I've become a little disorganized about my blogging but hopefully it is still making sense. The surgeon who first met with Mom is covering for the surgeon who operated on Mom and saved Mom's life came to see Mom today. He remembered seeing Mom before they discovered the blood clot in her artery and the hole in her colon. I probably overstated how grateful we are to Dr. Burton without expressing gratitude to him for what Dr. Burton did. I hope I didn't sound like a cranky customer. I guess there is just a part of me that wonders how the hole in Mom's colon was missed when Dr. Burton (the surgeon who operated on Mom) found it. But I guess it is harder to read a CT scan than it seems to those of us who don't know the first thing about reading a CT scan.
The surgeon talked about putting Mom on a regular diet so hopefully they'll be experimenting with her diet today to see how she does. She hasn't been eating a lot so hopefully with some more appetizing food, she will start eating more. Her blood sugar has been going up and down but things are going well.
Mom's greatest desire is to start walking and hopefully that will happen as the fluid they pumped in through her veins comes out slowly but surely. Right now I'm going to visit another lady in the ICU with my grandpa. He's very good at making friends with a lot of different people.
Thanks for following Mom's journey and participating with us.
God's Shalom!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Blood IS thicker than water.
It seems that I am learning a lot more about family after being in America for a bit longer than I anticipated. I have had problems with my only grandpa still living, whom I have always enjoyed being around, and the problem seems to be about money. I usually let him buy my meals since he is usually the one to invite me to meals and since I figure he has more money than I do. I also assume that since he is older than me and that since I have limited funds until I return to South Korea, he will be more than happy to buy the meals. The second issue is about the garage that I have used since I was old enough to drive a car. Regarding the first issue, it is not easy to convince Grandpa that I should buy the meal. He seems like he wants to but he often complains about how much more expensive the restaurants in my hometown are than they are in the city where he lives. This suggests to me that he doesn’t really want to do this so I think he should just do what he wants to do. The garage issue is a baffling one, one that comes up time and time again. Though it seemed he brought it up in a very passive-aggressive way, I decided I was tired of hearing him complain about it so I said I’d start paying the $9/month for electricity. Eventually he told me he didn’t like my attitude but we both agreed that I should go ahead and starting paying this part of the electricity. After all, I’m not paying any rent for use of the garage. Though yesterday was rough, today seems to have gone better.
I should’ve known this wouldn’t be the end of the family squabbles. I guess it started when I decided that after all the company Mom had today, she deserved to have a little rest and relaxation with her husband. So I opted to take my nieces into the nearby waiting room. I figured there might not be any people there, there would be plenty of space, it would be easier to keep them under control since they don’t listen to me all that well and I sure didn’t want to my mom to have more stress and have to get after them herself. I thought this was a good idea. Then when their mom came back, we went back with her into Mom’s room.
Now what happened after that I’m not quite sure about. I didn’t receive any information that might correct my negative thinking. All I have to go off of is vibes and the one thing I have learned from Sinae is that it is sometimes better to let someone be mad at me and wait for her/him to talk to me than to make the issue worse by bringing it up. So this is only my perception. Remember, I am an INTJ, NOT an INFJ, so I probably can’t feel very well.
That being said, it seems to me that my sister-in-law was bothered by the fact that I took her daughters away from their grandma whom they haven’t been able to see very much over the past week. She left me in charge of them while she went to change vehicles in case you were wondering why she left. I think she changed vehicles because her husband needed the car she was driving for a business appointment he had tonight.
My hint to this possible confrontation was when my sister-in-law asked my mom if she was burdened by her daughters being in the room with her. Then something seemed different about the way she communicated with me. I did get a response when I told one of her daughters she has a big belly. Apparently, this was one of those moments when I didn’t say everything I was thinking. What I was thinking is how concerned I am about her bloated belly and the fact that her stomach always seems to be bothering her. She seems to be a prime candidate for IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). When my sister-in-law said, “That’s not a very nice thing to say to girls”, I justified my action by saying, “It’s okay this time.” I didn’t really think about what I was saying when I said that. I think that’s probably something my brother and/or father might say. I wasn’t too happy about that thought. Then my other niece asked her mom as if I wasn’t in the room, “Why did he say that, Mommy?” Then I said I was concerned about her sister always having a bloated tummy but I suppose I didn’t communicate that very well.
