Today isn't such a good day for Mom, at least not this morning. After they came in to change Mom's sponge, she threw up. Mom thinks they may have put too much pressure on her stomach, which they may not have been able to help. One person also asked another if she cut a stitch. Mom didn't think that sounded like a good thing.
Apparently, we are still waiting for them to figure things out with the wound vac. They have also indicated the possibility that Mom might have stress-induced diabetes type 2. As of yet, they don't have any reliable tests because Mom has been on insulin most of the time she has been here. We are hoping her body begins to regulate her sugar properly as she continues to heal and has less and less stress. I guess that means we have to make sure not to give her stress at home.
I'm a little worried about what's going to happen when Mom goes home and when I go to South Korea. Dad isn't the best at cooking or cleaning. He is usually in the paperwork zone, almost oblivious to the condition of the house. I've taken four cold showers this week because Bruce hasn't been able to (or hasn't received the orders) fix the water heater. Dad told JoAnn we don't need any help cleaning at home but I could use the help. Nevertheless I figured it would be a good lesson for Dad to get what he wants. It's his house so he should be able to have the right to manage it the way he wants.
JoAnn thinks I've taken over Mom's roles, as far as housekeeper and office-watcher. That made me wonder if I'm enabling Dad and should tell him what I think or if it would be better to do what I can do without trying to change Dad's thinking. When this whole ordeal started, I thought it would be a good time for us to all change our routines so that when Mom comes home we would have to mess with delegating responsibility and more importantly, Mom wouldn't be burdened to clean or do the other things. Unfortunately, Dad didn't bite onto that bait so I decided to just do what I can do. Otherwise, we all end up frustrated.
On a side note, Emma had to go to the doctor to have a berry removed from her nose. She and Tammy got this grand idea that it would be fun to push berries up their noses while JoAnn and I were talking. Tammy's came out but Emma's didn't. So they went up Emma's nose with long tweezers and pulled the berry out of her nose. I think this is another opportunity for us to all learn from these circumstances. I think the lesson for me is to watch my nieces closer. And perhaps the lesson for Emma is to realize that she can't do anything she wants to do. But I think I will leave that lesson between her, her sister, her parents and God.
I'm getting a little impatient waiting for them to discharge Mom from the hospital. A week from tomorrow I'm going to be heading back to Korea. I hope Mom will be home for a week before I leave but that may not be happening. Once Mom is home, it will be easier to take care of things at home. My goal for today is to mow the lawn and to start clearing things out of the living room. Then I hope to get everything cleaned before Mom gets home. Now how can I read 300 pages before I go home to South Korea next Thursday?
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Going home soon?
Mom is still in the hospital, where she has been since June 15th. She just said, "It is so discouraging." Sometimes she feels good and sometimes she doesn't. She has to take some stool softener every day which seems to help but before that she doesn't feel like eating much.
On the other hand, she seems to be quite strong and getting stronger every day. Yesterday was a good day for her. She was talking and she even expressed her frustration with me. That was the first time we had a really awkward moment because of a difference of opinion. I guess that is a good sign as far as her coming back to her old self.
On the other hand, that was an unfortunate experience and was a reminder of how overprotective my parents were of me and I think I was guilty of the same thing with Mom last night. What was the problem? We're trying to figure out how to best help Mom when she gets home. Of course, if I were going to be home forever we may not have much to worry about, though I'm sure we'd still need to find other people to help out. The big concern is how to find someone to be with Mom when Dad goes out of town for business, which he does on a weekly basis these days. He's not gone every day but he leaves for two or three days every week. We've been thinking that we (That's JoAnn, Bruce and I) will find help for Mom without asking Mom who she'd like to help. She didn't like that idea because there are obviously some people she's more comfortable with than others. Now I know this is a "well duh" situation and am embarrassed that I didn't think about this more. I felt bad last night even though we both said, "I'm sorry" and forgave each other.
