A Long Life

It seems this is my go-to place for crises events. And my purpose for writing this post is no different. Perhaps I am in shock but I feel at peace regarding the passing of my friend and grandfather, Glen William Michael. A quick Google search pulls up his address in the country where he was not able to live for some time. He has spent the last several years in the nursing home. He has been enduring recovery from some type of a hip surgery (some type means he didn't have his full hip replaced). Three or four weeks ago, he started this fight for recovery. He hit a few hard spots in the road and with a fight against UTI and his kidneys (allegedly), without knowing the official cause of his death, he passed away today, Thursday, July 30th, 2020 at 2:00pm, or somewhere around there. I always figured that as long as he and my lifelong pastor, Jim Christy, were around, I could endure life in this cold cruel world and now I have lost one of my lifelines (my Grandma Eva Michael was one of those but she passed away some time ago, in the early 2000s, perhaps around 2002). One of my friends told me to write him a letter (I never got around to that since I was told he wasn't able to read and had lost his recognition of people he saw frequently, let alone someone like me who was only able to visit him once every few years as a result of living abroad) and tell him my three favorite memories about him. That is just two hard to do. So instead, I think I'll spend the coming days writing a memory a day. I'll also post a link to his obituary when that comes out. For now, I'm going to start with three memories that come to mind. 1. He did a headstand when I was a kid which impressed me because even in his fifties or sixties he was better at it than me. 2. His walk. There was something graceful about his walk. With knee problems which he said went back to his football days in college, he was a bit of a slow walker but he surpassed me when I was recovering from my second surgery where I was treated for a ruptured appendicitis. 3. Devotions with Grandma and Grandpa. This is the most meaningful memory I have because Grandma and Grandpa Michael let me into their most personal space, their spiritual life. We would read the bible and "Our Daily Bread" and then we'd each say a prayer. Grandma's prayer was pretty routine and reverent, praying for all of their three kids and their families. I think she would start with something like, "We thank thee our heavenly Father..." I don't remember how Grandpa would start but I remember he would always use King James English which I loved to hear because it reminded me of how high above us God is and how much Grandpa feared (aka respected) God. I know we have lots of speculations and so-called experiences of the after-life. I'm not going to be presumptuous but I'm going to follow the advice of one of my philosophy professors who said, "We entrust our loved ones to our heavenly father" and so I give my beloved Grandpa Michael to God Almighty, who knows how much Grandpa feared and loved/fears and loves God.

Goodbye Friend

I sit here in shock tonight as I have heard the news that my second cousin once removed (my dad's cousin) has passed away. I tried to reach him by phone and he didn't answer. I tried to text him several times but I never received a response. It's funny how these kinds of events make one re-examine one's choices. I recently visited the US with my wife, son and mother-in-law. At that time it seemed so much more important to visit Los Angeles, Hollywood, San Francisco, Yosemite National Park, family in Colorado and the Grand Canyon than it was to say goodbye to a relative who was more like a friend. I heard the 3-month prognosis but I guess I naively assumed it would be longer than 3 months. Oh, how things would be different if I had only known. His name was Ward Dirks. I was told long ago that he and I were a lot alike in our personalities. I thought that was cool. And we always had a lot to talk about. I wasn't sure we always agreed politically, but that didn't seem to be the most important thing. What was important to Ward was people knowing God, in Christ, by the Holy Spirit. If there is one word I'd use to describe my relationship with Ward it would be, "support." There are two events in my life that he and my Great Aunt Jeannine were supportive of: (1) Graduation from seminary and (2) applying for an associate pastor position in Ohio. We talked many times after that, but unfortunately not enough. It was difficult to manage the time difference between South Korea and Indiana so we talked once on a holiday. I've been so far removed from the situation that I didn't realize how far downhill he'd gone until I saw a picture on Facebook. Then when I heard the news from my brother Bruce today it was another shock. Then seeing a picture with his older daughter bidding farewell it really hit home. What I really need is a shoulder to cry on but I don't get that luxury living so far away from any family member who feels the same pain. So I express it here. I always doubt whether I can make much of a difference in this world but when I think of people like Ward, I guess I'm convinced that I'm wrong, that one person can indeed make a difference. I can't help but look at the lessons of Ward's life. We tend to dwell on the goodness of people when they die but the fact is none of us is perfect and I think it's fair to say Ward had his wild times in his younger days. I don't know when the change happened but I do believe he found the abundant life Jesus spoke of as recorded in the New Testament. I believe it was John Wesley who said something to the effect of, "Don't just show me your theology but show me the life behind your theology and then I'll believe it." And I think Ward would bid us all to take another look at what we're doing and why. And for those who were closest to him, it is a reminder that we don't have to go down the same wild path to find true life but we can learn from his life and we can start down the narrow road sooner and go down it longer. Whether or not that means we get a longer life or not, that seems inconsequential. Because as was said of another friend who passed away sooner than one would expect, "It is not the years in your life that count but the life in your years." So here's to Ward and a more meaningful, deeper plunge into the abundant life without all the detours that take us away from the abundant life.

