Talk is cheap...except when it is about sending Mom home

Mom woke up this morning with nausea like she has been doing for the last few days. For some reason she hasn't felt real well today, along with a few other patients on the floor. On the positive side, one of her physical therapists said that she thought Mom would be going home soon so she started talking to Mom about what Mom might want at home (i.e. a chair in the bathtub etc.). They say it will be a few days but it seems that they are making progress with Mom. The dilemma of how to take care of Mom's wound care seems to be the main issue keeping Mom in the hospital. I don't think there is any rush since Mom isn't feeling real well today and since her eating isn't too strong, yet. Still, things seem to be coming along and I'm looking forward to the day when Mom will be ready to go home. She is looking forward to that day, too. It's always encouraging when people start talking about sending the patient home. The PT put Mom on independent today, which means she's able to get up and go to the bathroom as well as walk on her own.

I've been thinking today about how many different nationalities have been represented through the nursing staff at this hospital. Of course, there have been American citizens of various skin colors as well as people from other countries. So far, Mom has also been served by one nurse from Nigeria, one from Mexico and one from the Philippines. I envied her when she talked about eating white rice for lunch. There is also the hospitalist from Ethiopia.

I worked at the family business this afternoon. Dad wanted me to clean the counter but all I ended up doing was spreading everything on the counter and wiping the dust off. At least I was able to clean all the dust off the fan in the office. Then when Bruce came to ask me for help I was very short with him for some reason. He wanted me to help him move a van that has a mechanical problem and I didn't think about how hard I pulled on the chain when I drove the van and I wasn't sure what he wanted me to do. I acted like I knew what to do and then I got mad at him for not being more specific. Then I wondered why I got mad at him and apologized an hour later.

I've been disconcerted since yesterday when I chatted with Sinae for a few minutes and neither of us were very good at communicating. What I was telling her didn't line up with what I e-mailed her a few days ago and so she thought I was lying to her. Well, she agreed when I said she thought I was lying. But I am still wondering if "lie" means something different to her than the classic definition of intentionally misleading someone. I haven't heard from Sinae so I'm waiting for her to respond to my e-mail. It may that nothing is wrong from her end. It's very difficult to have this kind of issue as far apart as we are from each other. But perhaps there are some things lying underneath the issue that we need to talk about.

I think I better get some phone numbers for my friend Gil-Jun who wants to study at a university in America soon. Let me know if I haven't responded to your e-mail. Thanks for reading this blog, regardless of whether or not you leave a comment.

Losing Things Can Be A Good Thing

I think I wrote yesterday that the PT had Mom walk without a walker yesterday but the nurses kept using a walker with Mom. But today was a new day. They took the walker out of her room and started letting her handle her wound vac (It must way somewhere around ten pounds). I went walking with her tonight without a nurse or CNA so I believe she is making progress. She told Bruce (when I was in the room) that her bleeding had stopped so I think that gives her some relief and she seems to be stronger tonight though she still seems to be extremely tired.

She's telling me I can go home if I want which I think is probably a subtle hint that she wants me to go home. I'll look forward to writing more good news tomorrow.

Blessings!

TCU: Day (I'm not sure how many now)

I think I missed a day or two in keeping this blog up to date. Things feel like they are progressing a little more slowly and there hasn't been too much excitement so perhaps I felt less of a need to update this blog. Thanks to my Uncle Leland for asking me about Mom to remind me to post something here.

It seems that Mom has a problem with bleeding when she is on the blood thinner called Coumadin. A doctor who came in to see Mom today said he thought it may be because of Mom's hemorrhoids which were discovered ten years ago. Her nurse gave her a suppository and she seems to be doing better now though she has been sleeping a lot today.

Mom's progress seems to be coming right along though it seems to be going rather slow. But for being in the hospital for a little over two weeks, she has come a long way. I saw her walk without a walker today and I heard the PT say that she doesn't think Mom needs a walker anymore. Of course the nurses still have her use her walker to go to the bathroom and that sort of thing, probably just for safety.

Sometimes Mom seems discouraged because of how long the process of recovery is and how tired she gets. I came to visit her at 6:30 tonight and after we had some casual conversation she fell into a deep sleep and didn't wake up until Dad came around 8.

The doctor who came to see her today told her he thought she would probably be going home soon but he didn't specify how long "soon" would be. I think I have said before that the people taking care of Mom's incision are going to have a meeting on Tuesday to see about how they should advise Mom to take care of her incision. Because of the wound vac, she has to change the sponge once every three days. They would like her to do that but she is not sure she can handle that. They also need to train her on how to take care of her colostomy bag. So I would imagine it will be a few days left. I think we'd all be satisfied if she could be ready to come home by early next week. Notice I said "ready". We don't want to rush her coming home so that she has to be re-admitted to the hospital.