Today I went to my family's church. It's an Independent Baptist Church. I was not looking forward to this nearly as much as I was going to the Episcopal Church I attended last week. But I survived the experience. My only major qualm was that it seemed like the pastor "guilted" the people. A secondary qualm was that he was all over the place, which reminded me of my pastor in Korea who goes to so many different passages that it seems utterly impossible for me to understand him preaching in Korean. Because my dad sings in the choir, he noticed I blinked my eyes a lot. I told him it was because I was so tired from listening to the long sermon.
Ironically, the pastor today preached on the same lines as the priest last Sunday: giving. But of course their passages were different (Today's was from Acts and last week was from one of the gospels). Today, the pastor emphasized giving in general, not just financially, though financially was a big part, perhaps in part because they have a building project in line, though they haven't begun any of the actual work. I'm not sure if they've even gotten the plans finalized just yet.
I think there's plenty more I've been thinking about but I guess that's enough for now. They just took Mom's temperature and she seems to have a bit of a fever. She wants to go to bed soon so I'll try to post more soon. Thanks for your prayers and following this blog, especially regarding Mom's health and her road to recovery.
On the other hand, she seems to be quite strong and getting stronger every day. Yesterday was a good day for her. She was talking and she even expressed her frustration with me. That was the first time we had a really awkward moment because of a difference of opinion. I guess that is a good sign as far as her coming back to her old self.
On the other hand, that was an unfortunate experience and was a reminder of how overprotective my parents were of me and I think I was guilty of the same thing with Mom last night. What was the problem? We're trying to figure out how to best help Mom when she gets home. Of course, if I were going to be home forever we may not have much to worry about, though I'm sure we'd still need to find other people to help out. The big concern is how to find someone to be with Mom when Dad goes out of town for business, which he does on a weekly basis these days. He's not gone every day but he leaves for two or three days every week. We've been thinking that we (That's JoAnn, Bruce and I) will find help for Mom without asking Mom who she'd like to help. She didn't like that idea because there are obviously some people she's more comfortable with than others. Now I know this is a "well duh" situation and am embarrassed that I didn't think about this more. I felt bad last night even though we both said, "I'm sorry" and forgave each other.
Today I went to my family's church. It's an Independent Baptist Church. I was not looking forward to this nearly as much as I was going to the Episcopal Church I attended last week. But I survived the experience. My only major qualm was that it seemed like the pastor "guilted" the people. A secondary qualm was that he was all over the place, which reminded me of my pastor in Korea who goes to so many different passages that it seems utterly impossible for me to understand him preaching in Korean. Because my dad sings in the choir, he noticed I blinked my eyes a lot. I told him it was because I was so tired from listening to the long sermon.
Ironically, the pastor today preached on the same lines as the priest last Sunday: giving. But of course their passages were different (Today's was from Acts and last week was from one of the gospels). Today, the pastor emphasized giving in general, not just financially, though financially was a big part, perhaps in part because they have a building project in line, though they haven't begun any of the actual work. I'm not sure if they've even gotten the plans finalized just yet.
I think there's plenty more I've been thinking about but I guess that's enough for now. They just took Mom's temperature and she seems to have a bit of a fever. She wants to go to bed soon so I'll try to post more soon. Thanks for your prayers and following this blog, especially regarding Mom's health and her road to recovery.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Little by Little
Here is a quick update on Mom before I translate a letter from Sinae that is very important for me to understand. I welcome anyone and everyone in helping me understand Korean. Any takers?:)
On the therapy side, Mom is doing well. They will probably be ready to release her by tomorrow (Friday). On the medical side, things are still unclear. Mom has been feeling nauseous and the wound care specialists (I'm not sure if they are classified as doctors or technicians or another title) said that they thought Mom's bowels weren't working since she hasn't had a bowel movement in a while and she isn't able to eat very much. So they told her to walk a lot and drink a lot of water. That seems to be helping, along with eating more fruit and being more selective of the other food she eats. She didn't didn't throw up today, unlike yesterday, so I think that is a plus.
