleveland, Ohio

As you can see from the title of this post, I'm still thinking through everything that happened with all parties involved with the three ladies and the little girl who were literally saved. Here are some thoughts I shared with some students and a pastor here in Korea. The foundation text of this "bible study" is 2 Timothy 2:1-13. Introduction: This is my second semester at Myongji University and my sixth year in Korea. Before I taught here I taught for 4 1/2 years at Korea Nazarene University (나사렛대학교). Before that I was living in St. Louis, Missouri in the US, west of Chicago, where my dream was to help the poor. I was volunteering at a church reaching out to the inner city where I was living in the city, hoping to change my neighborhood through relationships. Before that, I was living in Kansas City which is west of St. Louis. I lived in Kansas City for about four years. I want to say thank you for letting me be a part of your meeting tonight. I look forward to having conversation with you about things that matter. I am married to a Korean which creates for a variety of experiences. Sometimes they are funny, sometimes interesting and sometimes...well...you know what I mean. One of the things that is on the border of fun/funny/interesting is when it comes to following the law. For example, driving through red lights. What ends up happening is we both focus on different aspects of the law. For example, when a camera is coming up and it says something like “80 kilometers per hour” then my wife is often the first to say, “팔십”. When I was in high school, the principal (교장) made an announcement once a week. As the semester came near the end, I remember him telling us, “don’t drop the ball” (실수로 망치다). And I think of all of you and the pressures you’re facing. I wonder how many temptations you have coming your way. The reality is that you are not alone. That is the reality of the world we live in. And there are things that have come out in the news recently that have reminded the world of the importance of following rules. Not strict things we have to do just because but guidelines that keep us healthy and holy. The worst of these is the story of Ariel Castro. This is the story you’ve probably heard on the news coming from America. One man kidnapped three women and held them captive from 9-11 years. He prevented them from being able to carry a baby, except for one person, who had a baby he is the father of. The last news report I read on this story was that even with all the evidence in his house, even chains and ropes, that he was claiming he was innocent. The second story is about 윤창정, the spokesman for President Park Geun-hye who “was accused of mistreating a young Korean-American intern at the South Korean Embassy in Washington D.C. who was serving as his guide” (New York Times). Initially, his defense was cultural differences with President Park and others apologizing on his behalf. c. The third story, perhaps the most trivial of all, is about Chinese tourists remembering that they represent China when they go to other countries. Tania Branigan, a writer of “The Guardian” said Chinese tourists are accused of these things. “They speak loudly in public, carve characters on tourist attractions, cross the road when the traffic lights are still red, spit anywhere and [carry out] some other uncivilised behavior. It damages the image of the Chinese people and has a very bad impact.” Tania Branigan The Guardian (www.guardian.co.uk) All of these stories show us the importance of following principles. I think that is what the writer of 2 Timothy was instructing the person(s) receiving this letter to do. Especially young people tend to think we won’t get caught or that nothing bad will happen to us. But these stories remind us of the contrary. Share in suffering. The writer alludes to soldiers, who have a mission to carry out. Even they aren’t allowed to be distracted by issues related to citizens who are not directly related to their mission. An athlete: Only the one who finishes well gets an award. Hard-working farmer: Hard work is required in order for the farmer to get a good crop. To tell you the truth, one of the issues that my wife and I can’t easily talk about is the story of Ariel Castro. I would suspect that it is easy for us to look at a country we are not a citizen of as being “crazy”. But for me, there is a story of salvation here, which the writer of our passage speaks of very clearly. So I’d like to close tonight by sharing with you my interpretation of that event as it relates to salvation. First, we have the three women who were enslaved to their captor, Ariel Castro. The biggest question everybody is asking is, “Why did the three women wait so long?” There are reports that Ariel liked to play a “game” with them where he pretended like he was leaving and then if they tried to escape and he caught them he would beat them. Eventually, Amanda Berry escaped from the house, with the help of Charles Ramsey. He was eating some food from McDonalds on his porch (건물 입구에 지붕이 얹혀 있고 흔히 벽이 둘러진) 현관) when he heard someone screaming. Apparently, Amanda had gotten to the front door and needed help from somebody else. Charles Ramsey put it best when he said, “I knew something was wrong when a pretty white girl ran into a black man’s arms.” Because of Charles Ramsey, the three women and Amanda’s little girl were set free. They experienced salvation that day in a very present-day reality. Perhaps Michelle Knight, one of the other victims said it best. She ran towards him and said, “You saved us. You saved us.” Another victim said, “Please don’t let me go.” Here is the point where my wife get into trouble. The remaining figure in this story is Ariel Castro. His lawyer, Craig Weintraub, said the media has made him out to be worse than he really is. And the world is waiting to see what will happen with the suspect. In American culture, you are innocent until proven guilty. His lawyer seems to be arguing for the world to maintain a composure of innocency. One website suggests that Michelle Knight, one of the victims was beaten so badly that she will need facial reconstructive surgery. 10. So now Ariel Castro sits in his cell, apparently being monitored for suicide. We could easily condemn him and say that we don’t understand why he did what he did. Perhaps that is because we haven’t followed through with what we have the potential to do. But we can surely identify with Ariel Castro enough to say there have been times when we too wanted to break the rules. And Ariel Castro, and the others in our discussion who have broken the law, remind us, along with the writer of 2 Timothy that bad things happen when we break the rules. The Christian story is really one of paradox. Why do people break the rules? They want to get ahead. Sometimes it can feel like we aren’t getting ahead by doing the right thing. But scripture and experience remind us that if we keep doing those things that are right to the very end, we will have the victory. That’s the lesson of the resurrection of Jesus.