A Fundraiser For An Individual

I am writing this post long after I should have. You see, I'm trying to raise money for a friend who is studying at the university where I teach and lead an international ministry. He is somewhat involved in that ministry. He received the dreaded news that his father had passed away without being able to say goodbye to his dad. I thought we'd have more time to raise money but it turns out that his family has changed the funeral date without much consent from him and the difficulties of him buying a ticket previously and having to pay $80 to change his flight ticket. On top of that, he has the burden of paying for the funeral costs. We are trying to raise money for him and cannot do it without your help. I know the dilemmas of donating. We always wonder where our money is going and whether or not it is a scam. Believe me, I've been reticent to give in the past, myself. But I believe he is worth the risk. This may sound like a scam but it is not. He's just in a less than ideal situation and needs our help. If you are inclined to give, please visit this website. https://www.crowdrise.com/flight-home-to-attend-dads-funeral-and-family-contribution/fundraiser/brentdirks And if you are not, please pray that God will incline others to give so he can be with his family during this time burden-free. Thanks!

"Foreigner"

I have lived in South Korea for over eight years now and there is still one word that gives me goosebumps every time I hear it: "foreigner". I remember when I first came here and I had children call me 외국인 (the Korean word for "foreigner). I eventually called them 한국인 (the Korean word for "Korean") but I don't think it had the same effect. Within the last few years, I've heard students speak of the people who are citizens of the countries they visit (i.e. the UK) as "foreigners" and I remind them that when they went to the UK they were the "foreigners". I took the picture above when I was in a bit of a bad mood. I don't remember the issue but obviously I felt sour about Koreans and general. I took this picture at the largest amusement/theme park in South Korea called "Everland". I presume the intention was originally good that there is a special place for people from other countries to get assistance. But while recognizing the potentially good intention, being in a bad mood it made me think of this almost as segregation like, "The same office that serves Koreans can't serve non-Koreans". I think I'm going to show students this picture as evidence that there are others ways to go about this. I recommend saying "people from other countries" or "non-Koreans". Even though non-Koreans living in South Korea refer to themselves as foreigners sometimes I think this expression should be avoided especially in professional cirucmstances. Instead of "foreigners" why not say, "International Assistance"? Or better yet, why not have the same office serve people from all countries, including South Koreans? If English truly is as important as South Koreans seem to think it is, that wouldn't be an unrealistic expectation.

A Grace-filled Day!

I used to post everything that was going on, on my blog. I even think that some of my former colleagues read what I wrote here and misunderstood. That along with hearing news about people whose careers had ended because of social networking made me think I should be more careful about what I post. As I was thinking about today, it dawned on me that I should write about something good that happened to me today. It is all rather mysterious. I went to sleep late last night (2am) and woke up at 8am this morning. I expected it to be a rough day (sleep deprivation and attending church in a foreign language don't usually end well for me). But it turned out to be a good day. Rather than remain seated during my cell group's meeting, I walked around (having a ten-month-old baby has its advantages). This enabled me to interact with more people than I usually do. Then, for the service, rather than assume my position attached to Sinae (my wife) I decided to be bold and leave her and Uri (my ten-month-old son) in the nursery with another mom and baby while I participated in the worship service in the sanctuary. Today, a missionary serving in Oman spoke. I certainly couldn't understand everything but I just had a sense of what he must be struggling with as I considered my struggles in South Korea and how my struggles are probably nothing compared to what he experiences. After that we had lunch together (without my cell group leader because he had a meeting). For some crazy reason I was really energetic and had a good time. Eventually Sinae and the other two ladies got into an historical (or perhaps hysterical) conversation. I decided to bow out, realize I wouldn't be able to understand and just enjoyed the moment with Uri. After that, we headed home and dropped by a coffee shop to see a couple we've become friends with. She's Korean and he's American so both Sinae and I were comfortable talking to the other person from our home country in our native language. They are getting ready to have a baby and it was interesting hearing their perspective (by the way, we really didn't talk about the baby all that much, at least not us guys). We then came home and I gave Uri a bath. Not too long after that he fell asleep and I revised the script for my club tomorrow which I first wrote in English based on the "Lifetree Cafe" ministry video put out by Group Publishing. Perhaps I can talk about that process next time. The script is in Korean and English so I had to ask lots of language exchange partners for help. They have been very generous. Here's to more days like this. I give the triune God honor and glory for today and pray for more of these to come.