My grandpa (Mom's dad) is worried that Mom isn't making progress sooner. But I think this is just a long process. I expect there to be a lot of ups and downs and we might as well stay positive because if we're negative that won't do us or Mom any good. I think I might be learning some of this from my relationship with Sinae. I think there is a difference between naive optimism where one is optimistic for the sake of optimism and optimism where one puts one's hope in something or someone. I'm not sure if I have this concept of faith down yet, but I still think it makes sense to trust God that God will work things out one or the other, though that way may not necessarily be the way I think God should do it. What do you think?
Have a nice day and thanks for stopping.:)
On the therapy side, Mom is doing well. They will probably be ready to release her by tomorrow (Friday). On the medical side, things are still unclear. Mom has been feeling nauseous and the wound care specialists (I'm not sure if they are classified as doctors or technicians or another title) said that they thought Mom's bowels weren't working since she hasn't had a bowel movement in a while and she isn't able to eat very much. So they told her to walk a lot and drink a lot of water. That seems to be helping, along with eating more fruit and being more selective of the other food she eats. She didn't didn't throw up today, unlike yesterday, so I think that is a plus.
My grandpa (Mom's dad) is worried that Mom isn't making progress sooner. But I think this is just a long process. I expect there to be a lot of ups and downs and we might as well stay positive because if we're negative that won't do us or Mom any good. I think I might be learning some of this from my relationship with Sinae. I think there is a difference between naive optimism where one is optimistic for the sake of optimism and optimism where one puts one's hope in something or someone. I'm not sure if I have this concept of faith down yet, but I still think it makes sense to trust God that God will work things out one or the other, though that way may not necessarily be the way I think God should do it. What do you think?
Have a nice day and thanks for stopping.:)
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Talk is cheap...except when it is about sending Mom home
Mom woke up this morning with nausea like she has been doing for the last few days. For some reason she hasn't felt real well today, along with a few other patients on the floor. On the positive side, one of her physical therapists said that she thought Mom would be going home soon so she started talking to Mom about what Mom might want at home (i.e. a chair in the bathtub etc.). They say it will be a few days but it seems that they are making progress with Mom. The dilemma of how to take care of Mom's wound care seems to be the main issue keeping Mom in the hospital. I don't think there is any rush since Mom isn't feeling real well today and since her eating isn't too strong, yet. Still, things seem to be coming along and I'm looking forward to the day when Mom will be ready to go home. She is looking forward to that day, too. It's always encouraging when people start talking about sending the patient home. The PT put Mom on independent today, which means she's able to get up and go to the bathroom as well as walk on her own.
I've been thinking today about how many different nationalities have been represented through the nursing staff at this hospital. Of course, there have been American citizens of various skin colors as well as people from other countries. So far, Mom has also been served by one nurse from Nigeria, one from Mexico and one from the Philippines. I envied her when she talked about eating white rice for lunch. There is also the hospitalist from Ethiopia.
I worked at the family business this afternoon. Dad wanted me to clean the counter but all I ended up doing was spreading everything on the counter and wiping the dust off. At least I was able to clean all the dust off the fan in the office. Then when Bruce came to ask me for help I was very short with him for some reason. He wanted me to help him move a van that has a mechanical problem and I didn't think about how hard I pulled on the chain when I drove the van and I wasn't sure what he wanted me to do. I acted like I knew what to do and then I got mad at him for not being more specific. Then I wondered why I got mad at him and apologized an hour later.
I've been disconcerted since yesterday when I chatted with Sinae for a few minutes and neither of us were very good at communicating. What I was telling her didn't line up with what I e-mailed her a few days ago and so she thought I was lying to her. Well, she agreed when I said she thought I was lying. But I am still wondering if "lie" means something different to her than the classic definition of intentionally misleading someone. I haven't heard from Sinae so I'm waiting for her to respond to my e-mail. It may that nothing is wrong from her end. It's very difficult to have this kind of issue as far apart as we are from each other. But perhaps there are some things lying underneath the issue that we need to talk about.