A Black Man Saves A White Woman: That's history in the making.

Charles Ramsey, the man who saved the lives of not one but three, possibly four women plus children made a comical statement in one of his interviews when he said, "I knew something was wrong when a pretty white girl ran into a black man's arms." This statement made me crack up because of the bittersweet reality of racial tensions in America. The bitter part is that there are still ideas that black people are inferior to white people. The sweet part is that it was a black man who saved those women. I hope this story makes into the history books and that there is a day when racial discrimination is so far behind us that we don't even get a joke like this. But for now, thank you Charles for teaching us that not only do we need to be heroes where we are but also that we need to be able to laugh about reality to keep ourselves from going insane.

John 20:24-29: The Lord is Risen! Continuing the Resurrected Life.

The Lord is Risen! Continuing the Resurrected Life! (부활하신 주님은 지금도 살아계십니다) John 20:24-29 Good evening! 안녕하세요! It is good to be with you. 반갑습니다. Thank you for the opportunity to share this message with you. 저에게 이 설교하는 기회를 주셔서 감사 드립니다. I’ve anticipated preaching in Korea for a long time but it’s difficult to find opportunities like this to preach since my Korean ability leaves much to be desired. 저는 오랫동안 한국에서 설교하고 싶었지만 한국어 실력이 부족해서 기회를 찾는 것은 좀 힘들었습니다. To be honest, I thought I would be preaching in English and that there would be an interpreter to translate what I say into Korean but I just found out a few days ago that would not be the case. 사실은 제가 통역사와 함께 설교하는 것으로 알고 있었지만 몇 일전에 통역사가 없다고 들었습니다. Nevertheless, this opportunity to preach in Korea, in Korean, is a blessing to me. 그래도 한국에서 한국어로 설교하는 기회는 저에게 축복입니다. It is probably difficult for you to understand my pronunciation since it is not perfect but I pray that the Holy Spirit uses this message as a means of grace to you. 제 발음은 듣기에 부담스럽고 완벽하지 않지만 제가 조심히 말하면서 여러분이 제 말을 이해하고 많이 은혜를 받기를 성령님께 기도하겠습니다. This is my Uncle Don. 이 사진 속의 인물은 저의 큰아버지이신 단이라는 분입니다. He’s my father’s older brother, the oldest of four sons. 저의 아버지 사 형제 중 맏형입니다. From the get-go he was not a conventional Christian. 그 분은 처음에는 믿음이 확실한 기독교인이 아니었습니다. He didn’t really want to be confirmed and wasn’t planning on going through with it. 큰 아버지는 진심으로 세례를 받기를 원하지 않으셨습니다. But as my grandma begged him to go through with it, he took a vow that he didn’t really believe. 그렇지만 친할머니의 끈질긴 간청 때문에 믿음 없이 신앙생활을 하게 되었습니다. The interesting thing about Don is that even though he didn’t agree with everything all of his brothers believed, they all respect him. 큰아버지에게 흥미로운 점은 다른 형제들처럼 신앙을 갖고 있지는 않았지만 모두 형제들이 큰 아버지를 존경하고 있었다는 점입니다. The truth is, I never met Don. 사실 저는 큰 아버지를 한 번도 만난 적이 없습니다. I was born in February 1978 and he passed away in December 1975. 저는 1978년2월에 태어났는데 큰아버지께서는 1975년12월에 돌아가셨기 때문입니다. He was an engineer for a major American railroad company. 큰아버지는 미국에 있는 큰 철도회사의 기관사였습니다. He was riding in the engine car with the window open. 큰 아버지는 달리는 열차의 기관실에 타고 계셨는데. The train he was operating met another train transporting lumber. 반대편에서 목재를 싣고 달려오던 화물 열차에서 목재가 떨어지고 말았습니다. Unfortunately, whoever loaded the lumber didn’t tie it down. 불행하게도 아무도 목재를 싣는 사람들이 나무를 싣고 나서 밧줄로 묶지를 않았던 것입니다. It came flying out of the car and pierced Don in the neck. He died at the scene. 그 목재가 기관차에서 열차를 운전하던 큰아버지를 덮친 것이었습니다. I’ve heard my dad and his two brothers talk a lot about Don. 저는 저희 아버지와 작은 아버지와 삼촌으로부터 큰아버지에 대한 이야기를 많이 들었습니다. I hear them talk about who was the closest to Don. 큰아버지와 제일 가까운 지인 분들로부터 이야기를 들은 것입니다. I even hear them talk about what he believed in various ways. 저는 그 분들로부터 큰아버지의 신앙에 대해 다양한 이야기를 들었습니다. My dad is certain Don wasn’t a Christian whereas his other two brothers think he was. 저희 아버지 생각에는 큰아버지께서는 확실히 기독교인이 아니라고 하였지만, 작은 아버지와 삼촌은 다르게 생각합니다. 큰아버지의 신앙에 대해서는 다양한 의견이 있었습니다. Perhaps it comes down to what happened to Don in the last few moments of his life and whether the living Christ approached him. 아마도 큰아버지는 거의 생의 마지막 시기에 예수님에게 다가갔던 것 같습니다. That is where Thomas comes in. 