Touched

I tried assigning students a portfolio this semester for the first time. Rather than having students submit a portfolio for me to sort through later, they had to show it to me during class. I've only done one day of this and the results were surprising. Three students in particular stand out: Suhyeon, Yuncheol and Hyunjoon. Suhyeon first struck me as a student who wasn't all that interested in class. While that made me uncomfortable I kept trying to have conversation with her as well as other students on a one-on-one basis. Little-by-little she seemed to open up. I was surprised to hear her tell me via her "My Section" in her portfolio that she enjoyed the class because I made it fun and that she was sad to see the class end. Yuncheol had a much more dramatic "My Section" in which he explained his background and why he isn't as good as other students at speaking English. He was a student I had serious misunderstandings about during the early part of the semester. That all changed when he told me about his personal life, including preparation for his wedding. At that point I realized I totally misunderstood him. But after hearing him talk during his portfolio time I realized how devastating it must be when I get upset with students. I've tried over and over not to get upset but I fail every semester. Hyunjoon's discussion was less dramatic but his point was similar. Apparently I got frustrated with him especially during quizzes when he wasn't able to produce the target language. I seriously think I overlooked this student because he isn't as dynamic as other students. He said during his portfolio time that he also felt frustrated with himself. I remembered that I was just like him when I was a student but my professors didn't get mad at me. I wasn't sure how the portfolio thing would work out but I really like it because it gives students a chance to express themselves in ways they couldn't during the semester. I really hope these three students will become instruments to remind me of the devastating effects anger from a foreigner can have on Korean students. I've been thinking a lot about God's voice lately. I didn't hear God's voice audibly but I most certainly heard God saying to me, "See what happens when you get angry with students?" I also heard God saying, "See what an opportunity you have?" I've been thinking a lot about conversation ever since I took a Continuing Education class on evangelism where the focus was on building relationships with people in such a way that I earn the right for people to listen to me. I've been struggling with the realization that I myself am not very good at building relationships which makes it very ironic that I am teaching conversation classes. I hear God saying, "Instead of wishing you could be somewhere else or do something else make the most of the opportunity to learn how to have conversations with students."

Relational Evangelism

I just finished a course on Evangelism through Northwest Nazarene University, my alma mater, taught by Robert Luhn. I didn't have very high expectations of this continuing education course but it had a very big impact on me. We talked about a lot of different issues ranging from motivations for evangelism, narrative, table fellowship, power evangelism, and being the message. I think the most surprising part of this course was power evangelism. This is where I interacted with ideas consistent with a dear friend living overseas who had already told me about the ways that God is moving. It seems that people are pulling away from their classical Protestant roots of thinking that God only speaks through scripture. Both forces have begun to open me up to this avenue. My friend whom I mentioned previously has been coaching me a little bit on how to pray in a way that I might be able to hear God's voice. I was focusing on hearing actual sentences and nothing happened but as I've thought more in terms of images, even I've had some curious experiences. Much of those experiences seem to center around one place on the campus where I teach. There are numerous benches (Ironically, I think I've seen students making out there), lots of trees and the place is mostly green. For me it has become a sanctuary. Last week, I went for a run, something I haven't done for a long time but was motivated to do because my back was hurting, possibly from holding Uri (my six-month-old boy) so much. I didn't really plan the route but it just worked out that I came across my "sanctuary". When I came to that place I had such a sense of God's presence. I just sat there as I felt the energy. Before I left, I sang a song I learned as a teenager that goes like this: Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary pure and holy, trite and true. With thanksgiving, I'll be a living sanctuary, for you. As I left that place, I felt as if God was saying, "Where are you going? I'll be right here." Unfortunately, last week I was busy with the class I took but now that I have finished that I hope to return to that place and be able to hear God's voice so that I can know God more and tell others about God. They need God's grace and so do I. Thank you, Dear Friend!