So, now I guess I’ll wait to see what happens next in this family episode. My sister-in-law hasn’t been sleeping well these days for some reason. I suppose that could be taxing and could set her on edge to some extent. But I would imagine there is something that set her off when I took her girls into the waiting room around the corner from my mom’s room. And perhaps there was something else that caused this upset.
Whatever the answer to this perplexing situation, I suppose I should take a step back and try to look at things from a mother’s perspective and then I would like to return to my overwhelming question, “If family is important, so what?”
The thing I don’t know that might be telling as to why my nieces’ mother was upset, if she was in fact upset with me due to how I took care of her daughters while she was gone, taking the girls out of their grandma’s room while their parents were gone, is the feelings of the girls I was taking care of. My oldest niece didn’t seem to be bothered by my telling her that we were going to go to another room so that grandma can have some peace and quiet but my youngest niece didn’t seem to want to go. Nonetheless, neither of them cried and we had a fun time in the waiting room where we went. And I do believe I asked my mom if she’d like us to leave the room for a while so she and my dad could talk for a while. I do believe I had my mom’s best interests in mind, not the girls. Whoops. I’m supposed to see things from my sister-in-law’s side. The only thing I can come up with as to why she would be upset is if she felt like I was taking her daughters away from one of their grandma’s or if I was just power hungry and didn’t think about their grandma, them or my sister-in-law. I wonder what the big deal is. If someone puts someone else in charge, is it reasonable for the person who left to question the other person’s judgment, especially without saying a word about it to the person who was left in charge?
I do think my comment to my niece does deserve some negative criticism. If it were possible to say what I was thinking, I suppose I could’ve (I’m trying to get away from “should”) said, “It seems like your tummy is bloated (What is the equivalent of this that a 4 year-old would understand?). Does it seem like your tummy feels big when your tummy hurts the most (Again, I question how much of this is intelligible to a 4 year-old).” Then again, perhaps I should’ve just kept my thoughts to myself and talked to her parents about it later. I find this kind of situation hopeless no matter how one looks at it.
This is probably analogous of something I’ve been struggling with since Mom got sick. That is, “How can I help my family improve things for Mom?” I find myself sometimes trying to fix things that I can’t really fix. It seems that regarding one of my nieces, it is really none of my business how my brother and his wife deal with her, even though I think that one of their daughters has the same problem I have.
Now for the question about what to do about those members of society who are most important to us, our family. It seems to me that family is important to us. But what does that mean? Does that mean that we drop everything for them? Does that mean that we do things for them that we wouldn’t do for anyone else?
For me, the thing that makes friends, significant others or spouses so valuable is that we get to choose them. And if we don’t get along with those people we call our friends or whatever, we don’t have to continue relationships with them anymore. Sadly, at least in my family, this happens sometimes, too. I wonder if my family and I were only friends if we would still be friends. There is a part of me that is glad that family members are more sticktoitive than that. But then there is another part of me that is perplexed at these kinds of situations where it seems like we do things much more cautiously for the sake of having peace, rather than being more open as it seems I am with some of my closest friends who surely couldn’t be as close as family. But in my case, especially during my college and seminary years, my friends provided me with at least what appeared to be closer relationships. And yet, it is my family that I meet most often when I come home from another country.
Lest this blog suggest that this question is closed by ending in a statement, this subject is not closed. And perhaps it would do me well to think seriously about the difference between friends and family. Do friends fill the void that family members sometimes leave or are they merely the most plausible substitute for a void that only family can fill?
I should’ve known this wouldn’t be the end of the family squabbles. I guess it started when I decided that after all the company Mom had today, she deserved to have a little rest and relaxation with her husband. So I opted to take my nieces into the nearby waiting room. I figured there might not be any people there, there would be plenty of space, it would be easier to keep them under control since they don’t listen to me all that well and I sure didn’t want to my mom to have more stress and have to get after them herself. I thought this was a good idea. Then when their mom came back, we went back with her into Mom’s room.
Now what happened after that I’m not quite sure about. I didn’t receive any information that might correct my negative thinking. All I have to go off of is vibes and the one thing I have learned from Sinae is that it is sometimes better to let someone be mad at me and wait for her/him to talk to me than to make the issue worse by bringing it up. So this is only my perception. Remember, I am an INTJ, NOT an INFJ, so I probably can’t feel very well.
That being said, it seems to me that my sister-in-law was bothered by the fact that I took her daughters away from their grandma whom they haven’t been able to see very much over the past week. She left me in charge of them while she went to change vehicles in case you were wondering why she left. I think she changed vehicles because her husband needed the car she was driving for a business appointment he had tonight.