I think I better get some phone numbers for my friend Gil-Jun who wants to study at a university in America soon. Let me know if I haven't responded to your e-mail. Thanks for reading this blog, regardless of whether or not you leave a comment.
I've been thinking today about how many different nationalities have been represented through the nursing staff at this hospital. Of course, there have been American citizens of various skin colors as well as people from other countries. So far, Mom has also been served by one nurse from Nigeria, one from Mexico and one from the Philippines. I envied her when she talked about eating white rice for lunch. There is also the hospitalist from Ethiopia.
I worked at the family business this afternoon. Dad wanted me to clean the counter but all I ended up doing was spreading everything on the counter and wiping the dust off. At least I was able to clean all the dust off the fan in the office. Then when Bruce came to ask me for help I was very short with him for some reason. He wanted me to help him move a van that has a mechanical problem and I didn't think about how hard I pulled on the chain when I drove the van and I wasn't sure what he wanted me to do. I acted like I knew what to do and then I got mad at him for not being more specific. Then I wondered why I got mad at him and apologized an hour later.
I've been disconcerted since yesterday when I chatted with Sinae for a few minutes and neither of us were very good at communicating. What I was telling her didn't line up with what I e-mailed her a few days ago and so she thought I was lying to her. Well, she agreed when I said she thought I was lying. But I am still wondering if "lie" means something different to her than the classic definition of intentionally misleading someone. I haven't heard from Sinae so I'm waiting for her to respond to my e-mail. It may that nothing is wrong from her end. It's very difficult to have this kind of issue as far apart as we are from each other. But perhaps there are some things lying underneath the issue that we need to talk about.
I think I better get some phone numbers for my friend Gil-Jun who wants to study at a university in America soon. Let me know if I haven't responded to your e-mail. Thanks for reading this blog, regardless of whether or not you leave a comment.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Losing Things Can Be A Good Thing
I think I wrote yesterday that the PT had Mom walk without a walker yesterday but the nurses kept using a walker with Mom. But today was a new day. They took the walker out of her room and started letting her handle her wound vac (It must way somewhere around ten pounds). I went walking with her tonight without a nurse or CNA so I believe she is making progress. She told Bruce (when I was in the room) that her bleeding had stopped so I think that gives her some relief and she seems to be stronger tonight though she still seems to be extremely tired.
She's telling me I can go home if I want which I think is probably a subtle hint that she wants me to go home. I'll look forward to writing more good news tomorrow.
Blessings!
She's telling me I can go home if I want which I think is probably a subtle hint that she wants me to go home. I'll look forward to writing more good news tomorrow.
Blessings!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
TCU: Day (I'm not sure how many now)
I think I missed a day or two in keeping this blog up to date. Things feel like they are progressing a little more slowly and there hasn't been too much excitement so perhaps I felt less of a need to update this blog. Thanks to my Uncle Leland for asking me about Mom to remind me to post something here.
It seems that Mom has a problem with bleeding when she is on the blood thinner called Coumadin. A doctor who came in to see Mom today said he thought it may be because of Mom's hemorrhoids which were discovered ten years ago. Her nurse gave her a suppository and she seems to be doing better now though she has been sleeping a lot today.
Mom's progress seems to be coming right along though it seems to be going rather slow. But for being in the hospital for a little over two weeks, she has come a long way. I saw her walk without a walker today and I heard the PT say that she doesn't think Mom needs a walker anymore. Of course the nurses still have her use her walker to go to the bathroom and that sort of thing, probably just for safety.
Sometimes Mom seems discouraged because of how long the process of recovery is and how tired she gets. I came to visit her at 6:30 tonight and after we had some casual conversation she fell into a deep sleep and didn't wake up until Dad came around 8.
The doctor who came to see her today told her he thought she would probably be going home soon but he didn't specify how long "soon" would be. I think I have said before that the people taking care of Mom's incision are going to have a meeting on Tuesday to see about how they should advise Mom to take care of her incision. Because of the wound vac, she has to change the sponge once every three days. They would like her to do that but she is not sure she can handle that. They also need to train her on how to take care of her colostomy bag. So I would imagine it will be a few days left. I think we'd all be satisfied if she could be ready to come home by early next week. Notice I said "ready". We don't want to rush her coming home so that she has to be re-admitted to the hospital.
