Mom continues to show signs of improvement. They took the tube out of her that keeps her from vomiting after they clamped it and found it wasn't gathering much liquid. The doctors and nurses continue to give good reports in spite of the pain that she is feeling. Right now she is moaning because of all the pain she is feeling. Although they've given her a button to push for when she needs more pain medicine, I'm hoping they'll be giving her more pain medicine in a minute (aka booster).
The physical therapist started working with Mom today but decided not to take Mom out of bed because she is so weak. So she had Mom doing hand and foot exercises and brought her up to 60 degrees. That hurt to do that and then of course when they replaced the wound vac gauze, which they have to do three times a week as opposed to two times a day with gauze pad when I had a ruptured appendicitis, they laid her flat. That caused a lot of pain because of all those muscles that were cut through for the surgery.
She's been moaning because of all the pain she's been in but they just repositioned her and she said that's better. Now she doesn't seem to be moaning quite as much but she is still moaning some. I guess it might just take some time.
When they removed the gauze one of the technicians thought she might be in a different unit by Friday. That sounds good though I'm not taking that too seriously. The day nurse, Linda, said that she's not ready to be dismissed from ICU just yet. She still seems to be struggling with her breathing. Still, people are saying she's getting better every day, in spite of the way Mom feels.
Thanks for your continuous thoughts and prayers. See you next time. Don't forget to leave us a comment or question.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Breathing Machine Has Been Removed
Today started off with a bang, as you may have sensed from my previous blog. As they suggested might happen, after weaning Mom off the machine and doing some breathing tests, they decided it was time to take the breathing machine off of Mom. After this, her voice was hoarse and she wasn't able to say much. But she did eventually say, "I'm alive" five times to Grandpa and I. She and Dad were able to have their first long conversation since Mom went into the OR.
Mom is having a little trouble breathing since they took her off the breathing machine. I'm learning that "is this normal?" is the wrong question to ask in situations like these. I guess it is possible that Mom is having to rebuild her strength to breathe on her own though nobody knows this for sure. The nurse gave Mom some breathing medicine that is supposed to remove the fluid from Mom's lungs and I suspect that the blood clot near her lungs is also making it a little difficult to breathe.
In spite of this, I think we can still give thanks for the progress Mom is making while also recognizing that she has a long road ahead of her. The nurses also keep reminding us to take a day at a time. They talked about having Mom walk sometime today but perhaps they will wait until Mom gets her breathing under control. I DO think that would be a good idea, though I also know getting Mom out of bed is important to prevent her from getting adhesions and it's just better for her overall once she is able to manage that.
One of Mom's friends came to be a blessing to Mom and apparently struck some nerves (I mean this in a positive) as she talked about the importance of facing the why questions that we all have while also recognizing we may not always find answers to these questions. I noticed that Mom cried some during this time and I was very grateful to Mom's friend (Let's call her Carol because...that's her name).
Hopefully many more (Perhaps those of you reading this blog) will also be able to come and visit her soon. I'll let you know when this happens. Meanwhile, please pray for Mom as she continues to heal that Providence will continue to guide Mom's healing process, not just her physical well-being but also her spiritual and emotional well-being, too.
God's Shalom!
Mom is having a little trouble breathing since they took her off the breathing machine. I'm learning that "is this normal?" is the wrong question to ask in situations like these. I guess it is possible that Mom is having to rebuild her strength to breathe on her own though nobody knows this for sure. The nurse gave Mom some breathing medicine that is supposed to remove the fluid from Mom's lungs and I suspect that the blood clot near her lungs is also making it a little difficult to breathe.
In spite of this, I think we can still give thanks for the progress Mom is making while also recognizing that she has a long road ahead of her. The nurses also keep reminding us to take a day at a time. They talked about having Mom walk sometime today but perhaps they will wait until Mom gets her breathing under control. I DO think that would be a good idea, though I also know getting Mom out of bed is important to prevent her from getting adhesions and it's just better for her overall once she is able to manage that.
One of Mom's friends came to be a blessing to Mom and apparently struck some nerves (I mean this in a positive) as she talked about the importance of facing the why questions that we all have while also recognizing we may not always find answers to these questions. I noticed that Mom cried some during this time and I was very grateful to Mom's friend (Let's call her Carol because...that's her name).