My hint to this possible confrontation was when my sister-in-law asked my mom if she was burdened by her daughters being in the room with her. Then something seemed different about the way she communicated with me. I did get a response when I told one of her daughters she has a big belly. Apparently, this was one of those moments when I didn’t say everything I was thinking. What I was thinking is how concerned I am about her bloated belly and the fact that her stomach always seems to be bothering her. She seems to be a prime candidate for IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). When my sister-in-law said, “That’s not a very nice thing to say to girls”, I justified my action by saying, “It’s okay this time.” I didn’t really think about what I was saying when I said that. I think that’s probably something my brother and/or father might say. I wasn’t too happy about that thought. Then my other niece asked her mom as if I wasn’t in the room, “Why did he say that, Mommy?” Then I said I was concerned about her sister always having a bloated tummy but I suppose I didn’t communicate that very well.
So, now I guess I’ll wait to see what happens next in this family episode. My sister-in-law hasn’t been sleeping well these days for some reason. I suppose that could be taxing and could set her on edge to some extent. But I would imagine there is something that set her off when I took her girls into the waiting room around the corner from my mom’s room. And perhaps there was something else that caused this upset.
Whatever the answer to this perplexing situation, I suppose I should take a step back and try to look at things from a mother’s perspective and then I would like to return to my overwhelming question, “If family is important, so what?”
The thing I don’t know that might be telling as to why my nieces’ mother was upset, if she was in fact upset with me due to how I took care of her daughters while she was gone, taking the girls out of their grandma’s room while their parents were gone, is the feelings of the girls I was taking care of. My oldest niece didn’t seem to be bothered by my telling her that we were going to go to another room so that grandma can have some peace and quiet but my youngest niece didn’t seem to want to go. Nonetheless, neither of them cried and we had a fun time in the waiting room where we went. And I do believe I asked my mom if she’d like us to leave the room for a while so she and my dad could talk for a while. I do believe I had my mom’s best interests in mind, not the girls. Whoops. I’m supposed to see things from my sister-in-law’s side. The only thing I can come up with as to why she would be upset is if she felt like I was taking her daughters away from one of their grandma’s or if I was just power hungry and didn’t think about their grandma, them or my sister-in-law. I wonder what the big deal is. If someone puts someone else in charge, is it reasonable for the person who left to question the other person’s judgment, especially without saying a word about it to the person who was left in charge?
I do think my comment to my niece does deserve some negative criticism. If it were possible to say what I was thinking, I suppose I could’ve (I’m trying to get away from “should”) said, “It seems like your tummy is bloated (What is the equivalent of this that a 4 year-old would understand?). Does it seem like your tummy feels big when your tummy hurts the most (Again, I question how much of this is intelligible to a 4 year-old).” Then again, perhaps I should’ve just kept my thoughts to myself and talked to her parents about it later. I find this kind of situation hopeless no matter how one looks at it.
This is probably analogous of something I’ve been struggling with since Mom got sick. That is, “How can I help my family improve things for Mom?” I find myself sometimes trying to fix things that I can’t really fix. It seems that regarding one of my nieces, it is really none of my business how my brother and his wife deal with her, even though I think that one of their daughters has the same problem I have.
Now for the question about what to do about those members of society who are most important to us, our family. It seems to me that family is important to us. But what does that mean? Does that mean that we drop everything for them? Does that mean that we do things for them that we wouldn’t do for anyone else?
For me, the thing that makes friends, significant others or spouses so valuable is that we get to choose them. And if we don’t get along with those people we call our friends or whatever, we don’t have to continue relationships with them anymore. Sadly, at least in my family, this happens sometimes, too. I wonder if my family and I were only friends if we would still be friends. There is a part of me that is glad that family members are more sticktoitive than that. But then there is another part of me that is perplexed at these kinds of situations where it seems like we do things much more cautiously for the sake of having peace, rather than being more open as it seems I am with some of my closest friends who surely couldn’t be as close as family. But in my case, especially during my college and seminary years, my friends provided me with at least what appeared to be closer relationships. And yet, it is my family that I meet most often when I come home from another country.
Lest this blog suggest that this question is closed by ending in a statement, this subject is not closed. And perhaps it would do me well to think seriously about the difference between friends and family. Do friends fill the void that family members sometimes leave or are they merely the most plausible substitute for a void that only family can fill?