In response to my dilemma a week ago, I found a way to go to church today while also being with my mom in the morning. I thought that if I could find a church that has a service at 8am I could receive grace while also extending it to my mom. Then I remembered a church that I have driven by many Sundays through the years in my hometown because it is the way to the church I grew up in. Since that church doesn't have an 8am service and other reasons (I like the Anglican tradition which I have experienced in America and Korea and I wanted to receive grace through communion) I decided to go to Trinity Episcopal Church. The Rector talked about how we really cannot call anything "our own", which reminded me what a gift both Mom and Sinae, among other people and things" are to me and that I don't have a "right" to any of the relationships or the people or things that are in my life now. After I received communion I went to one of the prayer ministry teams to ask them to pray for my mom. The Rector also told me to come back if I can make the commute from South Korea to my hometown in America (This was a funny joke at the time).
It seems that Mom has a problem with bleeding when she is on the blood thinner called Coumadin. A doctor who came in to see Mom today said he thought it may be because of Mom's hemorrhoids which were discovered ten years ago. Her nurse gave her a suppository and she seems to be doing better now though she has been sleeping a lot today.
Mom's progress seems to be coming right along though it seems to be going rather slow. But for being in the hospital for a little over two weeks, she has come a long way. I saw her walk without a walker today and I heard the PT say that she doesn't think Mom needs a walker anymore. Of course the nurses still have her use her walker to go to the bathroom and that sort of thing, probably just for safety.
Sometimes Mom seems discouraged because of how long the process of recovery is and how tired she gets. I came to visit her at 6:30 tonight and after we had some casual conversation she fell into a deep sleep and didn't wake up until Dad came around 8.
The doctor who came to see her today told her he thought she would probably be going home soon but he didn't specify how long "soon" would be. I think I have said before that the people taking care of Mom's incision are going to have a meeting on Tuesday to see about how they should advise Mom to take care of her incision. Because of the wound vac, she has to change the sponge once every three days. They would like her to do that but she is not sure she can handle that. They also need to train her on how to take care of her colostomy bag. So I would imagine it will be a few days left. I think we'd all be satisfied if she could be ready to come home by early next week. Notice I said "ready". We don't want to rush her coming home so that she has to be re-admitted to the hospital.
In response to my dilemma a week ago, I found a way to go to church today while also being with my mom in the morning. I thought that if I could find a church that has a service at 8am I could receive grace while also extending it to my mom. Then I remembered a church that I have driven by many Sundays through the years in my hometown because it is the way to the church I grew up in. Since that church doesn't have an 8am service and other reasons (I like the Anglican tradition which I have experienced in America and Korea and I wanted to receive grace through communion) I decided to go to Trinity Episcopal Church. The Rector talked about how we really cannot call anything "our own", which reminded me what a gift both Mom and Sinae, among other people and things" are to me and that I don't have a "right" to any of the relationships or the people or things that are in my life now. After I received communion I went to one of the prayer ministry teams to ask them to pray for my mom. The Rector also told me to come back if I can make the commute from South Korea to my hometown in America (This was a funny joke at the time).
Friday, July 30, 2010
Transitional Care Unit (TCU): Day 1
Yesterday evening, they finally transferred Mom to the Transitional Care Unit (TCU). I first learned about this unit through a patient I met on the elevator who is probably around my age, who was wheeling himself around in a wheelchair. He broke my stereotypes of someone with blue hair and a patch over his eye. It turns out he is a very positive person and extremely easy to talk to. In fact, sometimes I end up talking with him as long as I talk to my mom. I'm glad for him that he gets to go home today. I'm sure he could use your prayers. I don't know much about his background, and am not sure it would be appropriate to share his name due to confidentiality laws. I just saw him get on the elevator to go home.