도마가 예수님의 부활에 대한 태도도 이와 비슷한 것 같습니다. Just like Don, I’ve heard a lot of people talk about Thomas in different ways. 큰 아버지의 신앙에 대해 여러 가지 의견이 있듯이, 저는 다양한 사람들이 도마에 대해 이야기하는 것을 들었습니다. But in contrast to Don, oftentimes I’ve heard people talk about Thomas in negative ways. 그런데 저희 아버지의 형제들이 큰아버지를 존경했던 것과 달리 도마에 대해서는 종종 부정적으로 평가하는 이야기를 더 많이 들었습니다. Thomas has even come to be known as “doubting Thomas”, a name I’ve had people call me on various occasions. 심지어 도마는 사람들 사이에서 의심 많은 제자로 알려져 왔습니다. In fact, it was as I was contemplating this sermon and who Thomas was, that made me think of Don. 제가 이 설교를 준비하면서, 도마는 어떤 사람이었을까 생각하면서, 동시에 큰아버지를 떠올리게 되었습니다. We have come to think of doubting as a bad thing, as the opposite of faith. 우리는 흔히 의심은 나쁜 것이며 믿음과 반대되는 것으로 생각하고 있습니다. When it comes to doubt, there are two ways it can go. 의심에는 두 가지 길이 있습니다. It can be good or bad. 긍정적인 길과 부정적인 길이 있습니다. Of course, we know what happens when we have the bad kind of doubt. 물론 우리는 의심을 부정적으로 사용될 때 일어나는 일이라고 알고 있습니다. We become cynical and just explain anything and everything away that could in any way imply belief in a higher power. 우리는 냉소적으로 이런 저런 것을 설명하는데 그 안에는 더 큰 영역에 속하는 신앙도 그렇게 다루려 합니다. But there is another doubt that is at its best, an honest inquiry into the truth. 그런데 정말 좋은 의심, 참된 진리를 알게 하는 의심도 있습니다. But before we conclude what kind of doubt Thomas had, if indeed he did doubt, let’s look at the text and let it speak for itself. 만약 정말로 도마가 의심을 품고 있었다면, 우리는 도마가 어떤 종류의 의심을 품고 있었는지 결론을 내리기 위해서는 성경에서 자연스럽게 드러내는 것을 살펴보아야 할 것입니다. In an effort to rid ourselves of our own biases of misreading Thomas in this story, let’s imagine how we would feel if the rest of our friends or our family saw Jesus in the flesh but we did not. 저는 성경 본문의 이야기에 있는 우리가 가진 도마에 대한 선입견을 허물고 있음을 여러분께 보이려고 합니다. 여러분, 저의 친구들과 가족은 모두 예수님을 봤는데 저만 예수님을 직접 보지 못했다면 저는 어떤 느낌을 가질지 상상해 보십시오. Would we so easily believe something we had not experienced ourselves? 우리는 우리가 직접 경험하지 않은 것을 쉽게 믿을 수 없지 않을까요? Thomas answers this dilemma by saying very strongly that he would not believe unless he saw the marks in his hands made by the nails or the mark on his side made by the spear of a Roman soldier. 도마는 자신이 직접 예수님의 손에 있는 못 자국과 옆구리에 있는 창 자국을 보지 않고는 믿을 수 없다고 강하게 주장합니다. Before we so quickly condemn Thomas, let’s ask ourselves, would we so easily believe the testimony of others? 우리는 조급하게 도마를 의심 많은 제자로 매도하기 전에, 우리 자신은 과연 다른 사람들의 말 만으로 쉽게 믿을 수 있는지 자신에게 물어보아야 합니다. The text doesn’t give us the sense that Thomas had prepared his heart. 성경 본문 말씀은 도마는 마음의 준비가 되어 있었다고 말하지 않습니다. It doesn’t say that Thomas went to the daybreak service and found peace. 말씀은 도마가 새벽 기도회에 갔다가 평화를 얻었다고 말씀하지 않습니다. While Thomas was struggling to make sense of things and had even told the other disciples he wouldn’t believe unless he saw Jesus for himself, he in fact wouldn’t believe. 도마는 이해하려고 버둥거리며 다른 제자들에게 예수님을 스스로 보지 않았다면 믿지 않을 거라고 하는 그 때에, 도마는 사실상 믿음이 없었습니다. But then Jesus appears. 그런데 그 때 예수님께서 나타나셨습니다. And the first thing Jesus said was, “Peace to you”. 그리고 예수님께서 첫 번째로 너희에게 평화가 있을지어다 하고 말씀하셨습니다. Jesus had already appeared to the others. 예수님께서는 이미 다른 사람들에게 나타나셨습니다. First he appeared to a woman. 먼저 예수님께서는 여인들에게 나타나셨습니다. Then he appeared to the other disciples. 그리고 그 다음에 다른 제자들에게 나타나셨습니다. Then on the eighth day, presumably Sunday evening, Jesus reappears to the other disciples and...to...Thomas. 그리고 여덟 번 째 날, 짐작컨대 주일 저녁 때, 예수님께서는 다른 제자들에게 나타나셨습니다. 그리고...도마에게도 나타나셨습니다. We may have all kinds of images about what this means. 우리는 이것이 뜻하는 바를 여러 가지 이미지로 표현할 수 있을 것입니다. For me, the image of going to my wife’s parents’ home for 추석 or 설날 comes to mind. 저에게는 추석이나 설날 때 저희 아내 부모님의 댁에 가는 것이 떠오릅니다. Of course, I expect my mother and father-in-law will say a lot to me when it’s just them, my wife and I. 물론 저는 장모님과 장인 어른과 저희 아내와 저만 있을 때 많이 이야기를 나눌 수 있으리라고 기대합니다. But when the whole family is there and my mother or father-in-law speak to me directly, that’s an amazing thing. 그런데 온 가족이 모였을 때도 이야기를 많이 나눌 수 있다는 게 신기합니다. And that’s what Jesus did. 예수님께서는 그렇게 하셨습니다. One would imagine Jesus called him by name. 