Hopefully many more (Perhaps those of you reading this blog) will also be able to come and visit her soon. I'll let you know when this happens. Meanwhile, please pray for Mom as she continues to heal that Providence will continue to guide Mom's healing process, not just her physical well-being but also her spiritual and emotional well-being, too.
God's Shalom!
ICU: Day 3...Help is on the way
My spirits are much higher today than they were yesterday at this time. When I came in to visit Mom with my grandpa the nurse told us Mom's blood pressure is up which is a very good thing because only with medicine were they able to keep her blood pressure up to normal. I can't help but think it had something to do with Dad coming into the room to visit and speaking to Mom. He even gave her a kiss which I think she deserved after all she's done for us, not to mention all the things she's been through.
They have started to wean her off of the breathing machine and she seems to be doing quite well. When they moved her she was breathing heavier but the nurse said that was to be expected in light of the fact that they were moving her and we all breathe harder when we are exercising.
I don't know what else to say. When I first came in yesterday morning I was a bit discouraged until the anesthesiologist came in and assured us she would be fine but that this would be a tough week. Grandpa and Dad thought they saw change yesterday and it seems like there is more positive change today.
I just want to say thank you again for all the prayers, phone calls, thoughts, concerns and support we have received from our family and friends. Mom is making progress but she still has a long road ahead of her.
It pleases me that Mom is smiling more today, particularly with her eyes. As her cousin Ardis has said, that's the real Marilyn.
My spirits are high. Please leave a comment to let me know your thoughts on all of this and continue to pass this on to the whole world. I am so thankful every day that I get to spend time with Mom and I hope we don't take her for granted every again.
They have started to wean her off of the breathing machine and she seems to be doing quite well. When they moved her she was breathing heavier but the nurse said that was to be expected in light of the fact that they were moving her and we all breathe harder when we are exercising.
I don't know what else to say. When I first came in yesterday morning I was a bit discouraged until the anesthesiologist came in and assured us she would be fine but that this would be a tough week. Grandpa and Dad thought they saw change yesterday and it seems like there is more positive change today.
I just want to say thank you again for all the prayers, phone calls, thoughts, concerns and support we have received from our family and friends. Mom is making progress but she still has a long road ahead of her.
It pleases me that Mom is smiling more today, particularly with her eyes. As her cousin Ardis has said, that's the real Marilyn.
My spirits are high. Please leave a comment to let me know your thoughts on all of this and continue to pass this on to the whole world. I am so thankful every day that I get to spend time with Mom and I hope we don't take her for granted every again.
Monday, July 19, 2010
ICU: Day 2
Mom is still in ICU for the second full day (presuming she stays there until tonight) and they are not going to take her off of the breathing machine because her blood pressure is still too low without medicine. I had to come into the waiting room while they put a wound vac on her to suck out all of the stool and other bad stuff from her belly cavity. They can do this because they didn't close her incision when they operated.
I was a little disheartened when the nurse who is working with Mom for the first time (for her) said that Mom is no worse. I heard that before she went into surgery. Then I was encouraged when the anesthesiologist came into the room. I remembered him from when he came into the room before surgery and told us that the surgery was very risky and that we could lose her in the OR. Now I know that he is very direct. He said that Mom was stable during the surgery (I'm proud of my mom who was very strong even during this difficult time with her health) and that she will make it through this though this week will be very tough for her. That took away the tears from my eyes for the time being. Nonetheless, I'm choosing to believe that things are going to work out. I seem to hear a constant reminder from God to trust God in spite of these difficulties and not to forget the vow I made to live my life differently as a result of all of this.
My mind is very much at ease now that I have decided to stick around here at least until August. I hate being so far away from Sinae but I can't hardly pull myself away from my mom. I was blessed by Sinae's brother, Siwon who wrote me an e-mail practically ordering me to stay with my mom and family during this time of need and NOT to return to Korea until Mom is better.
It's time for lunch. I'll be posting more by tomorrow. Feel free to pass this blog onto people as you wish. We need all the prayer and support we can get. We are grateful to God and the grace God is giving us in many different forms.
I was a little disheartened when the nurse who is working with Mom for the first time (for her) said that Mom is no worse. I heard that before she went into surgery. Then I was encouraged when the anesthesiologist came into the room. I remembered him from when he came into the room before surgery and told us that the surgery was very risky and that we could lose her in the OR. Now I know that he is very direct. He said that Mom was stable during the surgery (I'm proud of my mom who was very strong even during this difficult time with her health) and that she will make it through this though this week will be very tough for her. That took away the tears from my eyes for the time being. Nonetheless, I'm choosing to believe that things are going to work out. I seem to hear a constant reminder from God to trust God in spite of these difficulties and not to forget the vow I made to live my life differently as a result of all of this.
