Goodbye Friend

I sit here in shock tonight as I have heard the news that my second cousin once removed (my dad's cousin) has passed away. I tried to reach him by phone and he didn't answer. I tried to text him several times but I never received a response. It's funny how these kinds of events make one re-examine one's choices. I recently visited the US with my wife, son and mother-in-law. At that time it seemed so much more important to visit Los Angeles, Hollywood, San Francisco, Yosemite National Park, family in Colorado and the Grand Canyon than it was to say goodbye to a relative who was more like a friend. I heard the 3-month prognosis but I guess I naively assumed it would be longer than 3 months. Oh, how things would be different if I had only known. His name was Ward Dirks. I was told long ago that he and I were a lot alike in our personalities. I thought that was cool. And we always had a lot to talk about. I wasn't sure we always agreed politically, but that didn't seem to be the most important thing. What was important to Ward was people knowing God, in Christ, by the Holy Spirit. If there is one word I'd use to describe my relationship with Ward it would be, "support." There are two events in my life that he and my Great Aunt Jeannine were supportive of: (1) Graduation from seminary and (2) applying for an associate pastor position in Ohio. We talked many times after that, but unfortunately not enough. It was difficult to manage the time difference between South Korea and Indiana so we talked once on a holiday. I've been so far removed from the situation that I didn't realize how far downhill he'd gone until I saw a picture on Facebook. Then when I heard the news from my brother Bruce today it was another shock. Then seeing a picture with his older daughter bidding farewell it really hit home. What I really need is a shoulder to cry on but I don't get that luxury living so far away from any family member who feels the same pain. So I express it here. I always doubt whether I can make much of a difference in this world but when I think of people like Ward, I guess I'm convinced that I'm wrong, that one person can indeed make a difference. I can't help but look at the lessons of Ward's life. We tend to dwell on the goodness of people when they die but the fact is none of us is perfect and I think it's fair to say Ward had his wild times in his younger days. I don't know when the change happened but I do believe he found the abundant life Jesus spoke of as recorded in the New Testament. I believe it was John Wesley who said something to the effect of, "Don't just show me your theology but show me the life behind your theology and then I'll believe it." And I think Ward would bid us all to take another look at what we're doing and why. And for those who were closest to him, it is a reminder that we don't have to go down the same wild path to find true life but we can learn from his life and we can start down the narrow road sooner and go down it longer. Whether or not that means we get a longer life or not, that seems inconsequential. Because as was said of another friend who passed away sooner than one would expect, "It is not the years in your life that count but the life in your years." So here's to Ward and a more meaningful, deeper plunge into the abundant life without all the detours that take us away from the abundant life.

A Fundraiser For An Individual

I am writing this post long after I should have. You see, I'm trying to raise money for a friend who is studying at the university where I teach and lead an international ministry. He is somewhat involved in that ministry. He received the dreaded news that his father had passed away without being able to say goodbye to his dad. I thought we'd have more time to raise money but it turns out that his family has changed the funeral date without much consent from him and the difficulties of him buying a ticket previously and having to pay $80 to change his flight ticket. On top of that, he has the burden of paying for the funeral costs. We are trying to raise money for him and cannot do it without your help. I know the dilemmas of donating. We always wonder where our money is going and whether or not it is a scam. Believe me, I've been reticent to give in the past, myself. But I believe he is worth the risk. This may sound like a scam but it is not. He's just in a less than ideal situation and needs our help. If you are inclined to give, please visit this website. https://www.crowdrise.com/flight-home-to-attend-dads-funeral-and-family-contribution/fundraiser/brentdirks And if you are not, please pray that God will incline others to give so he can be with his family during this time burden-free. Thanks!

