Goodbye Friend

I sit here in shock tonight as I have heard the news that my second cousin once removed (my dad's cousin) has passed away. I tried to reach him by phone and he didn't answer. I tried to text him several times but I never received a response. It's funny how these kinds of events make one re-examine one's choices. I recently visited the US with my wife, son and mother-in-law. At that time it seemed so much more important to visit Los Angeles, Hollywood, San Francisco, Yosemite National Park, family in Colorado and the Grand Canyon than it was to say goodbye to a relative who was more like a friend. I heard the 3-month prognosis but I guess I naively assumed it would be longer than 3 months. Oh, how things would be different if I had only known. His name was Ward Dirks. I was told long ago that he and I were a lot alike in our personalities. I thought that was cool. And we always had a lot to talk about. I wasn't sure we always agreed politically, but that didn't seem to be the most important thing. What was important to Ward was people knowing God, in Christ, by the Holy Spirit. If there is one word I'd use to describe my relationship with Ward it would be, "support." There are two events in my life that he and my Great Aunt Jeannine were supportive of: (1) Graduation from seminary and (2) applying for an associate pastor position in Ohio. We talked many times after that, but unfortunately not enough. It was difficult to manage the time difference between South Korea and Indiana so we talked once on a holiday. I've been so far removed from the situation that I didn't realize how far downhill he'd gone until I saw a picture on Facebook. Then when I heard the news from my brother Bruce today it was another shock. Then seeing a picture with his older daughter bidding farewell it really hit home. What I really need is a shoulder to cry on but I don't get that luxury living so far away from any family member who feels the same pain. So I express it here. I always doubt whether I can make much of a difference in this world but when I think of people like Ward, I guess I'm convinced that I'm wrong, that one person can indeed make a difference. I can't help but look at the lessons of Ward's life. We tend to dwell on the goodness of people when they die but the fact is none of us is perfect and I think it's fair to say Ward had his wild times in his younger days. I don't know when the change happened but I do believe he found the abundant life Jesus spoke of as recorded in the New Testament. I believe it was John Wesley who said something to the effect of, "Don't just show me your theology but show me the life behind your theology and then I'll believe it." And I think Ward would bid us all to take another look at what we're doing and why. And for those who were closest to him, it is a reminder that we don't have to go down the same wild path to find true life but we can learn from his life and we can start down the narrow road sooner and go down it longer. Whether or not that means we get a longer life or not, that seems inconsequential. Because as was said of another friend who passed away sooner than one would expect, "It is not the years in your life that count but the life in your years." So here's to Ward and a more meaningful, deeper plunge into the abundant life without all the detours that take us away from the abundant life.