My mind is very much at ease now that I have decided to stick around here at least until August. I hate being so far away from Sinae but I can't hardly pull myself away from my mom. I was blessed by Sinae's brother, Siwon who wrote me an e-mail practically ordering me to stay with my mom and family during this time of need and NOT to return to Korea until Mom is better.
It's time for lunch. I'll be posting more by tomorrow. Feel free to pass this blog onto people as you wish. We need all the prayer and support we can get. We are grateful to God and the grace God is giving us in many different forms.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
ICU: Day 1
I came to visit Mom this morning with my maternal grandpa. We stayed here until lunchtime and then joined JoAnn, Bruce, Emma and Tammy (my brother and his family) for lunch. Dad came along to drink a glass of Pepsi and finish off the hamburger that Emma didn't want to finish. After that we came to the hospital and I was surprised to see my mom's cousin Yolanda and her husband Clayton come along to visit. Then Sharon and LeRoy (Mom's younger but not youngest brother and his wife) came along. Katie (my cousin, their daughter) joined them during her lunch break. She might come back tonight with her husband, Ivan.
The report on Mom is that her vitals are good and she is doing better than the surgeon expected her to do. She is still on the breathing machine which they will continue until her breathing is better. She is breathing fast right now, perhaps because of the blood clot. But all in all, the report on her is good. The nurse thinks she is strong and that Mom will make a full recovery.
I would imagine that the most difficult part for Mom is not being able to communicate with us (i.e. talk) though she can understand what we are saying and nod up and down. I would imagine the second hardest thing for her is not being able to serve herself. And perhaps the third hardest thing is asking for more pain medicine when she is hurting. After that, it is difficult for her not to bite down on the breathing tube. I think they are beginning to suspect that they need to give her more medicine when this happens. She had some problems earlier but now she is doing well.
I was blessed to have my Aunt Sharon ask me how I am doing. For me, I am thankful that Mom is still alive. Even though she has tubes going every which way, I am hopeful that she will come through. I did cry for about an hour last night as I remembered all the trauma I've seen Mom go through. I trust these are tears of joy in gratitude for the fact that Mom survived two significant ordeals that seemed to be life-threatening to some extent.
I hesitate to talk about how we are dealing with this as a family but I think it might be helpful to write this down and come to a better understanding of my own thinking and perhaps you can tell me where I am wrong in my thinking. It seems that some of my family is less optimistic. Mom's cousin Ardis suggested this is because they didn't see Mom when her blood clot apparently moved (aka the afternoon episode that seemed like ER central where Mom's heart rate and temperature shot through the roof as she shivered so bad that the bed was shaking). Or perhaps it is just difficult to see Mom in this condition.
For some reason, I am drawn to spending a lot of time with Mom in the hospital. I can't imagine any place I'd rather be and I think it does Mom good to show that she is important enough to spend time with her above all else. Not only that, but I remember when I was sick in the hospital and how difficult it was when my family wasn't around and I got edgy as I wondered when they were going to come. Meanwhile, other family members spend some time with her and go about their other duties. I'm probably not being fair in my expectation that they should be here more since I have little to no responsibility. I am just so thankful to have Mom around and I think we can (I said should but I'm trying to change my thinking with this word) show her our appreciation and love by spending a lot of time here. Now surely I am in the wrong in my thinking, aren't I?
I guess everything is what it is. Surely Mom has a sweet deal with some family members who want to spend a little time with her and one who can't do anything else. I heard a lot about "ministry of presence" in seminary and I find that we can do what we need to do here while keeping Mom company while she gets better.
The report on Mom is that her vitals are good and she is doing better than the surgeon expected her to do. She is still on the breathing machine which they will continue until her breathing is better. She is breathing fast right now, perhaps because of the blood clot. But all in all, the report on her is good. The nurse thinks she is strong and that Mom will make a full recovery.
I would imagine that the most difficult part for Mom is not being able to communicate with us (i.e. talk) though she can understand what we are saying and nod up and down. I would imagine the second hardest thing for her is not being able to serve herself. And perhaps the third hardest thing is asking for more pain medicine when she is hurting. After that, it is difficult for her not to bite down on the breathing tube. I think they are beginning to suspect that they need to give her more medicine when this happens. She had some problems earlier but now she is doing well.