어떤 사람은 예수님께서 도마의 이름을 불렀으리라고 상상합니다. Jesus did not complain about Thomas not believing Jesus had been raised from the dead. 예수님께서는 도마가 예수님이 죽음에서 살아난 것을 믿지 않는 것을 불평하지 않았습니다. he might have been criticized for insisting and having proof that Jesus had really been raised from the dead. 도마는 확실한 증거가 없으면 예수님이 정말로 죽음에서 부활하셨다고 믿지 않겠다고 주장한 사람이라고 비판을 받았던 것 같습니다. But there is no evidence here of that. 그런데 예수님과 제자들에게 예수님이 죽음에서 부활하셨다는 증거 따윈 없었던 것 같습니다. Rather, Jesus simply tells Thomas to feel the holes in his hands with his fingers. 오히려 예수님께서는 도마에게 손 안에 있는 구멍에 손가락을 넣어보라고 간단히 말씀하셨습니다. Then he tells Thomas to not just put his hand ON his side but IN his side. 그리고 도마에게 그냥 손뿐만 아니라 옆구리 위에 넣으라고 하지 않고 옆구리 안에 넣으라고 말씀하셨습니다. The interesting thing here is that Thomas was still with the disciples before this moment in spite of his unbelief. 여기에서 흥미로운 점은 도마가 그의 불신에도 불구하고 이 순간 직전까지 제자들과 함께 하고 있었다는 점입니다. The disciples were still referred to as the twelve even though Thomas questioned the reality of Jesus’ resurrection and Judas had already killed himself. 요한복음 본문은 가룟유다는 자살하였고, 도마는 부활을 의심하고 있었지만 제자를 열두 명이라고 언급하고 있습니다. This appearance was a dramatic appearance. 이러한 언급은 드라마틱한 것입니다. There are a few possibilities for this, which will be discussed later. 이것은 몇 가지 가능성을 보여주는 것인데 자세한 것은 후에 다루도록 하겠습니다. Notice what Jesus says to Thomas. 주목할 것은 예수님께서 도마에게 하신 말씀입니다. Don’t continue to be unbelieving but start believing. 계속 의심하지 말고 믿는 것을 시작하라!, 믿으라! 고 말씀하셨습니다. This implies Thomas was habitually unbelieving and Jesus was urging him to start believing. 이것은 도마가 습관적으로 의심이 많았다는 것을 암시하는 것인데, 예수님께서는 도마가 믿음을 시작하도록 충고하셨음을 시사합니다. 더 정확히 말하면 믿는 것을 시작하고 계속 믿음에 머물도록 이끄셨음을 의미합니다. Here we have a confession that is the first to be heard among all the disciples. 우리는 여기에서 모두 제자들 중 첫 번째로 듣는 고백을 발견하게 됩니다. Thomas’ response could be read as an exclamation something like, “Wow! You really are alive. You are my Lord and my God!” 도마가 대답하기를, “우와! 당신은 진짜 살아나셨습니다. 당신은 나의 주님 그리고 나의 하나님” 이라고 고백합니다. But more than that, this is a title. It is ascribing to Jesus the title that acknowledges who he is. 이것은 표현일 뿐인데, 이것보다도 더 중요한 점은 도마가 예수님이 진정 어떤 분인지 알았다는 것입니다. It is as if Thomas is saying, “Now I recognize who you are.” 도마가 말하기를, “이제 저는 주님이 누구인지 깨달았습니다.”라고 고백합니다. At this point, Thomas seems to be fully convinced of who Jesus is, even more than before. 이것은 도마가 이전과는 완전히 다르게 예수님이 어떤 분인지 확실하게 알았음을 보여주는 것입니다. Jesus articulates the logic of why Thomas has believed. 예수님께서는 도마가 왜 믿게 되었는지 그 논리를 분명하게 표현합니다. This is where some interpreters have taken Jesus to be scolding Thomas for not believing. 이 표현을 어떤 주석가들은 예수님이 도마를 야단친 것이라고 설명합니다. Let’s just read what is in the text without grasping for more than we can see. 우리는 말씀을 지나치게 확대 해석하지 말고 있는 그대로 읽어야 합니다. Jesus tells Thomas, “You have seen and believed. Blessed are those who have not seen but believed.” 예수님께서는 도마에게, “너는 본 후에 믿고 있다. 보지 않고 믿는 사람들은 축복 받는 사람들이다!”라고 말하셨습니다. Jesus has an expectation here of people like you and I who would not see Jesus directly and yet who would believe. 예수님께서는 여기에 있는 저와 여러분들처럼 예수님을 직접 볼 수 없는 사람들에게 믿음을 기대하십니다. So I ask, if Thomas did indeed doubt, which kind of doubter was he? 저는 여기서 다시 질문해 봅니다. 도마는 진정 회의주의자였을까요?. The kind who had made up his mind and was cynical, or the kind who was struggling with himself and had cried out to Jesus, apparently struggling to find the truth? 자신의 마음을 굳게 하고 냉소적인 태도를 가진 회의주의자였을까요 아니면 진리를 찾고자 고민하는 사람이었을까요? I think we could stop here and we would have a good story. 여기까지 좋은 이야기로 끝낼 수 있습니다. 하지만 이 이야기를 통해 더욱 본질적인 것을 함께 나누고 싶습니다. This is a story about one of the disciples who struggles with himself and what he has done. 이 이야기는 고민하며 발버둥쳤던 제자의 이야기입니다. Then at just the right time Jesus appears and everything turns out fine. 꼭 적당한 때에 예수님께서는 나타나셨고 모든 게 잘 되었습니다Just last weekend my wife and I watched a movie put out by the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association a long time ago. 저번 주말에 저희 아내랑 저는 예전의 빌리그래함 목사님의 전도집회 영상을 보았습니다. The movie accomplished its purpose. 영상은 목적을 달했습니다. It told the story of how a man who made bad choices could make better choices. 나쁜 선택을 하는 남자가 어떻게 더 좋은 선택을 할 수 있는가 라는 내용이었습니다. He did pass up a good opportunity to make a lot of money traveling but his life seemed to progress upwardly. 