"Foreigner"

I have lived in South Korea for over eight years now and there is still one word that gives me goosebumps every time I hear it: "foreigner". I remember when I first came here and I had children call me 외국인 (the Korean word for "foreigner). I eventually called them 한국인 (the Korean word for "Korean") but I don't think it had the same effect. Within the last few years, I've heard students speak of the people who are citizens of the countries they visit (i.e. the UK) as "foreigners" and I remind them that when they went to the UK they were the "foreigners". I took the picture above when I was in a bit of a bad mood. I don't remember the issue but obviously I felt sour about Koreans and general. I took this picture at the largest amusement/theme park in South Korea called "Everland". I presume the intention was originally good that there is a special place for people from other countries to get assistance. But while recognizing the potentially good intention, being in a bad mood it made me think of this almost as segregation like, "The same office that serves Koreans can't serve non-Koreans". I think I'm going to show students this picture as evidence that there are others ways to go about this. I recommend saying "people from other countries" or "non-Koreans". Even though non-Koreans living in South Korea refer to themselves as foreigners sometimes I think this expression should be avoided especially in professional cirucmstances. Instead of "foreigners" why not say, "International Assistance"? Or better yet, why not have the same office serve people from all countries, including South Koreans? If English truly is as important as South Koreans seem to think it is, that wouldn't be an unrealistic expectation.

A Grace-filled Day!

I used to post everything that was going on, on my blog. I even think that some of my former colleagues read what I wrote here and misunderstood. That along with hearing news about people whose careers had ended because of social networking made me think I should be more careful about what I post. As I was thinking about today, it dawned on me that I should write about something good that happened to me today. It is all rather mysterious. I went to sleep late last night (2am) and woke up at 8am this morning. I expected it to be a rough day (sleep deprivation and attending church in a foreign language don't usually end well for me). But it turned out to be a good day. Rather than remain seated during my cell group's meeting, I walked around (having a ten-month-old baby has its advantages). This enabled me to interact with more people than I usually do. Then, for the service, rather than assume my position attached to Sinae (my wife) I decided to be bold and leave her and Uri (my ten-month-old son) in the nursery with another mom and baby while I participated in the worship service in the sanctuary. Today, a missionary serving in Oman spoke. I certainly couldn't understand everything but I just had a sense of what he must be struggling with as I considered my struggles in South Korea and how my struggles are probably nothing compared to what he experiences. After that we had lunch together (without my cell group leader because he had a meeting). For some crazy reason I was really energetic and had a good time. Eventually Sinae and the other two ladies got into an historical (or perhaps hysterical) conversation. I decided to bow out, realize I wouldn't be able to understand and just enjoyed the moment with Uri. After that, we headed home and dropped by a coffee shop to see a couple we've become friends with. She's Korean and he's American so both Sinae and I were comfortable talking to the other person from our home country in our native language. They are getting ready to have a baby and it was interesting hearing their perspective (by the way, we really didn't talk about the baby all that much, at least not us guys). We then came home and I gave Uri a bath. Not too long after that he fell asleep and I revised the script for my club tomorrow which I first wrote in English based on the "Lifetree Cafe" ministry video put out by Group Publishing. Perhaps I can talk about that process next time. The script is in Korean and English so I had to ask lots of language exchange partners for help. They have been very generous. Here's to more days like this. I give the triune God honor and glory for today and pray for more of these to come.