In response to my dilemma a week ago, I found a way to go to church today while also being with my mom in the morning. I thought that if I could find a church that has a service at 8am I could receive grace while also extending it to my mom. Then I remembered a church that I have driven by many Sundays through the years in my hometown because it is the way to the church I grew up in. Since that church doesn't have an 8am service and other reasons (I like the Anglican tradition which I have experienced in America and Korea and I wanted to receive grace through communion) I decided to go to Trinity Episcopal Church. The Rector talked about how we really cannot call anything "our own", which reminded me what a gift both Mom and Sinae, among other people and things" are to me and that I don't have a "right" to any of the relationships or the people or things that are in my life now. After I received communion I went to one of the prayer ministry teams to ask them to pray for my mom. The Rector also told me to come back if I can make the commute from South Korea to my hometown in America (This was a funny joke at the time).

Transitional Care Unit (TCU): Day 1

Yesterday evening, they finally transferred Mom to the Transitional Care Unit (TCU). I first learned about this unit through a patient I met on the elevator who is probably around my age, who was wheeling himself around in a wheelchair. He broke my stereotypes of someone with blue hair and a patch over his eye. It turns out he is a very positive person and extremely easy to talk to. In fact, sometimes I end up talking with him as long as I talk to my mom. I'm glad for him that he gets to go home today. I'm sure he could use your prayers. I don't know much about his background, and am not sure it would be appropriate to share his name due to confidentiality laws. I just saw him get on the elevator to go home.

One of the hospitalists (A physician working in the hospital) came to visit Mom this morning. She is the doctor who examined Mom before the surgeon came in and shortly after that decided it was time to operate on Mom. At that time, Mom could hardly get out of bed. She thought Mom had made quite a bit of progress and didn't seem to think Mom would next an extreme amount of rehab. Someone told her that she'd probably be here 10 to 14 days, but one nurse told me some people are here for less time than that while others are here longer than that. The physician is concerned about the swelling in Mom's feet and legs so hopefully they will put Mom on some kind of water pill to take care of that. It is also disconcerting that they have to keep a close eye on Mom's blood sugar but the doctor (By the way, this doctor happens to be a woman. Something I think is worth mentioning, don't you?:) said that if she didn't have diabetes before her body should be able to regulate sugar later. The thing we don't know for certain is how long that will be. So we will continue to wait and take things a day at a time.

Have I mentioned that I am reading "Letters to God" to Mom at night. This is fun for me because it gives me a chance to continue practicing my acting skills. For those of you who don't know this, my students and Sinae think I'm quite an actor. Now, don't take this too seriously but it is a fun way to show the differences in intonation. On a more serious note, I find this book to be a means for me to think through the process I've seen with Mom. So far in the book, the father/husband was killed when he had a head-on collision with a drunk driver. In the book, his wife has a lot of questions about why this happened. I suppose that somewhere deep down inside, behind all the busyness of visiting Mom and helping out around home, there is this part of me who wonders this same thing.

Last night, I received grace by talking with Sinae. I find myself in constant bewilderment about how this relationship continues to take place. I am so grateful for the relationship I have with her. I don't think this is simply a case of me being grateful for a relationship with just any woman, but with one woman in particular. I like her approach to dealing with problems and her openness to having a relationship with me. If you know me at all, you know I'm not the easiest person to be around, what with all my seriousness and the many questions I have. Sometimes these questions scare her, but after thinking through things some, she comes around. She has been quite a blessing to me over the 8 or 9 months.

The last day on the surgical unit and then on to the rehab unit

Today was a much better day for Mom, which I think she deserves after a worrisome night wondering why she was bleeding so much. After pooping out some blood clots her bleeding stopped and the doctors think they just had her blood too thin.

Why might they be moving her, you ask? She went for a walk in the hall for the first time today and a CNA and I went with her on her second walk. She walked on her own with the walker while the CNA pushed her IV pole which is only holding the wound vac.

There is some question about which rehab unit Mom will go to. Whichever unit she is transferred to, we hope they will work with her several hours each day and that that will be her last stop before she goes home. But nonetheless, we are hopeful that the hospital staff is wise in their decisions and that Mom's progress will be slowly but surely.

I thought I would get Mom's pantry all organized this afternoon but for some reason I was lacking in energy this afternoon. I tried eating some "mini chimis" (Miniature chimichangas) which were apparently lacking in protein to my surprise. After taking a long nap (about an hour or so) I emptied out her pantry and am hoping to put everything away before I go to bed tonight. There are more things to do but I am getting things done one day at a time. Getting work done around the house (mobile home if you are talking to Dad) also gives me confidence and a nice break from sitting around most of the day.

Thanks for your comments, thoughts and prayers.

When things get bumpy...

Things were looking really good with Mom this morning. After getting 2 pints of blood last night she was stronger and she even walked to the bathroom mostly on her own. She felt a lot better after that. One of the CNAs said that she turned a major corner.