그 남자는 여행으로 돈을 많이 벌 수 있는 기회를 놓쳤는데 그의 삶은 오히려 더 좋아졌습니다. This is what we often do with the story of God. 이것은 우리가 하나님에 대해 이야기할 때 자주 등장합니다. But we know things don’t always work out that way. 그러나 우리는 삶이란 항상 그렇게 되지 않는다는 것을 압니다. We don’t always live happily ever after. 우리는 항상 행복하게 살지 않습니다. The greatest compliment I ever received from my paternal grandmother was when she compared me with her oldest son, Don. 친할머니가 저에게 해 준 칭찬 중에 가장 좋은 칭찬은 큰아버지와 저를 비교하는 것이었습니다. 모든 가족은 단 큰아버지를 사랑했기 때문에 이러한 칭찬은 저에게 가장 기분 좋은 칭찬이었던 것 같습니다. I don’t think she ever quite got over the fact that her son had passed away, even at the end of her life. 제 생각에는 친할머니께서는 생의 마지막 순간까지도 첫아들의 죽음을 받아들일 수 없었을 것입니다. What parent could ever really accept the loss of her or his own son. 어떤 부모든 자신의 딸이나 아들을 잃어버린 것을 잘 받아들일 수 있겠습니까? To be honest, my dad’s family has many peculiarities. 사실은 저희 아버지의 가족은 특이한 점이 많습니다. I’ve just found myself recently thinking more seriously about Uncle Don and the consequences his family and their descendants suffered because of his death. 최근에 저는 제가 큰아버지가 돌아가신 것 때문에, 큰아버지와 큰아버지의 가족과 자녀들이 겪게 된 고통에 대해 생각하게 되었습니다. He was married to a Japanese woman named Junko when he passed away. 큰아버지는 돌아가실 때 준코라는 일본인 아내와 결혼한 상태였습니다. They hadn’t been married all that long. 그분들은 오랫동안 결혼식을 올리지 못했습니다. She is still a part of the family long after her husband has passed away, though the family seems to have broken up since both my grandma and grandpa have passed away. 친할아버지와 할머니께서 돌아가신 후에 가족은 흩어졌지만, 큰어머니는 큰아버지가 돌아가신 후에 계속 가족으로 남았습니다. I’m even starting to grieve the loss of never knowing Uncle Don myself. 심지어 저는 한번도 뵌 적이 없는 큰 아버지의 죽음에 대해 비통해 하기 시작했습니다. He was a student of philosophy, even though he never graduated from a university. 큰 아버지는 대학교를 다녔을 때 철학을 공부했습니다. His second to youngest brother, Uncle Leland, gave me a philosophical book that Don had apparently treasured. 큰 아버지의 두 번째 동생은 저에게 큰 아버지가 좋아했던 철학책을 주셨습니다. He had written many poems that the family still has but nobody is quite sure what to do with. 큰 아버지는 시도 많이 쓰셨는데 가족들은 그것을 어떻게 해야 할지 모르고 있습니다. .It seems that we are still at a loss. 저희는 지금도 그 시를 가족 중 누가 간직해야 할지를 모르고 있습니다. And if we don’t really piece the story of Thomas together, we as a faith community could be at a real loss, too. 우리도 도마의 이야기를 잘 맞추지 않는다면 믿음의 공동체인 우리도 역시 진리를 잃어버릴 수 있습니다. The Bible doesn’t tell us about what happened to Thomas after Pentecost. 성경은 우리에게 도마는 성령 강림절 후에 무엇을 했는지 언급하고 있지 않습니다. Of course there are other historical sources that suggest Thomas went on to tell the gospel of Christ to the people of India and that he himself died for his Lord. 물론 다른 역사적 자료는 도마가 인도에 가서 인도 사람들에게 예수님에 대해 전하고 도마는 주님을 위해 죽었다고 말해줍니다. Who would’ve imagined that someone such as “Doubting Thomas” could have been committed enough to what he believed to become a martyr of the Lord Jesus Christ? 누군가 도마를 “의심 많은 도마”라고 상상한다면 자신의 믿음을 따라 예수 그리스도의 복음을 전하다 순교자 된 것을 상상할 수 있을까요? I’m a little bit worried that we might miss the point of this story as we often do miss the point of the stories in the Bible. 저는 우리가 종종 성경의 뜻을 잃어버리듯 도마 이야기의 의미를 놓칠 것에 대해 염려가 됩니다. We sometimes read them as stories that took place long ago that may not necessarily have any relevance to our lives. 때때로 우리는 성경의 이야기를 읽을 때 우리 삶과 관련 없이 그냥 옛날 이야기로 읽습니다. Or we might read a story like this and think there is no relevance to our lives if we have been Christians for a long time. 우리가 오랫동안 신앙인으로 살아가다 보면, 성경의 이야기는 우리 삶과 관련 없는 그냥 이야기로 다가옵니다. The longer we are Christians, the less we doubt those things that are really important and the more we focus on those things that are really important. 우리는 더욱 오랫동안 기독교인으로 생활하다 보면 진리에 대해 질문하지 않고 중요한 것에 대한 관심이 줄어들기 쉽습니다. I’d like to take a step back and look at some lessons in this story. 저는 우리가 오늘의 성경 이야기가 주는 교훈을 짚어보기를 원합니다. First, Jesus didn’t respond right away but Jesus was listening. 첫 번째로, 예수님께서는 즉각 대답하지 않으시고 제자의 이야기를 듣고 계셨습니다. Thomas kept calling out Jesus name and even though Jesus didn’t speak directly to Thomas at that time, Jesus was listening. 도마는 계속 예수님을 불렀는데 예수님께서는 그 때 도마에게 즉각 대답하지 않고 듣고 계셨습니다. Let this be a reminder to us that God hasn’t given up. 