Touched

I tried assigning students a portfolio this semester for the first time. Rather than having students submit a portfolio for me to sort through later, they had to show it to me during class. I've only done one day of this and the results were surprising. Three students in particular stand out: Suhyeon, Yuncheol and Hyunjoon. Suhyeon first struck me as a student who wasn't all that interested in class. While that made me uncomfortable I kept trying to have conversation with her as well as other students on a one-on-one basis. Little-by-little she seemed to open up. I was surprised to hear her tell me via her "My Section" in her portfolio that she enjoyed the class because I made it fun and that she was sad to see the class end. Yuncheol had a much more dramatic "My Section" in which he explained his background and why he isn't as good as other students at speaking English. He was a student I had serious misunderstandings about during the early part of the semester. That all changed when he told me about his personal life, including preparation for his wedding. At that point I realized I totally misunderstood him. But after hearing him talk during his portfolio time I realized how devastating it must be when I get upset with students. I've tried over and over not to get upset but I fail every semester. Hyunjoon's discussion was less dramatic but his point was similar. Apparently I got frustrated with him especially during quizzes when he wasn't able to produce the target language. I seriously think I overlooked this student because he isn't as dynamic as other students. He said during his portfolio time that he also felt frustrated with himself. I remembered that I was just like him when I was a student but my professors didn't get mad at me. I wasn't sure how the portfolio thing would work out but I really like it because it gives students a chance to express themselves in ways they couldn't during the semester. I really hope these three students will become instruments to remind me of the devastating effects anger from a foreigner can have on Korean students. I've been thinking a lot about God's voice lately. I didn't hear God's voice audibly but I most certainly heard God saying to me, "See what happens when you get angry with students?" I also heard God saying, "See what an opportunity you have?" I've been thinking a lot about conversation ever since I took a Continuing Education class on evangelism where the focus was on building relationships with people in such a way that I earn the right for people to listen to me. I've been struggling with the realization that I myself am not very good at building relationships which makes it very ironic that I am teaching conversation classes. I hear God saying, "Instead of wishing you could be somewhere else or do something else make the most of the opportunity to learn how to have conversations with students."

Relational Evangelism

I just finished a course on Evangelism through Northwest Nazarene University, my alma mater, taught by Robert Luhn. I didn't have very high expectations of this continuing education course but it had a very big impact on me. We talked about a lot of different issues ranging from motivations for evangelism, narrative, table fellowship, power evangelism, and being the message. I think the most surprising part of this course was power evangelism. This is where I interacted with ideas consistent with a dear friend living overseas who had already told me about the ways that God is moving. It seems that people are pulling away from their classical Protestant roots of thinking that God only speaks through scripture. Both forces have begun to open me up to this avenue. My friend whom I mentioned previously has been coaching me a little bit on how to pray in a way that I might be able to hear God's voice. I was focusing on hearing actual sentences and nothing happened but as I've thought more in terms of images, even I've had some curious experiences. Much of those experiences seem to center around one place on the campus where I teach. There are numerous benches (Ironically, I think I've seen students making out there), lots of trees and the place is mostly green. For me it has become a sanctuary. Last week, I went for a run, something I haven't done for a long time but was motivated to do because my back was hurting, possibly from holding Uri (my six-month-old boy) so much. I didn't really plan the route but it just worked out that I came across my "sanctuary". When I came to that place I had such a sense of God's presence. I just sat there as I felt the energy. Before I left, I sang a song I learned as a teenager that goes like this: Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary pure and holy, trite and true. With thanksgiving, I'll be a living sanctuary, for you. As I left that place, I felt as if God was saying, "Where are you going? I'll be right here." Unfortunately, last week I was busy with the class I took but now that I have finished that I hope to return to that place and be able to hear God's voice so that I can know God more and tell others about God. They need God's grace and so do I. Thank you, Dear Friend!