Friday, July 23, 2010
ICU No More
I'm sorry for the late update. I worked on a long letter to Sinae yesterday which occupied most of my time. We received good news from the surgeon yesterday that Mom would be transferred out of ICU and that she could try liquids. Mom just ordered lunch and they said she could have soup. The Physical Therapist recommended that Mom go to the physical therapy unit before going home. It sounds like they may transfer her there by the weekend or early next week and then after she is there for a week she may be able to go home.
Mom is coming right along, recovering from all the drugs in her system, a lot less blunt, and is freely using the telephone. All of the things unique to Mom's personality are coming alive. She even played Old Maid with JoAnn (My sister-in-law), Emma and Tammy (Mom's granddaughters) and she seemed to do fairly well. She was happy that yesterday went faster than the day before and she slept well until 3 am.
Mom's legs still feel a little bit rubbery so that part of her is still uncomfortable. I guess that is to be expected after lying in bed for nearly a week without any movement outside of the bed. I suspect they will try to get her walking at least to a chair in her room by the end of the day. They had her sitting at the side of her bed two times and a nurse stood with her the third time while they did some maintenance on her catheter.
Right now she and Grandpa seem to be having a normal conversation in her room. The surgeon told me that she thinks Mom is doing very well so this is good news to me. Mom had to have the gauze on her wound vac replaced for the second time and she said it went better than the first time. Mom had a temperature last night but they seemed to nip that in the bud with a little more antibiotic.
Mom is at the stage where she seems able to have conversation very comfortably so if you are in the area and have the time, feel free to drop by.
Thanks for all your prayers, support and the time you give to think about Mom.
Mom is coming right along, recovering from all the drugs in her system, a lot less blunt, and is freely using the telephone. All of the things unique to Mom's personality are coming alive. She even played Old Maid with JoAnn (My sister-in-law), Emma and Tammy (Mom's granddaughters) and she seemed to do fairly well. She was happy that yesterday went faster than the day before and she slept well until 3 am.
Mom's legs still feel a little bit rubbery so that part of her is still uncomfortable. I guess that is to be expected after lying in bed for nearly a week without any movement outside of the bed. I suspect they will try to get her walking at least to a chair in her room by the end of the day. They had her sitting at the side of her bed two times and a nurse stood with her the third time while they did some maintenance on her catheter.
Right now she and Grandpa seem to be having a normal conversation in her room. The surgeon told me that she thinks Mom is doing very well so this is good news to me. Mom had to have the gauze on her wound vac replaced for the second time and she said it went better than the first time. Mom had a temperature last night but they seemed to nip that in the bud with a little more antibiotic.
Mom is at the stage where she seems able to have conversation very comfortably so if you are in the area and have the time, feel free to drop by.
Thanks for all your prayers, support and the time you give to think about Mom.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
ICU: Day 4
Mom continues to show signs of improvement. They took the tube out of her that keeps her from vomiting after they clamped it and found it wasn't gathering much liquid. The doctors and nurses continue to give good reports in spite of the pain that she is feeling. Right now she is moaning because of all the pain she is feeling. Although they've given her a button to push for when she needs more pain medicine, I'm hoping they'll be giving her more pain medicine in a minute (aka booster).
The physical therapist started working with Mom today but decided not to take Mom out of bed because she is so weak. So she had Mom doing hand and foot exercises and brought her up to 60 degrees. That hurt to do that and then of course when they replaced the wound vac gauze, which they have to do three times a week as opposed to two times a day with gauze pad when I had a ruptured appendicitis, they laid her flat. That caused a lot of pain because of all those muscles that were cut through for the surgery.
She's been moaning because of all the pain she's been in but they just repositioned her and she said that's better. Now she doesn't seem to be moaning quite as much but she is still moaning some. I guess it might just take some time.
When they removed the gauze one of the technicians thought she might be in a different unit by Friday. That sounds good though I'm not taking that too seriously. The day nurse, Linda, said that she's not ready to be dismissed from ICU just yet. She still seems to be struggling with her breathing. Still, people are saying she's getting better every day, in spite of the way Mom feels.
Thanks for your continuous thoughts and prayers. See you next time. Don't forget to leave us a comment or question.
The physical therapist started working with Mom today but decided not to take Mom out of bed because she is so weak. So she had Mom doing hand and foot exercises and brought her up to 60 degrees. That hurt to do that and then of course when they replaced the wound vac gauze, which they have to do three times a week as opposed to two times a day with gauze pad when I had a ruptured appendicitis, they laid her flat. That caused a lot of pain because of all those muscles that were cut through for the surgery.