이것은 하나님께서 우리에게 즉각 대답하지 않는 순간에도 우리를 포기한 것이 아니란 점을 상기시켜 줍니다. 우리는 하나님이 응답하지 않으실 때 우리의 음성에 귀 기울이지 않는다고 생각하기 쉽습니다. God is still working in our lives in spite of how difficult our situations are. 하나님께서는 우리가 인생의 힘든 역경을 당할 때도 우리와 함께 일하고 계십니다, 우리의 신음소리를 듣고 계십니다. 우리의 형편과 처지를 헤아리고 계십니다. Second, Thomas struggled. 두 번째로 도마는 계속 힘겹게 진실을 찾고 있었다는 점입니다. In my view, those who have so readily exercised judgment against Thomas beyond what is in the text is that they haven’t really understood Thomas. 제 생각에는 쉽게 도마를 비난한 사람들은 진심으로 도마를 이해하지 못한 사람인 것 같습니다. Thomas hadn’t just given up. 도마는 쉽게 포기하는 사람이 아니었습니다. We see this in the fact that Thomas was still meeting with the disciples in spite of his so-called lack of faith. 도마는 믿음이 적었지만 계속해서 제자들을 만나고 있었습니다. This is not an easy road. 이것은 쉬운 일 아닙니다. If you’ve ever been in a place of uncertainty and confusion, you can imagine at least a little bit of what Thomas was struggling with. 만일 여러분은 믿음의 확신이 없고 영적인 혼란 속에 있었다면 끝까지 물고늘어진 도마를 떠올려보면 좋을 것 같습니다. The point here is that he didn’t give up even though he was in a difficult position. 도마는 아무리 힘들어도 결코 포기하지 않는 불요불굴의 제자였던 것입니다. Third, the disciples didn’t reject Thomas. 세 번째로, 제자들은 도마를 거부하지 않았다는 점입니다. We don’t know what Thomas did when he wasn’t with the disciples but when he came back, they welcomed him. 저희는 도마가 제자들과 함께 없었을 때 무엇을 했던지 모르지만 다시 제자들에게 갔을 때 제자들은 도마를 받아주었습니다. They embraced him. 제자들은 도마를 포옹 했습니다. Only the movies we see and the historical research we do can fill in the blanks of what really happened. We also ought to be embracing those who are struggling to believe. 우리도 의심 많은 사람들을 받아주어야 합니다. 함께 은혜를 받지 못한 사람도 영접해 주어야 합니다. Fourth, Jesus came to Thomas. 네 번째로, 예수님께서는 도마를 찾아오셨습니다. Previously, Jesus came to women, then to the other ten disciples and then, in this passage we see that Jesus came to Thomas. 부활하신 예수님은 첫 번째로는 여인들에게 나타나셨고, 다음으로 10(열명의) 제자에게 나타나셨고, 그리고 이 말씀에서 예수님께서는 의심하는 도마에게도 나타나셨습니다. When I was in seminary, my professors emphasized the community aspect of the biblical narrative. 제가 신학대학원생였을 때 교수님들은 저희에게 성경 이야기의 공동체성을 강조했는데, 예수님께서는 개인이 아닌 그룹 속에 오셔서 도마에게 인사하셨습니다. In this story, Jesus came to the group, but he sought out one person, Thomas. 이 이야기에서 예수님께서는 그룹 속에 오셔서 도마라는 한 사람을 찾았습니다. Jesus may not come to us in exactly the same way as he came to Thomas but Jesus does come to us through the Holy Spirit. 지금 예수님께서는 우리에게 도마에게 오는 것처럼 오시지 않고, 성령으로 옵니다. He doesn’t always come in the moment we would like him to come. 예수님께서는 우리가 기대하는 시간이 오지 않을 수 있지만, 그러나 예수님께서는 반드시 오십니다. But he does come. Fifth, when Jesus came, Thomas recognized who he was and Thomas received him. 다섯 번째로, 예수님께서는 도마에게 왔을 때 도마는 예수님이 누구인지 깨닫고 예수님을 영접하였습니다. One way we could misread this story is if we think that Thomas was able to answer every question. 그러나 이 이야기는 도마의 모든 의문이 풀린 것으로 잘못 이해할 수 있습니다. 믿는 것과 모두 아는 것은 다르기 때문입니다. Some historical documents indicate that Thomas tended to emphasize Jesus’ divinity over Jesus physical matter. 어떤 역사 자료는 도마가 예수님의 인성보다 예수님의 신성을 더 강조한다고 제안합니다. Finally, the lesson is about you. 마지막 교훈은 여러분에 대한 것입니다. Blessed are you when you believe in spite of not seeing Jesus. 여러분과 저는 예수님을 본 적이 없지만 그 분을 믿고 있는 축복받은 사람들입니다. Blessed are you when you are believing...continuing to believe in the same Jesus that Thomas believed in. 여러분도 도마처럼 믿을 때 .... 도마가 믿었던 동일한 예수님을 계속해서 믿으면 복이 있습니다. .Blessed are you when you call out to Jesus and you keep calling out to him even when he doesn’t answer. 여러분도 예수님을 부를 때, 그리고 그분이 응답하지 않는 것 같은 상황에서도 그분의 이름을 부르면 복이 있습니다. Blessed are you who struggle to find the answers to your many faith questions. 여러분이 믿음에 대한 질문의 답을 찾고자 애쓸 때 복이 있습니다. Blessed are you who do not reject those who are questioning the claims of the Christian faith community. 여러분이 믿음에 회의가 생긴 사람들을 거부하지 않을 때 복이 있습니다. Blessed are you when Jesus comes to you like he came to Thomas and you are able to recognize who Jesus is and you are able to address him as, “My Lord and my God.” 여러분이 도마처럼 예수님께로 가서 그 분이 어떤 분인지 깨닫고 그 분을 나의 주 나의 하나님으로 고백하면 복이 있을 것입니다. I have to be honest and tell you I have had my moments of disbelief and confusion. 