A Mission Not Yet Accomplished

I've been on an emotional roller coaster ever since I heard that one of my favorite professors, "Dr. Thomas Jay Oord", was laid off of the university that is my alma mater. There are other places you can go to read the facts, like the "Support Tom Oord" group on Facebook. Other sites have more details about what is happening. I'm still not much for formal writing. Instead, here is one person's experience of being a student of Thomas Jay Oord's. I proffer (Used intentionally as a word coined by said professor) this account as one of many. I don't exactly remember my first encounter with Thomas Jay Oord. I remember every class I've taken with him (Critical Thinking, Modern/Postmodern Philosophy, Senior Theology) at two different universities (actually one college and one university because Massachusetts requires professors to have dual doctorates in order for the institution to be considered a university). One of the first "golden nuggets" I remember from Thomas Jay Oord was something like this, a reference to John Wesley: "No matter what I conclude I must conclude that God is love." That was in a critical thinking class. The good stuff came from Modern/Postmodern Philosophy. This was my first philosophy class ever. And unlike the stereo-typical philosophy professor who just paints a bunch of unrealistic questions, the questions this professor challenged us with were extremely relevant to where I was at. After spending four years at a Calvinistic non-accredited bible school, I was thoroughly confused and I needed some answers. Among many professors, Thomas Jay Oord was one such influential professor. I'll never forget my response to another presenter where I started with "The Bible says it, that settles it" and when I was finished, Thomas Jay Oord asked other students, "Who wants to start?" I knew I was in for it and I actually wanted to be because I knew my thinking was off but I wanted to hear why from Thomas Jay Oord. I had heard it from a theological/biblical perspective and I wanted to hear it from a philosophical one, too. I remember in the same class, talking about Open Theism, the idea that God can't know the future. I think I must have been attracted to this idea but I had a hard time buying into it. One day, Thomas Jay Oord had just returned from a conference with a scholar named Boyd who had written a book called, "God of the Possible". Thomas Jay Oord and ONLY Thomas Jay Oord loaned me that book for a week or over the weekend or something like that. The writer was coming from a conservative perspective (inerrancy of scripture) and I found his argument convincing. Lest the reader think that Thomas Jay Oord was into brainwashing, I remember an e-mail discussion group involving a student who was a million times as smart as me who didn't agree with Thomas Jay Oord but the professor was encouraging him to go to graduate school. That communicated to me that this professor was not trying to brainwash everyone into believing what he believed but that he wanted us to think for ourselves. I regretted not being able to study under the professor the next year as a result of transferring to another university due to the financial situation of the college I was attending and the fact that the majority of the religion faculty ended up leaving by the end of my first year and every professor ended up leaving the college within the next year. But I kept in touch with Thomas Jay Oord via e-mail while waiting to be reunited with him at the university I transferred to. I'm afraid our dialogue was mixed, sometimes about my questions and sometimes about crushes I had on girls but he was very gracious. It was at this point that I seemed to consider Thomas Jay Oord not only as my professor/mentor but as my friend. Looking back, I'm grateful for the time I got to spend with Thomas Jay Oord early in his career. As he taught more he got more and more involved in scholarship and I didn't have the same opportunities but he was still very gracious to me in spite of a busy schedule. I remember struggling with a presentation on Kant that was due the next day and he gave me some advice on how to prepare. He also passed on the "golden nuggets" as he called them, when I was questioning what to believe about Jesus. Those golden nuggets were to focus on what I was confident was true. I don't know what the reasons are for this professor being dismissed but if it has anything to do with process thought, I implore those concerned about the faith of students to rest assured that Thomas Jay Oord is not spoonfeeding his students but that he is giving them ideas to wrestle with. Having spent nearly four years at a bible school that tried to "protect" students from various ideas, it meant a lot to me that Thomas Jay Oord and another professor at the first college I attended had enough confidence in their students that they didn't shelter us from these so-called ideas. Even after I graduated from that university, continued on in graduate school, graduated from there and have moved on to work in universities in South Korea, my relationship with Thomas Jay Oord has remained positive. In spite of publishing numerous books, teaching full-time and having a family to take care, Thomas Jay Oord has somehow found time to respond to my e-mail questions. Having been through numerous years of theological education I've learned to think on my own. Nonetheless it's been a great journey to say the least. And the journey is not over yet. One of the interesting things is that I still feel like I know relatively little about those ideas that people must be making such a big deal out of. I still find myself thinking back to the good ol' days and wondering what my highly esteemed professor thinks about various issues. That ought to show that Thomas Jay Oord is a thought-provoking instructor but that he is not a brainwasher. I hope it's not too late before another quality professor gets ousted out of a Nazarene university. I have no doubt that he will have many more places to serve. The question is whether the institution where he currently serves can live without him. I think the answer is obvious.