She's been moaning because of all the pain she's been in but they just repositioned her and she said that's better. Now she doesn't seem to be moaning quite as much but she is still moaning some. I guess it might just take some time.
When they removed the gauze one of the technicians thought she might be in a different unit by Friday. That sounds good though I'm not taking that too seriously. The day nurse, Linda, said that she's not ready to be dismissed from ICU just yet. She still seems to be struggling with her breathing. Still, people are saying she's getting better every day, in spite of the way Mom feels.
Thanks for your continuous thoughts and prayers. See you next time. Don't forget to leave us a comment or question.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Breathing Machine Has Been Removed
Today started off with a bang, as you may have sensed from my previous blog. As they suggested might happen, after weaning Mom off the machine and doing some breathing tests, they decided it was time to take the breathing machine off of Mom. After this, her voice was hoarse and she wasn't able to say much. But she did eventually say, "I'm alive" five times to Grandpa and I. She and Dad were able to have their first long conversation since Mom went into the OR.
Mom is having a little trouble breathing since they took her off the breathing machine. I'm learning that "is this normal?" is the wrong question to ask in situations like these. I guess it is possible that Mom is having to rebuild her strength to breathe on her own though nobody knows this for sure. The nurse gave Mom some breathing medicine that is supposed to remove the fluid from Mom's lungs and I suspect that the blood clot near her lungs is also making it a little difficult to breathe.
In spite of this, I think we can still give thanks for the progress Mom is making while also recognizing that she has a long road ahead of her. The nurses also keep reminding us to take a day at a time. They talked about having Mom walk sometime today but perhaps they will wait until Mom gets her breathing under control. I DO think that would be a good idea, though I also know getting Mom out of bed is important to prevent her from getting adhesions and it's just better for her overall once she is able to manage that.
One of Mom's friends came to be a blessing to Mom and apparently struck some nerves (I mean this in a positive) as she talked about the importance of facing the why questions that we all have while also recognizing we may not always find answers to these questions. I noticed that Mom cried some during this time and I was very grateful to Mom's friend (Let's call her Carol because...that's her name).
Hopefully many more (Perhaps those of you reading this blog) will also be able to come and visit her soon. I'll let you know when this happens. Meanwhile, please pray for Mom as she continues to heal that Providence will continue to guide Mom's healing process, not just her physical well-being but also her spiritual and emotional well-being, too.
God's Shalom!
Mom is having a little trouble breathing since they took her off the breathing machine. I'm learning that "is this normal?" is the wrong question to ask in situations like these. I guess it is possible that Mom is having to rebuild her strength to breathe on her own though nobody knows this for sure. The nurse gave Mom some breathing medicine that is supposed to remove the fluid from Mom's lungs and I suspect that the blood clot near her lungs is also making it a little difficult to breathe.
In spite of this, I think we can still give thanks for the progress Mom is making while also recognizing that she has a long road ahead of her. The nurses also keep reminding us to take a day at a time. They talked about having Mom walk sometime today but perhaps they will wait until Mom gets her breathing under control. I DO think that would be a good idea, though I also know getting Mom out of bed is important to prevent her from getting adhesions and it's just better for her overall once she is able to manage that.
One of Mom's friends came to be a blessing to Mom and apparently struck some nerves (I mean this in a positive) as she talked about the importance of facing the why questions that we all have while also recognizing we may not always find answers to these questions. I noticed that Mom cried some during this time and I was very grateful to Mom's friend (Let's call her Carol because...that's her name).
Hopefully many more (Perhaps those of you reading this blog) will also be able to come and visit her soon. I'll let you know when this happens. Meanwhile, please pray for Mom as she continues to heal that Providence will continue to guide Mom's healing process, not just her physical well-being but also her spiritual and emotional well-being, too.
God's Shalom!
ICU: Day 3...Help is on the way
My spirits are much higher today than they were yesterday at this time. When I came in to visit Mom with my grandpa the nurse told us Mom's blood pressure is up which is a very good thing because only with medicine were they able to keep her blood pressure up to normal. I can't help but think it had something to do with Dad coming into the room to visit and speaking to Mom. He even gave her a kiss which I think she deserved after all she's done for us, not to mention all the things she's been through.
They have started to wean her off of the breathing machine and she seems to be doing quite well. When they moved her she was breathing heavier but the nurse said that was to be expected in light of the fact that they were moving her and we all breathe harder when we are exercising.