I was blessed to have my Aunt Sharon ask me how I am doing. For me, I am thankful that Mom is still alive. Even though she has tubes going every which way, I am hopeful that she will come through. I did cry for about an hour last night as I remembered all the trauma I've seen Mom go through. I trust these are tears of joy in gratitude for the fact that Mom survived two significant ordeals that seemed to be life-threatening to some extent.
I hesitate to talk about how we are dealing with this as a family but I think it might be helpful to write this down and come to a better understanding of my own thinking and perhaps you can tell me where I am wrong in my thinking. It seems that some of my family is less optimistic. Mom's cousin Ardis suggested this is because they didn't see Mom when her blood clot apparently moved (aka the afternoon episode that seemed like ER central where Mom's heart rate and temperature shot through the roof as she shivered so bad that the bed was shaking). Or perhaps it is just difficult to see Mom in this condition.
For some reason, I am drawn to spending a lot of time with Mom in the hospital. I can't imagine any place I'd rather be and I think it does Mom good to show that she is important enough to spend time with her above all else. Not only that, but I remember when I was sick in the hospital and how difficult it was when my family wasn't around and I got edgy as I wondered when they were going to come. Meanwhile, other family members spend some time with her and go about their other duties. I'm probably not being fair in my expectation that they should be here more since I have little to no responsibility. I am just so thankful to have Mom around and I think we can (I said should but I'm trying to change my thinking with this word) show her our appreciation and love by spending a lot of time here. Now surely I am in the wrong in my thinking, aren't I?
I guess everything is what it is. Surely Mom has a sweet deal with some family members who want to spend a little time with her and one who can't do anything else. I heard a lot about "ministry of presence" in seminary and I find that we can do what we need to do here while keeping Mom company while she gets better.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
She's Fine
I am pleased to share the good news that Mom came through the surgery in better condition than the surgeon expected. I would like to make mention of the fact that the surgeon is a woman. What a great thing for a woman to not only be able to have this kind of job but also to be superior at her job. I wish we would've given her applause for the work she did. But I guess we were so numb from everything that we were just glad she came through.
She still has the blood clot and she will be put on blood thinner for the next 6 months and after that they will remove the bag and connect the two pieces of her large intestine. The surgeon removed approximately one foot of Mom's large intestine and said that once Mom recovers she expects Mom to live a normal life, perhaps more normal than she did before.
She is in ICU now and she will hopefully be awake tomorrow morning. Dad and Bruce are in there now. I feel like I should sing the Hallelujah chorus, though the battle is not over. However, this is a HUGE victory. And I am thankful to God for hearing the prayers of many a people, a true testimony of God's love, grace, and forgiveness. I think Mom went into surgery feeling guilty for not taking care of her body and I trust she's going to wake up with gratitude for the grace to experience a second chance at life. She does have a long road and I trust that we will all remember that along the way.
I think that while I sing the Hallelujah chorus I'm going to shed tears of joy and thankfulness for this second chance at life and I intend to live my life differently and love my mother deeper than ever before.
She still has the blood clot and she will be put on blood thinner for the next 6 months and after that they will remove the bag and connect the two pieces of her large intestine. The surgeon removed approximately one foot of Mom's large intestine and said that once Mom recovers she expects Mom to live a normal life, perhaps more normal than she did before.
She is in ICU now and she will hopefully be awake tomorrow morning. Dad and Bruce are in there now. I feel like I should sing the Hallelujah chorus, though the battle is not over. However, this is a HUGE victory. And I am thankful to God for hearing the prayers of many a people, a true testimony of God's love, grace, and forgiveness. I think Mom went into surgery feeling guilty for not taking care of her body and I trust she's going to wake up with gratitude for the grace to experience a second chance at life. She does have a long road and I trust that we will all remember that along the way.
I think that while I sing the Hallelujah chorus I'm going to shed tears of joy and thankfulness for this second chance at life and I intend to live my life differently and love my mother deeper than ever before.
Waiting is SO much fun!
Well, here I am with my family in the waiting room. My mom is being prep'd for an hour surgery with a six-hour waiting time. The anesthesiologist told her that there is a risk in doing surgery with a blood clot so we did some crying hopefully in faith that Mom will make it through. An hour can't be aaaall that bad, can it? I believe, I believe, I believe...