솔직히 말씀 드리면 저도 의심하고 혼란스러워하던 순간이 있었습니다. There are still things that I don’t understand. 지금도 제가 이해할 수 없는 것들도 많이 있습니다. I would imagine some of us here identify with different disciples. 저는 여기 함께 예배하는 우리들도 다양한 제자들의 모습이 있을 것이라고 생각합니다. I’m glad there are different personalities in the bible and that God works with us not in spite of who we are but because of who we are. 저는 성경이 우리의 다양한 모습을 따라 우리와 함께 일하시는 하나님의 여러 모습을 담아, 각각의 독특한 특성이 있음을 기쁘게 생각합니다. This story isn’t just talking about the past. 오늘 본문의 이야기는 그냥 지나간 옛날 이야기가 아닙니다. It is in our bibles today because the writer of John’s gospel was re-telling the story so that people would believe. 그것은 바로 오늘 우리들의 성경입니다. 왜냐하면 요한복음서의 기록자는 예수님을 믿는 자들에게 지금 다시 이야기를 들여주고 있기 때문입니다. That’s why the following verses talk about all the miracles Jesus did. 그 이유는 본문 뒤에 따라오는 예수님께서 행하신 기적이야기에도 나타납니다. This gospel exists to tell others why they should also believe. 이 복음은 다른 사람들에게도 왜 믿음을 가져야만 하는가에 대해 말해주기 위해 존재합니다. But not just because and certainly not a blind faith. 하지만 그냥 믿지 말아야 하고, 맹목적이 아닌 확신에 찬 믿음이어야 합니다. It is a faith that comes after looking at the evidence. 확실한 증거를 본 후에 따라오는 것이 믿음입니다. That’s what Thomas did. 도마가 바로 그렇게 했습니다. It is Easter. 부활절입니다 Alleleuia! 할렐루야! Christ is risen! 예수님께서는 부활하셨습니다. The Lord is risen indeed! 예수님께서는 진짜 부활하셨습니다! Go now and keep calling on the master, the Lord Jesus Christ. 지금부터 계속해서 주 예수 그리스도 주님을 부르십시오. Struggle until God reveals Godself to you in Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit. 하나님이 여러분께 하나님 자신을 그리스도 안에 성령님의 힘으로 나타내시기까지 매달리십시오. Embrace others who are struggling in their pursuit as God pursues them and reveals Godself to them or you. 하나님께서는 그 분이 나타나실 때까지 간절히 사람들에게 나타나실 것이라는 믿음으로 간절히 하나님을 찾고 있는 사람들을 안아주십시오. When Jesus comes to you, don’t be ashamed that you’ve doubted. 예수님께서는 여러분께 오실 때 여러분이 의심했던 것을 부끄럽게 생각하지 마십시오. Be grateful for seeking Jesus and that he has sought you. 여러분이 예수님을 간절히 찾았고, 예수님께서도 여러분을 간절히 찾은 것에 깊이 감사하십시오. Respond to his presence. 그 분이 부르시면 응답하십시오. Finally, believe in what you can’t see not out of naivete but out of conviction, reason and the empirical senses, out of the testimony of those witnesses who walked with him. And become one of those witnesses and tell someone about Jesus, our Lord and our God! 마지막으로 유치한 신앙을 버리고 예수님과 함께 걸어간 믿음의 증인들의 증언을 따라, 더 깊이 생각하고 영적인 감각을 깨워 믿음에 장성함을 이루며, 마침내 보지 않고 믿을 수 있는 믿음의 사람들이 되기를 바랍니다. 그리고 모두가 예수 우리 주님, 우리 하나님을 증언하는 믿음의 증인들이 되시기를 바랍니다. 여러분을 예수님의 이름으로 축복합니다. 아멘

More blessings during Lent

This blog is probably full of lots of complaints of how life isn't going my way. But things have changed since my wife and I had lunch with a family from church. They introduced us to yet another family. When we came home, we were both surprisingly satisfied afterwards. This was a miracle because we have many experiences where I got frustrated because I couldn't understand the conversation and eventually my face turned into a sourpuss look. Our bliss continued yesterday as the week started on Monday (yesterday). It was what I would normally have considered a typical day. But I guess it was the change in pace from a long vacation where I wasn't motivated to prepare for classes for the coming semester. Then I arrived several hours early to teach a class at another location. I went for a long walk nearly all the way home while I waited for the time to pass. Even though I misunderstood the time of the class, I still had a good day meeting students and introducing class to them. Today I had another good day with the highlight being preaching in an English service at the university I teach at. This may be the largest crowd I've ever preached to in all the places where I have preached in Korea OR the US. I'm not sure how much students were able to understand but I heard positive feedback from one student who took my class over winter vacation. Last semester was a difficult transition for my wife and I and we are enjoying this moment of bliss. It's a busier semester, one filled with much more variety. I will post the sermon I preached and you can read it for yourself.

Good news during Lent