Then I went to get some TV dinners for the family business and that's when my wheels started squeaking somewhere. I stopped at Brakes Plus, which was on the way to Wal-Mart (Just so you know, I was spending someone else's money and they wanted me to go to Wal-Mart). They didn't have time to look at my car then so they recommended I make an appointment. I asked for a card and said I'd call later if I want to make an appointment. I proceeded on to Wal-Mart to buy 26 TV dinners. Mom tried calling me once but she couldn't hear me because of the bad reception (I still don't understand this concept after living in Korea). I proceeded to select TV dinners and as I was waiting to pay for the tv dinners Mom called me again and told me she was bleeding. I finished buying the food, called JoAnn to see what she thought I should do, and then I executively decided to put the food in the freezer and then come to the hospital.

When I got here, a doctor was examining Mom so the nurse asked me (More like, told me) to stay outside the room. He then contacted the surgeon (who by the way has a very good reputation among the nurses and the doctor who examined her today). We are waiting for the blood test and the surgeon to finish surgery (That is, we are waiting for the blood test results and we are waiting for the surgeon to finish doing surgery on a patient, just in case there are any wisenheimers out there).

Mom is feeling a little more relaxed after the nurse told her that when she used the restroom she only lost an amount of blood equivalent to a woman's period. This helped Mom relax some, though she is feeling pain like she felt before she had surgery.

Thanks for your prayers.

No move to therapy today, but maybe tomorrow.

We thought they might be moving Mom to the TCU (Transitional Care Unit) but they decided not to since Mom is still on a catheter and she is still using pain medicine through the IV. She needs to be more able to get up and walk to the bathroom in order to lose her catheter so hopefully they will get her to that point today. Otherwise Mom is doing well as far as her recovery is concerned.

Mom is a little discouraged because she is still not able to walk further than it takes to get to the chair. I, too, am a little frustrated with this unit because the surgeon put her here in order for them to get her up and going but they have been pretty easy on her. Last Thursday, nobody came from PT (Physical Therapy) and on Friday a woman who was 8 months pregnant came but she couldn't work with Mom other than telling Mom to do exercises with her legs because she is so far along in her pregnancy and she didn't come with another person who could help her with therapy. I told a nurse about that today and she was going to check into that. I'll be more than happy to help Mom along as far as walking is concerned. She stood for a long time yesterday with the help of a walker so I'm not seeing why they are taking things so easy with her. She has been sitting up in a chair quite a bit so I think she is getting stronger. She just needs more personal attention in my opinion. She didn't feel like getting up the first time in ICU but she had to because they made her.

I guess my job isn't to tell people what their job is. I'm just comparing with my own experience (granted I was about 40 years younger) and what I have heard from others. I saw an elderly woman walking with a therapist today in the therapy unit and I think Mom is in much better condition than her.

Sorry...there I go complaining again. I better follow my Uncle Leland's advice and focus on faith today. Faith in Mom's ability to recover, faith in the process (Sinae's favorite word), faith in those who are responsible for seeing Mom to good health, and of course, faith in God. It's just hard to see Mom as discouraged as she is. Nonetheless, she is doing a whole lot better than she was a week ago. We are just waiting in anticipation for the next step.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to get things rolling with getting things organized for when she does get home. Of course, I'd like to do basic cleaning like making sure all the newspapers have been recycles and that the bathroom and kitchen are clean. But I also want to organize her pantry, defrost her freezer in the kitchen, organize a drawer in the dining room and organize the cabinets in the bathroom. If we do all of these things, Mom will not be overwhelmed with the condition of her home and she will be able to focus on getting well. I'm also hoping Dad can get rid of a card table that he uses for doing some of his paperwork which will make it much easier for Mom to get around.

I think there are a lot of people who are ready, willing and able to help and I hope we can put all of them to good use. I just need to make a list of how we can best use you so that all of us feel satisfied and not frustrated. If you are able to tell me what you would like to do and when, I will try to work out a schedule so that your service to Mom is fulfilling and not too exhausting.

I am thankful for all of you (most of which are probably not reading this blog) for the ways you are expressing your concern to Mom. I think she is probably amazed at all the people who care for her. She couldn't believe that both of her brothers and their spouse and children (Jeff's children I mean) came 150 miles from their home to be with her and her family in the middle of harvest. I think she needs to be reminded of how important she is to all of us, including God himself.

Hmm...I feel much better now after focusing on the positive. While I am hanging around with Mom at the hospital I am thinking about lots of things. I'm thinking about my relationship with Sinae, how I can teach English better in South Korea, my life in South Korea, what it's like to be in America for longer than I have been for a while, and the mystery of me being so comfortable in the hospital. As you know, I have this crazy vision for helping those who can't help themselves and I see the hospital as one place that is doing that in the most amazing way. Interestingly enough, the hospital is an institution that probably has more politics than I could handle myself. So I am thinking about how this might be a place where I could help people. I could get involved in a hospital as a Chaplain, which wouldn't require more degrees or I could get involved in some other aspect of the hospital which may require another degree and might open more possibilities outside of the United States.

Right now, the most important thing to me is being with my mom and family now, but continuing my relationship with Sinae for a long time (my vote is forever) and to continue doing things outside of the United States while also visiting the US once or twice a year.

Sorry for the overload. I keep meaning to post more of my reflections about living in America. I'll try to do that soon.

Thanks for everything.