As I am experiencing this moment, my greatest guilt is taking Mom for granted. Mom is not the most dynamic person in the world but she has a heart of gold that leads her into a virtuous life. I remember many times when she helped me with homework until the wee hours of the morning. Of course there were the times when she got mad at me for waiting too long to do my homework.
Then there is the peacemaker side of her. Sometimes she doesn't say much when she disagrees with someone, which makes family members a little confused at times but everybody knows the reason is that she doesn't want to get into an argument with someone. The funny thing is that my girlfriend Sinae thinks this is a good thing. Of course there is a time for disagreeing which Mom does in her own way. Anyway, the point is that Mom is a peacemaker and that IS her greatest virtue.
It saddens me that Mom is kicking herself for not taking care of herself as far as a proper diet is concerned. I think it is very difficult to eat a high-fiber diet in America. And the problem is that it could have just flared up. And if she was at fault, it would seem that the doctors are equally at fault for sending her home two times from the emergency and a physician who turned her away numerous times. Or perhaps there is some truth to the other side of my thinking, that maybe there was nothing they could've done differently. I'm having a hard time believing that right now.
I didn't realize how risky the surgery was until now. There will be a second surgery 6 months after this one, so they can connect her colon again. And there is also the possibility that Mom could be better, the same or worse after surgery. But if she doesn't have the surgery, she will eventually lose to the infection.
It's funny how one's thinking changes in moments like these. I found myself submitting to a smorgasboard of theologies: Free Church, High Church, Protestant, Catholic, Lutheran. Dad liked my prayer except at the end when I went all liturgical and Trinitarian. I guess that was too "Lutheran" for him. That's okay.
I'm feeling better after writing a little bit, except when I think about what is really at stake here. And that scares me to death. Nonetheless, I choose to believe. I was hoping the doctor would come while I was writing this but I guess I don't have that many thoughts. Thanks for suffering through this long blog. I'll post the results as soon as the doctor comes and tells us something. Meanwhile, please eat right and don't let the doctor send you home sick. And above all else, treasure ALL the relationships you have and don't take those closest to you for granted. Thanks for all you are doing for my family and I.
God's Everlasting Shalom!
As I am experiencing this moment, my greatest guilt is taking Mom for granted. Mom is not the most dynamic person in the world but she has a heart of gold that leads her into a virtuous life. I remember many times when she helped me with homework until the wee hours of the morning. Of course there were the times when she got mad at me for waiting too long to do my homework.
Then there is the peacemaker side of her. Sometimes she doesn't say much when she disagrees with someone, which makes family members a little confused at times but everybody knows the reason is that she doesn't want to get into an argument with someone. The funny thing is that my girlfriend Sinae thinks this is a good thing. Of course there is a time for disagreeing which Mom does in her own way. Anyway, the point is that Mom is a peacemaker and that IS her greatest virtue.
It saddens me that Mom is kicking herself for not taking care of herself as far as a proper diet is concerned. I think it is very difficult to eat a high-fiber diet in America. And the problem is that it could have just flared up. And if she was at fault, it would seem that the doctors are equally at fault for sending her home two times from the emergency and a physician who turned her away numerous times. Or perhaps there is some truth to the other side of my thinking, that maybe there was nothing they could've done differently. I'm having a hard time believing that right now.
I didn't realize how risky the surgery was until now. There will be a second surgery 6 months after this one, so they can connect her colon again. And there is also the possibility that Mom could be better, the same or worse after surgery. But if she doesn't have the surgery, she will eventually lose to the infection.
It's funny how one's thinking changes in moments like these. I found myself submitting to a smorgasboard of theologies: Free Church, High Church, Protestant, Catholic, Lutheran. Dad liked my prayer except at the end when I went all liturgical and Trinitarian. I guess that was too "Lutheran" for him. That's okay.
I'm feeling better after writing a little bit, except when I think about what is really at stake here. And that scares me to death. Nonetheless, I choose to believe. I was hoping the doctor would come while I was writing this but I guess I don't have that many thoughts. Thanks for suffering through this long blog. I'll post the results as soon as the doctor comes and tells us something. Meanwhile, please eat right and don't let the doctor send you home sick. And above all else, treasure ALL the relationships you have and don't take those closest to you for granted. Thanks for all you are doing for my family and I.
God's Everlasting Shalom!
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