Does that sound like an oxymoron? There's a lot on here about how difficult my life is and how I don't see God doing much in my life. But today has been quite the contrary. Granted, I did lose my patience when I couldn't understand a real estate conversation in Korean, we made peace with that thanks to my wife and I had a wonderful day. I was told that it might get my university to approve me working at another university in addition to what I am currently doing. But that turned out not to be the case at all. I was told the number of hours I could work and that has coincided very well with what the university (the second one) has available. Granted we both wanted me to do more, but given schedule conflicts and university policies, I am pleased with the results. I guess time will tell whether or not this is of God but I think I'm going to take a moment right now to thank God for smiling down on me. But right now it doesn't feel like God is smiling DOWN at me as much as God is smiling at me, like we are in the same place at the same time. I've still got an amazing amount of energy. I think I'm going to spend some time thanking God and see if that time surpasses the amount of time I spend complaining that good things don't happen. By the way, I don't think good news during Lent is an oxymoron. To the contrary, I think God wants us to spend some time mopping the floors of our hearts, or perhaps God just wants us to submit to the Spirit's work, so that we can see God smiling at us in the same moment in time, rather than smiling at us from another location and another point in time. I've mopped the floors of my apartment, now I think I need the Holy Spirit cleaning service to do a spic-and-span job on me.

"The Help" by Kathryn Stockett

I just finished reading, "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett. I was introduced to this book by watching the movie with the same title in a movie theater with my wife in South Korea. After the movie was over, we searched to see if there might be a real book that the movie is based off of. Sure enough, there was. The book is definitely better than the movie. To tell you the truth, I have to wonder why so many of the details were changed. I guess it has something to do with the fact that the book is over 500 pages long, contents which would be difficult to compress into a normal-length movie. Both the book and the movie speak to the evils of racism without doing so in an abstract, idealistic way. It just gives you the sense of, "That's right", leaving viewers oblivious to this reality in the dark. I wanted to express this to my wife but it dawned on me that this is a reality that you can't so easily comment on without experiencing it yourself. To tell you the truth, the most tear-jerking moments for me have been in the moments where reconciliation took place. Even though I have watched the movie at least five times, I am inevitably full of tears at the moment when Skeeter's mom tells her she's proud of her daughter for bringing courage back into the family. One of the coolest things about this book is that it includes the vernacular of black Americans. I confess that when I first tried to express this to my wife, I said that the grammar was wrong. But after hearing myself say that out loud, I corrected myself to say this is the vernacular of black Americans. This story has given me hope and reminded me of my own experiences with racial reconciliation and the blessings that lie therein. I see myself the most in Skeeter and I wonder why she had to leave. I also left my scenario. I thought it would be on a very temporary basis but one choice led to another and now my life is in South Korea where I see a need for reconciliation of another kind between Koreans and foreigners. NPR.org recommends this book with the following quote on the front: "This could be one of the most important pieces of fiction since To Kill a Mockingbird...If you read only one book....let this be it." I concur with this wholeheartedly. I hope many books of this kind follow with not just a hope of reconciliation being possible but a reality.