I don't know what else to say. When I first came in yesterday morning I was a bit discouraged until the anesthesiologist came in and assured us she would be fine but that this would be a tough week. Grandpa and Dad thought they saw change yesterday and it seems like there is more positive change today.
I just want to say thank you again for all the prayers, phone calls, thoughts, concerns and support we have received from our family and friends. Mom is making progress but she still has a long road ahead of her.
It pleases me that Mom is smiling more today, particularly with her eyes. As her cousin Ardis has said, that's the real Marilyn.
My spirits are high. Please leave a comment to let me know your thoughts on all of this and continue to pass this on to the whole world. I am so thankful every day that I get to spend time with Mom and I hope we don't take her for granted every again.
They have started to wean her off of the breathing machine and she seems to be doing quite well. When they moved her she was breathing heavier but the nurse said that was to be expected in light of the fact that they were moving her and we all breathe harder when we are exercising.
I don't know what else to say. When I first came in yesterday morning I was a bit discouraged until the anesthesiologist came in and assured us she would be fine but that this would be a tough week. Grandpa and Dad thought they saw change yesterday and it seems like there is more positive change today.
I just want to say thank you again for all the prayers, phone calls, thoughts, concerns and support we have received from our family and friends. Mom is making progress but she still has a long road ahead of her.
It pleases me that Mom is smiling more today, particularly with her eyes. As her cousin Ardis has said, that's the real Marilyn.
My spirits are high. Please leave a comment to let me know your thoughts on all of this and continue to pass this on to the whole world. I am so thankful every day that I get to spend time with Mom and I hope we don't take her for granted every again.
Monday, July 19, 2010
ICU: Day 2
Mom is still in ICU for the second full day (presuming she stays there until tonight) and they are not going to take her off of the breathing machine because her blood pressure is still too low without medicine. I had to come into the waiting room while they put a wound vac on her to suck out all of the stool and other bad stuff from her belly cavity. They can do this because they didn't close her incision when they operated.
I was a little disheartened when the nurse who is working with Mom for the first time (for her) said that Mom is no worse. I heard that before she went into surgery. Then I was encouraged when the anesthesiologist came into the room. I remembered him from when he came into the room before surgery and told us that the surgery was very risky and that we could lose her in the OR. Now I know that he is very direct. He said that Mom was stable during the surgery (I'm proud of my mom who was very strong even during this difficult time with her health) and that she will make it through this though this week will be very tough for her. That took away the tears from my eyes for the time being. Nonetheless, I'm choosing to believe that things are going to work out. I seem to hear a constant reminder from God to trust God in spite of these difficulties and not to forget the vow I made to live my life differently as a result of all of this.
My mind is very much at ease now that I have decided to stick around here at least until August. I hate being so far away from Sinae but I can't hardly pull myself away from my mom. I was blessed by Sinae's brother, Siwon who wrote me an e-mail practically ordering me to stay with my mom and family during this time of need and NOT to return to Korea until Mom is better.
It's time for lunch. I'll be posting more by tomorrow. Feel free to pass this blog onto people as you wish. We need all the prayer and support we can get. We are grateful to God and the grace God is giving us in many different forms.
I was a little disheartened when the nurse who is working with Mom for the first time (for her) said that Mom is no worse. I heard that before she went into surgery. Then I was encouraged when the anesthesiologist came into the room. I remembered him from when he came into the room before surgery and told us that the surgery was very risky and that we could lose her in the OR. Now I know that he is very direct. He said that Mom was stable during the surgery (I'm proud of my mom who was very strong even during this difficult time with her health) and that she will make it through this though this week will be very tough for her. That took away the tears from my eyes for the time being. Nonetheless, I'm choosing to believe that things are going to work out. I seem to hear a constant reminder from God to trust God in spite of these difficulties and not to forget the vow I made to live my life differently as a result of all of this.
My mind is very much at ease now that I have decided to stick around here at least until August. I hate being so far away from Sinae but I can't hardly pull myself away from my mom. I was blessed by Sinae's brother, Siwon who wrote me an e-mail practically ordering me to stay with my mom and family during this time of need and NOT to return to Korea until Mom is better.
It's time for lunch. I'll be posting more by tomorrow. Feel free to pass this blog onto people as you wish. We need all the prayer and support we can get. We are grateful to God and the grace God is giving us in many different forms.
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