One of the hospitalists (A physician working in the hospital) came to visit Mom this morning. She is the doctor who examined Mom before the surgeon came in and shortly after that decided it was time to operate on Mom. At that time, Mom could hardly get out of bed. She thought Mom had made quite a bit of progress and didn't seem to think Mom would next an extreme amount of rehab. Someone told her that she'd probably be here 10 to 14 days, but one nurse told me some people are here for less time than that while others are here longer than that. The physician is concerned about the swelling in Mom's feet and legs so hopefully they will put Mom on some kind of water pill to take care of that. It is also disconcerting that they have to keep a close eye on Mom's blood sugar but the doctor (By the way, this doctor happens to be a woman. Something I think is worth mentioning, don't you?:) said that if she didn't have diabetes before her body should be able to regulate sugar later. The thing we don't know for certain is how long that will be. So we will continue to wait and take things a day at a time.
Have I mentioned that I am reading "Letters to God" to Mom at night. This is fun for me because it gives me a chance to continue practicing my acting skills. For those of you who don't know this, my students and Sinae think I'm quite an actor. Now, don't take this too seriously but it is a fun way to show the differences in intonation. On a more serious note, I find this book to be a means for me to think through the process I've seen with Mom. So far in the book, the father/husband was killed when he had a head-on collision with a drunk driver. In the book, his wife has a lot of questions about why this happened. I suppose that somewhere deep down inside, behind all the busyness of visiting Mom and helping out around home, there is this part of me who wonders this same thing.
Last night, I received grace by talking with Sinae. I find myself in constant bewilderment about how this relationship continues to take place. I am so grateful for the relationship I have with her. I don't think this is simply a case of me being grateful for a relationship with just any woman, but with one woman in particular. I like her approach to dealing with problems and her openness to having a relationship with me. If you know me at all, you know I'm not the easiest person to be around, what with all my seriousness and the many questions I have. Sometimes these questions scare her, but after thinking through things some, she comes around. She has been quite a blessing to me over the 8 or 9 months.
One of the hospitalists (A physician working in the hospital) came to visit Mom this morning. She is the doctor who examined Mom before the surgeon came in and shortly after that decided it was time to operate on Mom. At that time, Mom could hardly get out of bed. She thought Mom had made quite a bit of progress and didn't seem to think Mom would next an extreme amount of rehab. Someone told her that she'd probably be here 10 to 14 days, but one nurse told me some people are here for less time than that while others are here longer than that. The physician is concerned about the swelling in Mom's feet and legs so hopefully they will put Mom on some kind of water pill to take care of that. It is also disconcerting that they have to keep a close eye on Mom's blood sugar but the doctor (By the way, this doctor happens to be a woman. Something I think is worth mentioning, don't you?:) said that if she didn't have diabetes before her body should be able to regulate sugar later. The thing we don't know for certain is how long that will be. So we will continue to wait and take things a day at a time.
Have I mentioned that I am reading "Letters to God" to Mom at night. This is fun for me because it gives me a chance to continue practicing my acting skills. For those of you who don't know this, my students and Sinae think I'm quite an actor. Now, don't take this too seriously but it is a fun way to show the differences in intonation. On a more serious note, I find this book to be a means for me to think through the process I've seen with Mom. So far in the book, the father/husband was killed when he had a head-on collision with a drunk driver. In the book, his wife has a lot of questions about why this happened. I suppose that somewhere deep down inside, behind all the busyness of visiting Mom and helping out around home, there is this part of me who wonders this same thing.
Last night, I received grace by talking with Sinae. I find myself in constant bewilderment about how this relationship continues to take place. I am so grateful for the relationship I have with her. I don't think this is simply a case of me being grateful for a relationship with just any woman, but with one woman in particular. I like her approach to dealing with problems and her openness to having a relationship with me. If you know me at all, you know I'm not the easiest person to be around, what with all my seriousness and the many questions I have. Sometimes these questions scare her, but after thinking through things some, she comes around. She has been quite a blessing to me over the 8 or 9 months.
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